To think this comment from a friend was cruel?

[Kelly099]

I was walking through town with a friend looking for a bite to eat. We walked past a charity that provide hot meals and drinks for the homeless/vulnerable, and there was a large crowd of people waiting to receive their meal.
My friend joked 'This is where we're eating tonight.'
I was quite disgusted, and told her 'You're very lucky to not be in that position.' she didn't say anything and changed the subject.
I'm sure it was just a case of speaking without thinking, but I was quite disappointed tbh.

I think it was funny.

I’ve volunteered for the homeless for over 25 years and I totally understand why you’d not be happy. You’re also right and that recent studies have shown we’re one pay check away from ourselves. Well almost everyone, the other thing you have to remember is lots of them come from very dysfunctional homes and they just don’t cope in society.

im also calling this new universal credit stuff they’re doing is just going to cause
kore vulnerable people to be out on the street

Im sure she isn't genuinely mocking the homeless.

So why did you make it into such a big deal then?

Honestly maybe not the best thought out joke jn the moment but gosh you sound like hard work in a friend .

Move on unless you want to make a big deal and lose a friend.

We can't please each all of the time. Perhaps she dosent like everything you say?

We’ll done for speaking out OP.
Your ‘friend’ should be ashamed of themselves

Yes, it’s sad that society is set up in such a way that it creates homelessness. But many homeless people have a good sense of humour and don’t want to be pitied. Pity can be viewed as othering and insulting. And pity doesn’t help anyone.

I too interpreted the joke as the line is long the food must be great. I may have replied with Hmm yes I have heard the food is great here. Better that than to get on some kind of moral high horse and judge your friend so harshly.

It was a joke about the food, not the people.

I expect that there were people the queue that may have made a similar joke too. You don't lose your sense of humour when you lose a roof over your head.

Oh but you’re so worthy you had to write a thread about it because just fuming solo didn’t do it for you.

jeez

Only you know your friend well enough to know whether she was making a daft joke or whether she's a bit of a hateful snob.

If I was bringing a friend to my local area for food and then joking said 'so, here we are' as we walked past the Hare Krishna handing out bowls of rice, I would expect them to know it's a daft joke with no malice. I'd be really taken aback if they came back at me with some self-righteous snark about being grateful for not being starving.

Something I look out for as a red flag in friendships is whether a person looks for opportunity to put me down, or make me into 'bad object' so they can be superior. A couple of times of that and I'm out.

Surely it was more of a comment taking the piss out of yourselves than the homeless/vulnerable? I'm sure she didn't mean it in the way you have taken it.

I think you were a little OTT sorry....

I agree with you op I know she was joking and probably didn't mean anything by it but I think at the moment things are so bad for so many I get why you would feel disappointed I would feel the same. X

😂”Long ramble about her long tits!” Yes we have rather diverted the thread. But Pippi Longstocking was exactly what came to mind. It could be the sequel as her tits must be getting rather low on collagen by now!

Good lord. The virtue signaling is strong with this one. Unclutch, your, pearls. FFS.

Isn’t that the statistic of the average number of children?
Could he have been referring to that?

If you can't make a (slightly) off-colour joke with a friend, what's the point?

Being homeless and/or hungry isn't something to joke about. How would those people feel if they heard what she said? YANBU

OK so it wasn't a particularly funny, and was possibly a bit insensitive, but your reaction is pretty extreme tbh.
People blurt things out without thinking all the time. None of us would speak to anyone else if we didn't let things go when we realise there's no malice in the intent.

Yes this is very true. I’ve heard some dire jokes in situations where at some ( often subconscious) level the joker feels uncomfortable but tries to make light of it, as if to convince themselves it doesn’t matter. Humour and discomfort are quite closely linked in our emotional repertoire and it is easy to short cut from one to the other. That’s why Shakespeare plays often juxtapose a tragic scene and a humorous one. It’s the kind of “had to laugh or I’d cry” scenario ( tho normally laughter comes when it isn’t really bad enough to cry but you need some kind of emotional response). It wasn’t particularly funny, but hey: none of us are perfect You would have probably found it frankly weird and OTT if she’d burst into tears .

Wouldn’t bother me at all. Yabu.

Yes you have different types of humour, but running to start a thread about it makes you sound horribly virtuous.