To think this comment from a friend was cruel?

[Kelly099]

I was walking through town with a friend looking for a bite to eat. We walked past a charity that provide hot meals and drinks for the homeless/vulnerable, and there was a large crowd of people waiting to receive their meal.
My friend joked 'This is where we're eating tonight.'
I was quite disgusted, and told her 'You're very lucky to not be in that position.' she didn't say anything and changed the subject.
I'm sure it was just a case of speaking without thinking, but I was quite disappointed tbh.

Bloody hell I'm glad I'm not your friend 😉

🙄 OTT reaction

Ffs 🙄

It was a misjudged joke. If you were my friend I’d be busy the next time you wanted to go out.

I would take her as either meaning ‘great, free food’ or ‘it must be good as it’s popular’. Neither of which is cruel and sounds more of a throwaway comment when passing than joking about homeless people. I’m all for calling stuff out when necessary but I don’t think it was needed in this case.

Am I understanding correctly that she said it in earshot of the queue? If that's the case YANBU.

It’s a slightly clumsy attempt at a joke, and I don’t think it was at anyone’s expense. You’re being unreasonable.

oh come on. I volunteered at meals on wheels for years but I'd have still laughed, because humour is what takes you by surprise. If she said, i've found this swish new place, it was written up in Time OUt and then ............

Well I'd have laughed. Maybe not like a drain but I would have laughed.

Don't make all your poor friends be on eggshells around you OP.

It was a bad joke.

Just roll your eyes and move on.

My mom is homeless. My dad died homeless..

I would have smiled and let this go.
She clearly wasn't mocking the homeless.

She's probably hungry and a line up means it's a popular restaurant usually.

What she said.

You sound quite sensitive

@Kelly099 I think your "friend" was punching down. She was making a joke at the expense of those less well off than you and her. And she was effectively asking you to conspire with her in that "joke".

What is wrong with you It’s a joke.

The joke doesn’t mock homeless people. It just sounds like you were trying to find a place to eat and she tried to make a joke.

Why make the thread about being disgusted by it then ?

I think you should delete and block this so-called friend.

Do her a favour.

I know a few ex homeless people, they would all say that sort of joke tbh.

You’re overreacting.

FFS. I don't find this joke funny, but a joke is what it is. Being " disgusted" is OTT.
Don't watch Life of Brian by the way. You will be horrified by actors making a joke of crucifixion. For shame.

You sound hard work OP. I have a colleague we have to tiptoe around (she just got offended over something similar) and we’re a bit relieved she’s leaving.

I think she spoke without thinking.

I’d probably have called her out too, albeit with a bit more humour.

I wouldn’t dwell on it

You sound really pious, OP. You say that you're sure your friend wasn't 'genuinely mocking the homeless' yet here you are, slagging her off and hoping for validation from others.

What sort of 'friend' are you exactly? Best to cut ties with this one, for her sake.

Like many people I care about homeless people and give money to homeless charities but come on - it was a silly joke. Do we really have to be so po faced and serious all the time? She wasn't joking about homeless people. It was a throw away comment that she probably regretted given your reaction. I certainly wouldn't be feeling disgusted.

The focal point of the joke was the Food not the homeless people.

I wouldn't have found it in the slightest bit funny either - but with that being said, people say things in the moment or trying to be funny and it doesn't land. I'd just move on and not consider it too damning. I'm sure she's embarrassed after effectively being put in her place.

As an aside, unless you yourself are contributing to the relief of the problem by volunteering or donating to places such as these locally, I don't think there's much point getting offended at all.

I think you are being absolutely ridiculous. She was joking. Of course she’s not mocking the homeless, if she’s a decent person she’ll be just as outraged as you about the homeless. Making that joke wouldn’t have offended any of those homeless people, they didn’t hear it. Lighten up. You know she’s probably gone home and moaned about you too don’t you? I bet she said to her DH ‘Blimey Kelly was a bit touchy today. I joked that we were eating at the soup kitchen and she bit my head off. I was only joking, I wouldn’t dream of upsetting anyone.’