To not go to Christmas do due to this?

[KeiraKnightley2]

I work in the private sector. Me and the one other person who lives a 1.5 hour commute away either get a taxi home after or a hotel stay. I've done both.

This year I asked for a taxi and at first they said yes. The next day I received an email saying budgets this year wouldn't stretch to it so it isn't possible. So I'll need to travel in and I won't be able to relax because then I need to worry about travelling back again.

The trains are hellish enough just now never mind the week before Christmas. In all honesty I've been struggling lately due to a bereavement last month but thought at least I can show face then have the taxi home.

There's always the feeling you need to be seen going to these things. Would you suck it up even if it's pretty crap?

Just don't go? Surely they'll understand that no-one wants a 1.5 hour winter drive home after a Christmas do. I know you say it would be 'frowned upon' but so what. Presumably you do your work, which is your contractual obligation to this organisation.

Mine was in London, I live in Yorkshire, we started at lunchtime and got the 8pm train home. Paid for.

It's also not a good look if company sponsored drinking leads to someone being taken ill or worse on the way home.

If the trains are likely to be so unreliable that you can't get home, or it would take forever, or it's an unsafe journey late at night, then that's a very good reason not to go.

We have two offices - there was a train strike last year so we had to cancel as no-one could get there. Staff from the further away office have to stay over so we are offered this too. I'll just get the train as mine are (usually) reliable.

And hotel rooms are £150 in London.

Why don’t you do the 3-6/7 bit then leave? Or stay for the meal but then leave. You’ll still get a train then, probably no busier than a rush hour one.

This blows my mind, a fully paid for works do and people are unhappy about having to arrange their own travel or accommodation.

Just don’t go if you don’t want to but moaning about having to get a train seems pretty churlish.

Well, I hope it has expanded your mind. The OP doesn't know how that she can get home in a reasonable time or safely on the train. That's a very good reason not to go. She is hardly talking about sueing her employer over it, she just isn't going.

1.5 hrs is a pretty standard commute.
I do that but trains are quite reliable. If they’re not then don’t go.

I no longer attend work social events. My commute is 2 hours (tube & train) each way. Works fine in main commuting hours but gets flakey outside those hours.

Private sector can be weird about parties with definite double standards. Label it as a Christmas meal and there is no budget. Label it as a team meeting then the budget is available. There will be no difference in the events themselves. If anything, because the company is footing the bill, the 'team meeting' will be more riotous.

Generally sales and marketing teams are seen as being worthy of having extravagant events. For some reason the teams which provide support (admin, finance etc) are not perceived as being worthy.

Don't put yourself through it, it sounds as though you could really do with opting out.

I wouldn't make an excuse, I'd be honest about why you're declining.

I think you’re misunderstanding, deciding whether to do something because of travel arrangements is a decision that people make every single day because as an adult this is part of life.

It is the moaning about not having transport or accommodation provided by an employer for a Christmas party which blows my mind.

I hear that this is a change from normal practice but surely people have noticed that we are living in economically challenging times and can’t be that surprised?

I agree.

Our Christmas parties are always held near work, as many people have over an hours commute.
None of us would ever ask them if they would pay for a taxi or hotel.

I can’t afford to go to mine this year and so I’m just not going.

But she's not complaining, she's saying it doesn't really work for her and that she doesn't want to go - that's totally fair!

What's making her worry about BU is the expectation from work that people turn up to these events.

I think you’re being unreasonable. Having chosen to commute, it’s your responsibility to budget for that. So, I think you either need to choose not to go, or to suck it up. Depends how much you want to go, I guess.

If you don't want to go because of the bereavement then don't go. But if it's because they won't pay for a taxi then there's no reason why you can't leave after the Secret Santa and champagne, or go fur the meal and leave early at about 9pm and explain its because you have a long journey home.

If they always done it and now said they wont, I'd decline on principle. Once they've done it once and seen you've attended anyway then they will never offer again ven if things pick up.

IMO if a private company are spending ££ on a christmas do then they ought to try to include all staff, even if that means cutting back elsewhere, sug as reducing the overall food/drink budget.

I think it be good to show your face a bit, to just to the first /some of this event but not all of it this works do getogether party,

Couldn't you possibly share a taxi with anyone or

I do think it's crap that they said yes your company and told you no later cause financial circumstances in the company had changed...
in regards of travelling arrangements to this upcoming event,
when before it no prob
i wouldn't like that either too.

I was just going to suggest this.

@KeiraKnightley2 I’d agree with going until 6/7 and missing the meal. If you’re travelling in that day especially as you don’t normally go in on Fridays you have made an effort.

I would, though, email back to the organisers stating why you can’t go to it all (say it’s not financially viable to fund your own taxi home and not an option to get a late train) / it’s a shame the offer of travel was retracted / would they reconsider so you can attend for the whole evening?

If they say no, then I’d say absolutely you should not be feeling obliged to attend the whole thing. And, “hopefully the offer of travel costs will be reinstated so that I am able to attend next year…”

Yes she is.
She asked them to pay for it and they’ve said no, which she’s annoyed about and thinks it’s unfair.

If she doesn’t want to go, then she shouldn’t go.
She can either tell the truth why or make up an excuse.

PPs have said about going for a short while to show her face, which may be a good compromise.

I have lived 1.5 hrs from work for several years

I always go to the do. Never had transport paid. Ever

I just leave early and make sure I don't drink too much

In the past i have paid for a hotel myself

I've been the person who's been lumbered with organising the Christmas party before. It's really stressful and nothing to do with my normal job. I think it was just because I'm female and have quite a few work friends.
It was so stressful. So much expectation. Balancing budgets. The whinging and moaning from people. The unhelpful suggestions of 'why don't you xyz'. I'm sure you will be - but just be mindful that the person organising is probably trying to do their best.

So join in the secret santa and the prev dinner drinks and go home at 7. You've shown your face and job done.

Not sure why you are so annoyed. Clearly the person you emailed thought it would be covered and then they clarified. Doesn't seem unreasonable in current climate and also just because you choose to live so far from work. What if you live 1hr away ? Why don't they get a taxi? Or someone who lives 45 mins away but awkward for public transport? Where does it stop !

Perhaps we have a different definition of complaining. I see quite a lot of it.

Blows mine too, a fully paid for works Do and they still expect the Company to pay for a taxi or hotel accommodation.