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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to Christmas do due to this?

263 replies

KeiraKnightley2 · 23/11/2023 21:36

I work in the private sector. Me and the one other person who lives a 1.5 hour commute away either get a taxi home after or a hotel stay. I've done both.

This year I asked for a taxi and at first they said yes. The next day I received an email saying budgets this year wouldn't stretch to it so it isn't possible. So I'll need to travel in and I won't be able to relax because then I need to worry about travelling back again.

The trains are hellish enough just now never mind the week before Christmas. In all honesty I've been struggling lately due to a bereavement last month but thought at least I can show face then have the taxi home.

There's always the feeling you need to be seen going to these things. Would you suck it up even if it's pretty crap?

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 26/11/2023 18:23

I wouldn't be putting myself out like that for an Xmas do.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 26/11/2023 18:47

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 26/11/2023 06:13

Neither can I. It sounds very entitled to me. Either pay your own costs, or don't go.

Show quote history

I can't believe that people can't read the thread where the OP says very clearly that her employer has paid for transport before, and had offered this year but has now changed its mind,

Maybe READ the OP before you start throwing the "entitled" nonsense around? Just a thought, like.

Aspire5253 · 26/11/2023 19:03

Frankly you should get a grip. I’ve worked 40 years in the public sector and was never given as much as a sandwich at Christmas or any other time. Every doo I went to I paid for. People complaining about a free doo but they won’t pay for a taxi show a sense of self entitlement that is frankly obscene

MrsAzza · 26/11/2023 19:29

I work in the private sector and we’re usually allowed to expense a taxi home but this year we’re not due to budget constraints. The market has been hard this year and our company are having to make redundancies. I think you should count yourself lucky that you’ve got a Christmas party to go to. If you don’t want to pay to get home this year, don’t go. Or you can go to some of it and make your way home at a reasonable time on the train. It’s not really a big deal. I wouldn’t kick up a fuss that they’re not paying for a taxi for you. Maybe next year they will. At least you’ve got a job.

bakingmummy21 · 26/11/2023 20:17

I do a 90 min commute to the office 1-2 days a week post covid. Most of my team live closer and can’t seem to comprehend why I don’t want to hang around after work for drinks or dinner. Our work Xmas drinks this year falls on my DC’s birthday so I promptly booked the day off as leave and started making my apologies - best excuse ever!

GB81 · 26/11/2023 20:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 26/11/2023 20:19

Aspire5253 · 26/11/2023 19:03

Frankly you should get a grip. I’ve worked 40 years in the public sector and was never given as much as a sandwich at Christmas or any other time. Every doo I went to I paid for. People complaining about a free doo but they won’t pay for a taxi show a sense of self entitlement that is frankly obscene

Have you read the post? OP's company have paid in the past and said they would this year but changed their mind. Hardly entitled when there's w precedent

cansu · 26/11/2023 20:21

a xmas do is a social event. It would be very easy to simply not go and say you have either something else on or prefer not to travel home late at night. No one will bat an eye at this. If on the other hand you would like to go, you need to sort out transport or somewhere to stay at your own cost.

GB81 · 26/11/2023 20:21

Astridastro · 26/11/2023 17:39

I’m not going to my Christmas do this year, a number of reasons, the “committee” who organise it have conveniently organised it in their home town again. The food is always shit, especially the vegetarian option, it’s mass produced for maximum profit watered down soup, Christmas dinner, two roast potatoes, one chariot and a Brussels sprout, some mancky cheese thing from a freezer, followed by a tiny piece of a frozen cake. Then the “entertainment” some crappy band. The bar is usually £££s. And you’re charged £55 for this as it’s a party night!

Last year I had the joy of turning up alone and I wasn’t invited to anyone’s house for pre-drinks, had dirty looks when I walked in and a load of dirty looks from across the table too. Feck knows what I had done. The thought of going to this years no thank you.

I’d go just for the chariot!

Original poster
KeiraKnightley2 · 26/11/2023 23:26

I've decided I'm not going to the meal etc.

I'm going to go to the secret Santa/drinks but then leave - a friend/colleague said she'll leave at same time as her social battery is low this year for her own reasons.

So at least I'll be showing face. I did a test run this weekend as I went to a show then got transport home. It was stressful and this after one drink and not long into the social festive period. It definitely helped to make my mind up.

OP posts:
Cactusmad · 26/11/2023 23:32

That’s good, I hope you’re feeling less stressed now you have made a decision.

GracieE17 · 27/11/2023 14:58

We aren’t getting a Christmas event full stop, and not for the first time, and there is no way they would pay for travel even if they did put an event on. I think you’ve been very privileged to have had this in the past.

We even have to bring our own biscuits for a monthly team meeting and I work for a mid sized private corporation!

LeedsMum87 · 28/11/2023 19:38

Don’t bother going! You have more than a good excuse. So sorry about your loss. Look after yourself x

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