To not go to Christmas do due to this?

[KeiraKnightley2]

I work in the private sector. Me and the one other person who lives a 1.5 hour commute away either get a taxi home after or a hotel stay. I've done both.

This year I asked for a taxi and at first they said yes. The next day I received an email saying budgets this year wouldn't stretch to it so it isn't possible. So I'll need to travel in and I won't be able to relax because then I need to worry about travelling back again.

The trains are hellish enough just now never mind the week before Christmas. In all honesty I've been struggling lately due to a bereavement last month but thought at least I can show face then have the taxi home.

There's always the feeling you need to be seen going to these things. Would you suck it up even if it's pretty crap?

Would budgets stretch to one taxi that you can share?

If the business can't afford that, it's in trouble and you may need to think about looking for another job.

I wouldn’t go and tell them why

Tbh it's good that they know the reason you aren't going.

You're not bailing because you just can't be bothered but because their decision not to provide taxis/accommodation per previous years has made the journey inconvenient for you. You'd have gone had there been a taxi provided. I would probably say that explicitly so there's no misunderstanding.

Can't stand businesses which do the whole "not mandatory but expected" routine anyway. If I need to be somewhere outside working hours, tell me that (and pay me/let me expense it). If I don't, I don't expect any disapproval.

Yes make a big deal of it and make your manager feel awkward about a decision that has probably been made at a higher level. That's definitely the way go make friends and influence people.

I wouldn't go. Backtracking or not. Id explain why. It should be a treat not hectic...i travel 4 hours a day for work...youre right...dont want to do it over xmas period... especially if they've culled the financial backing for the due. Nope..id have a day meal night out with friend instead..your own party

There are lots of ways to decline including being petulant.

If you aren't going to go because of lack of free taxi, I'd frame it as"I understand that the company needs to cut back and can no longer provide a taxi home, I don't feel comfortable travelling on my own at that time of night, particularly when there have been so many train cancellations lately "

I dislike works Christmas dos, so there's no way I'd stay if they weren't paying for either travel or a hotel.!

I've think we put unnecessary pressure on our selves to join in, we think it'll harm our career, but in reality I've seen far more careers go down the drain during Christmas parties, than if you don't attend.

Just say you have a family commitment and can't stay past 6pm (or whenever your working day ends). I'd not mention financial constraints as that sounds a bit snarky.

the short answer is : it costs nothing to be pleasant and polite. We all get to choose our attitude, and a polite decline keeps management and colleagues on side for the other 364 days of the year.

The longer answer is:

.... because MN is made up of people who live in the real-world with real jobs and building real professional relationships are intelligent enough to know that declining politely shows good social intelligence and awareness of etiquette. If you're at all interested in a meaningful career, managing these situations adeptly can make a difference in building a well-rounded impression of who you are as a person.

I don’t really know why this is a conundrum. They normally enable you to go this year they can’t afford to so you don’t go. They can’t really complain can they?

I didn't go to last year's Christmas party and I'm not going this year. I like my colleagues but I spend a lot of time with them at work.
Also when I went to previous Christmas parties we always had to pay for transport, not sure why the company should.

@KeiraKnightley2

If you have to take public transport home, then your best reason for declining would be to state that as a woman, you are not willing to risk your personal safety travelling alone and you'd be unable to enjoy and relax at the event knowing you'd have to travel by yourself at night. There are so many high profile cases of women being attacked and sometimes losing their lives, that your employer will have a reality check and might even offer you the taxi fare to ensure they aren't responsible for a safety incident risk that was highlighted to them by you, their employee.

They have a duty of care, but it sounds like they aren't joining the dots.

My daughter works in the private sector and they pay for a hotel for things like Christmas parties. She 100% wouldn’t go if she had to pay for her own hotel/taxi. Just say you can’t afford it, unfortunately.

I would treat this as “I was lucky to have taxi/ hotel in the past”. It is very unusual for employers to pay for that if it is your usual office, and lots of people have a 90 min commute.
lots of companies are having redundancies - now is not the time to throw your toys out of the pram.
if you don’t want to go, don’t go.

Many companies will quite happily spend out for one team but then expect another team to pay for themselves.

IME the teams which are seen as bringing in the money (sales and marketing, accounts receivable) will get money lavished on them.

The teams which are seen as spending money (accounts payable, warehousing, manufacturing) will be expected to pay for themselves.

I worked in a firm for over 25 years and never once went to the arranged Xmas bashes. Just not my thing. It never affected my career or relationships with colleagues.

Our Christmas party budget is £10 per person. Any partner is full price. They wonder why the uptake is so small 🙄 I wouldn't necessarily want to socialise with my colleagues, but suck it up for once a year.

It's perfectly reasonable to decline the Christmas party. You have just had a bereavement and have a long journey home.

However, if you do feel that you are expected to attend, you could consider going into the office that day and stay for the secret Santa and champagne, but but then leave early to get the train home.

There has been a spate of companies announcing redundancies in recent weeks and most organisations are cutting back on Christmas party budgets this year. While it was great that the Christmas party budget stretched to cover your taxi home in the past, I don't think it is a reasonable expectation on your part that this continues to be covered every year.

Haven't read the full thread but can't you got for the 3pm drinks and leave before the meal? Then get a train home.

If declining looks bad at work I’d go with accepting, sounding enthusiastic then Covid/ trip to A&E/ stomach bug on the day. Oh how sad you are to miss it.

Go for the daytime bit and miss the meal. That's what I would do. Then you don't need to worry about trains as it's still early enough to get back at a sensible time.

I am actually paying for a hotel for my work do this year but that's because DH's work party is the same night so it's worth it for two of us. There's no way I'd do it otherwise though, I would either not go or leave early enough to get home at a sensible time. If that means leaving at 9pm, that's just the way it is. It depends where you live, but when you work in London most people live miles away.

If it doesn’t suit just don’t go. I do the same.

I wouldn't expect work to pay for a taxi. I used to work in the public sector and now I'm self employed so I've always had to pay for everything. An hour or so in a taxi would cost what? £80 upwards at a guess.

Yeah that's really going to fool everyone, particularly if you have been vocal about your disappointment that work is no longer paying for the taxi. There is someone in our office that does this and it's just annoying as we are expected to believe in her obvious untruths. Plus the company will have paid the £30 or whatever for a meal for a no show.

Far better to go for some of it and make an early departure, or don't go at all but don't make a big song and dance about it.

To be honest @daisychain01 this IS also part of it. I feel a bit on edge about the rowdy men on the train and/or the next leg of the journey.

To folk saying you should've got a job nearer - you must think good jobs are plentiful and easy to get! They aren't. I searched for a suitable job for a long time. My last local job was very toxic. Frankly, hybrid and remote have become the norm.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'll go for the drinks and secret Santa part then leave. The bereavement is still weighing on me and it's also keeping my social battery going all night - in addition to the fact they withdrew the offer, I won't relax and will worry about safety later on.