To not go to Christmas do due to this?

[KeiraKnightley2]

I work in the private sector. Me and the one other person who lives a 1.5 hour commute away either get a taxi home after or a hotel stay. I've done both.

This year I asked for a taxi and at first they said yes. The next day I received an email saying budgets this year wouldn't stretch to it so it isn't possible. So I'll need to travel in and I won't be able to relax because then I need to worry about travelling back again.

The trains are hellish enough just now never mind the week before Christmas. In all honesty I've been struggling lately due to a bereavement last month but thought at least I can show face then have the taxi home.

There's always the feeling you need to be seen going to these things. Would you suck it up even if it's pretty crap?

And the public sector is considered by some to be inefficient! Pay for your own Xmas party travel if you want to go.

Neither can I. It sounds very entitled to me. Either pay your own costs, or don't go.

Quite frankly I would have a lot of reservations about a company which was wasting so much money on transport to a work function! A company who chooses not to spend money on unnecessarry taxi rides for people to go to a work function sounds far more admirable to me.

Same. If I wanted to just go and "show my face" I'd drive. Just don't go, it's not the end of the world.

As it’s been arranged for a Friday, I’d do the but taking place during work hours and then leave. As long as you let the organiser know as soon as you can no one will mind. I wouldn’t give reasons either unless they ask. I bet there are others who would not to be spending a Friday evening near Xmas with colleagues.

Is there a colleague who lives closer who could put you up for the night after the do?

Don’t go, they’re massively overrated.

Don't go. If you need to be there then they will cover the expense. By not facilitating it they have told you that your presence is optional - your choice.

It’s totally your choice. If u want to just go to the work hours part if it’s in the same building. If not u have more choices not to go. , bereavement, travel safety, money. Money is tight for lots of people especially at this time of year. Do u have kids ? Maybe adding taxi fare makes it all too expensive. I wouldn’t be surprised if some who live closer can’t afford to go. Add kids to the mix and that’s money you may have already spent on them. For me it’s not the taxi u seem miffed at but the goal posts being moved .

Work aren't making you go, so it's fine that they aren't paying for transport. It's your choice to live where you do and work where you do, so totally up to you to work out and pay for your transport costs. If you don't actually want to go, then that's fine, don't go. If you do want to, or think that it would be useful to you to go, then suck it up and pay the transport costs because it's your choice to make the trip.

I have to pay for the meal out - £65 and no travel costs reimbursed to me. I thought this was standard and did not expect company to cover meal or cost incurred

Some firms I’ve been linked will pay for the meals and drinks and put on entertainment. Some pay just for the drinks and usually carnage ensued. Had staff falling backwards down stairs after multiple doubles. Not every do is good for the career. Lots of people live miles away as remote working is popular. On the Monday after you may find u are not the only no show. Don’t spend ur time worrying ur colleagues may be understanding. Any way it may be snowing by then.

My company has nearly always paid for Christmas parties and taxis. The one year we were expected to pay for the meal ourselves I didn't go - no way was I spending money on something I didn't want to do!

Ours sounds the same, I basically go and have the meal and then leave!

Agree if they usually fork out then it’s a pain if they don’t. Would you be in work that day though anyway? ( you said secret Santa at 3?) in which case you could just stay on a bit and no different to commuting normally? Could someone pick you up? Do you know anyone well enough to stay nearby ? I think grief can make things look less appealing/‘more of a hassle. If you think you might enjoy it I’d treat yourself to a night in a hotel/ ask a friend to collect earlier and contribute to petrol costs etc. However if it’s a “ should be seen at” but you really don’t enjoy these things and loathe the thought of it I’d simply decline and be open that you disagree with them withdrawing £ for journey home. Sometimes you have to value yourself and not just bow to expectations!!

Can't tell if you're referring to me or not. If so, I run a limited company and do this every year for my employees, backed by my accountant. All the information about it is available online on the govt website.

Not always The DWP tend to have rules on how far you can travel to work. You have no idea whether it was the OPs choice or not.

Jesus are these people employers or p*mps. Ridiculous

I wouldnt sweat it. Just say your budget also won't allow it and have a nice night at home..
I hate these things and beng forced to do team building.. my partner also gives his Christmas do a miss 🤣

Its ridiculous and tbh i was not happy. .nor 2 of my work colleagues. I emailed manager and said why is it compulsory for fancy dress?.
If compulsory, is fancy dress hire cost reimbursed?.
"No its not reimbursed due to budgets. There is half bottle wine (or non alcohol wine) to each employee though to kick the celebrations off!. Lets get into the spirit!

i was 😒 but 😂...no chance...so few of us have made other arrangements elsewhere and rsvp'ed a resounding no. Crap isn't it?

Mine do 🤷‍♀️ in fact as I live over 200 miles away I get put up for 2 nights.

Our boss used to pay for a meal out for us all and made sure we got a taxi home. Went to one... realised I don't like socialising with colleagues really, not been again. They stopped in covid. No one is calling for a restart.

Would just not go.

I’m not going to my Christmas do this year, a number of reasons, the “committee” who organise it have conveniently organised it in their home town again. The food is always shit, especially the vegetarian option, it’s mass produced for maximum profit watered down soup, Christmas dinner, two roast potatoes, one chariot and a Brussels sprout, some mancky cheese thing from a freezer, followed by a tiny piece of a frozen cake. Then the “entertainment” some crappy band. The bar is usually £££s. And you’re charged £55 for this as it’s a party night!

Last year I had the joy of turning up alone and I wasn’t invited to anyone’s house for pre-drinks, had dirty looks when I walked in and a load of dirty looks from across the table too. Feck knows what I had done. The thought of going to this years no thank you.

If it were me, I wouldn't go to any "work do" or anything else I didn't want to go to.

I don't really understand the whole keeping up appearances thing.

What's wrong with being authentic and doing what is best for yourself when it comes to insignificant stuff like this? why waste time doing things to appear a certain way to people, especially at work.

It's stuff like this that older people on their death beds say they regret wasting their time and energy either doing or worrying about. Life is short, do what makes YOU happy, (obviously not unless what makes you happy is illegal/hurts you or others 😅).
Enjoy life, don't waste time or energy stressing about stuff that does not matter like work parties.

Spend your time & energy on the people and things that are meaningful to you & you'll look back on with a smile.

I have always worked in the public sector and Christmas nights out were always voluntary but everyone paid for themselves and a hotel or taxi would have been unthinkable as it would have come from the public purse. I understand that if the event is funded from company profits or seen as a thank you to staff, there may be an expectation to attend but in your situation I would just say no, explaining that travel home will be difficult and having been recently bereaved, this will be a different/ difficult Christmas.