To not go to Christmas do due to this?

[KeiraKnightley2]

I work in the private sector. Me and the one other person who lives a 1.5 hour commute away either get a taxi home after or a hotel stay. I've done both.

This year I asked for a taxi and at first they said yes. The next day I received an email saying budgets this year wouldn't stretch to it so it isn't possible. So I'll need to travel in and I won't be able to relax because then I need to worry about travelling back again.

The trains are hellish enough just now never mind the week before Christmas. In all honesty I've been struggling lately due to a bereavement last month but thought at least I can show face then have the taxi home.

There's always the feeling you need to be seen going to these things. Would you suck it up even if it's pretty crap?

In that case I'd stay til 6pm and then go home on the basis they aren't paying you to be there and you need to get home comfortably on public transport.

I don't think it's unreasonable for you to expect this as your company has set the precedent previous years but I also think it's a really questionable company policy. Do they expense the travel of your colleagues that live closer? If not I'd be pretty miffed if I worked with you as you're getting rewarded just for living further away. Maybe someone high up in the company has realised it's not a good look? I would just be pleased you got a good deal previous years and skip this year if you don't fancy it. As you've said you're having a tough time at the moment so don't feel pressured to go.

Yeah @YellowRibbon710 - that's an option I'll consider.

Given your set of circumstances this year, I’d just decline. If asked give lack of taxi / hotel as a reason. I totally get it. No one will remember you didnt go after Xmas.

But her expectation was reasonable as they have done so in the past. I have a few friends whose companies who have do this, moreso in recent years after rise of remote work.

OP wasn't even asking if she was unreasonable to have this expectation, she was asking if she is unreasonable to not go in light of the company's change in stance.

Id just do the secret Santa and champagne bit and then go home. Surely they can’t mind that?

Nobody has to go to a social event, and work Xnas "dos" are utterly grim. Just don't go.

I'm not going to my work Christmas do because we have to pay for it all ourselves and I can't afford it!

If you say you don't have the money for a taxi or hotel there's not much they can do if they won't pay for it, is there?

It’s crap of them to say yes then say no by email, but I honestly think you are unreasonable to expect your travel costs to parties to always be paid by your employer because you obviously chose where to live and work. You’ve now come to expect it and don’t want to attend a party if you have to pay for a taxi home, rather than always having seen it as a generous thing they didn’t actually have to do. Presumably you get free drinks and food at the party?

If you don’t want to go just decline. People will understand. No one wants a 1.5 hour drunken trip home.

Our Christmas ‘party’ (team meeting plus cheap meal out and a Premier Inn as we’re a remote, spread out team) has been cancelled. The business isn’t making a tonne of money, but every other department recognise that morale is important and people have been working their backsides off in a really tough year. Our boss thinks it will make her look good to save the money, but actually nobody will notice.

If it was never on the table it wouldn’t be as bad, but like your taxi/hotel it’s when something is taken away that it really makes you feel unappreciated.

Private sector worker here, also live 1.5 hours from home. My do starts at 3, but I’ll be leaving at 9pm to get a train home. Not the last available train, but a reasonably timed one so I’m in before 11pm and there’s wiggle room in case of train issues.

just be an adult and take responsibility for yourself, I guess? Does it suck that you can’t stay out all hours and drink? Sure. But you (and I) chose to live that far away, so it’s on me to deal with my own cross to bear.

sorry but I do think YABU.

@BrightGreenMoonBuggy yes I get free drinks and food at the party.

But frankly I don't even feel like drinking for once. Since the bereavement I've gone off it.

That's it @Jl2014 - even last night's train I couldn't get a seat/had to stand, god knows for a Friday before Xmas. Leaning towards just declining...

It is quite normal in the private sector. If my employer had paid for it the previous years, yes I would expect it.

Crikey @Letsnotargue whole thing cancelled?! That's worse. Really bad for morale.

Just go for the first bit and leave before the meal. If you actually wanted to go your could share a hotel room with the other colleague who lives far away bit it sounds like you really don’t want to go.

I dont understand big lavish work Christmas dos, especially when the staff are not really interested. I worked for a large corporate company years ago and helped to arrange the celebrations for one of the center's. Staff went but Im honestly not sure many really enjoyed it (unless they were single and ready to mingle). Now I work in a very small company and we dont do any of this big expensive show off celebrations, often its a side room in a local pub with some food or a lowkey meal, all drinks travel etc are paid for (as they are generally cheap) and I can honestly say all the staff have a good time and appreciate it more. Everyone is laughing all night and generally being very jolly.

I wouldnt do a 1.5hr 2 way trip for a night out, Hotel or dont go.

I’d just tell them that unfortunately budgets won’t stretch to paying for your own taxi this year and not go

If your career matters it will matter that you go.

Make a fuss about it. But if the worse comes to the worst can you stay somewhere, if you really can’t then just head off at nine.

It’s completely normal for employers to do this - not to be nice especially, but because they think being there is part of your job.

Could you slip off after champagne/secret santa? People will remember you were there for a bit. I think it's incredibly shitty to remove the offer. My small org pays for those outside London's hotels for the Xmas party. Much more fair.

I live similar distance from my work. Private company. They have never paid for a taxi or a hotel.

I used to go to Christmas functions as enjoyed them and a few of us who lived a good distance away would book a hotel. Now I don't go as I'm not fussed.

Just don't go if you don't want to.

Just tell them you are prioritising finances this year.. and a works 'do' doesn't even make the list.

Don't go. They have a duty of care. Have they not organised a day's work the following day so people can legitimately stay over?

Nope @Coffeeandchristmascake they have also made it on a Friday night...which is not the mandatory day we all need to be in the office.