Highly sensitive empath burn out

[Keepingscore]

So, this is me and looking for opinions on how to manage this trait, especially at work. I work in the charity sector so whilst being empathic and a degree of sensitivity is good when supporting our users and their families it isn't so good working in a toxic team culture, my team members do not share my sensitivity or empathic approach.

It affects me to the point where I am not able to work in a room where there is a lot of negativity, gossip and narcissim. I find it draining. I appreciate we can't all work in positive environments but how do I get over this? it is getting me down and I am regularly burnt out.

This has always been an issue for me so indeed the less people I work with in a team or office the better i am. However this is not always possible, at least not in my field of work. I have pretty good boundaries and don't take on more work than is necessary, I look after my needs and generally say No when I don't want to do something.

Is there anybody who is also an empath/highly sensitive who can share some nuggets of wisdom?

I used to have a friend who said she was soooo sensitive that everything was harder for her. Seemed to be because she would openly cry whereas I felt things just as deeply but kept my feelings private. She also definitely felt her ‘sensitivity’ made her a better person. Nope. Just someone who made everything all about her.

I'm not trying to pick a fight, merely wondering if you're qualified to make the assertion you made.
Also my reference to insult was the use of your little emojis in your 'question'.

As I’ve said (and is being proven more and more on this thread), it’s likely someone who believes themselves to be an empath is simply just autistic. And as definitely been proven by one or two here, they cannot seem to understand the emotional response factor of their autism. It is not a separate entity of being ‘an empath’, it’s still just autistic traits of emotional processing difficulties.

Maybe you need more crystals… 🤔

It's almost a type of self harming behaviour to work in the field you are in if you are so affected by others emotions. I certainly wouldn't see it as a plus - for you or the people you support. See also high levels of burnout in other caring professions that attract people who can't boundary their emotions but work in a highly stressful environment.

Try accountancy, book keeping, librarianship, science, anything with less emotional inputs.

I mean I don't think 'empaths' are a thing (unless, as some one said, they are on Star Trek) but I am empathetic - and honestly OP you need to toughen up that skin asap.

I care very much about the people I work with and support, it's a passion that keeps me in my job, but I work in a multi agency way and often come across people who care a lot less or who just disagree with me! You have to learn to work with others including those who have different views.

You also need (in many cases within charity/social work) to drop the hero complex - you just can't save/help everyone the most you can probably do is make a tiny difference to a shit life - you make that difference as impactful as possible but never imagine you can solve everything or save everyone, not matter how empathetic you are - that's where the burn out lies.

As an 'empath' I am surprised you aren't more tuned into your co workers feelings and experiences - because they sound cynical and burnt out as well - yet to you they are all 'bad people' and you are 'the good' one - that's not healthy.

doesnt change that im an empath

What do you believe that being an Empath means?

Listen to positive / upbeat / relaxing tunes all day (if possible). Get out and have a walk in your dinner hour.

Most very sensitive people (incl empaths in that if you believe they exist) have to force themselves to learn how be less sensitive/turn off, because they've seen what happens when they don't. Different things work for different people, and of course we all develop coping strategies to some extent.

I've always been of the belief that empaths are just neurodivergent.

Either through past trauma or through autism and being hyper empathetic.

In which case I would treat the burnout the same way I would treat autistic burnout, and take the same steps to preventing it in future. If you haven't considered it before I would consider seeking a diagnosis even if the wait lists are long in your area, just so you can get your medical letter to say you are on the wait list as evidence for work.

First, time off. Second, loop ear plugs. Third, reasonable adjustment request where you ask for additional breaks when you're overwhelmed, perhaps work in a smaller team, different part of the office, or more work from home time, or even shorter hours.

You need to distance yourself away from the cause of the negativity.

It may be that the line of work you are in inhibits you from distancing yourself from it so I would consider a new line of work in that instance, and look at retraining options.

Just had my flu jab, my 5th Covid jab and all my babies are fully vaxxed

I once accidentally touched someone's crystals they'd left in shared kitchen at halls, of course they had a chilled, relaxed reaction...

I've only ever encountered one person who labelled themself an 'empath' and, in common with the experiences of PP's, she was a pompous pain in the arse. She was incredibly self piteous (thus habitually unhappy) and judgemental (the antithesis of empathy!).

Most of us have the odd scuzzy aspect to our character, life is easier when you accept that without judgement.

I’m good thanks 💅🏻

Suggesting a person may be autistic, if done in a sensitive way, is a lot more helpful and kind than suggesting they are a narcissist. I don't think all hsp/empaths are necessarily autistic, but there is definitely overlap in the issues that can arise.

Fascinating. Out of interest OP do you have an overbearing mother?

How do you get diagnosed with being an 'empath' or is it a realisation? Not being sarkey genuinely interested.

Every is awful OP, yourself included. Welcome to humanity!

Here’s some reading for you

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-an-empath#crowds

im not wasting my time on someone who doesn’t think it exists 💁🏻‍♂️

Fuck me the nasty ones are out in full force tonight!
I avoid drama because it brings me down and drains me, i call these people energy vampires.

You don’t get diagnosed with it, it’s a realisation. People are drawn to you, you help them, you feel feelings around people, crowded spaces are hard, it’s hard to explain

Obviously, you essentially assaulted their chakra and therefore ruined any chance of them being a tree for the day. Or some shit like that.

Right!

this is one of those if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it posts

but of course it’s Mumsnet, where the worst (and sometimes the best) of people are commenting.