Highly sensitive empath burn out

[Keepingscore]

So, this is me and looking for opinions on how to manage this trait, especially at work. I work in the charity sector so whilst being empathic and a degree of sensitivity is good when supporting our users and their families it isn't so good working in a toxic team culture, my team members do not share my sensitivity or empathic approach.

It affects me to the point where I am not able to work in a room where there is a lot of negativity, gossip and narcissim. I find it draining. I appreciate we can't all work in positive environments but how do I get over this? it is getting me down and I am regularly burnt out.

This has always been an issue for me so indeed the less people I work with in a team or office the better i am. However this is not always possible, at least not in my field of work. I have pretty good boundaries and don't take on more work than is necessary, I look after my needs and generally say No when I don't want to do something.

Is there anybody who is also an empath/highly sensitive who can share some nuggets of wisdom?

I think that Venn diagram would have a large crossover.

It’s quite narcissistic to describe yourself as an empath.
If you don’t like your colleagues maybe it would be best to leave

In my option they aren’t empaths because it is a made up thing. I agree some people who consider themselves to be empaths are actually narcissistic. Some are just more sensitive or have difficulty regulating emotions. Some are highly suggestible and spend too much time on tik tok.

I do symathise OP as someone who knows I am (gulp) sensitive. I also tend to be an emotional sponge and am hyper vigilant as a result (grew up with chaotic sibling). Wouldn’t call mysef an empath though. I found CBT useful and also Pete Walker’s ‘CPTS - From Surviving to Thriving’. You can teach yourself how to cultivate boundaries and learn techniques for grounding yourself and how to soothe yourself in healthy ways. I work from home now and find that far less stressful. Good luck.

Omg, unless you can read the mind of a passing Klingon ship and tell the captain to put up the shields in advance of an attack - you are not an Empath.

It seems like nowadays almost everyone feels the need to stick a label on themselves to show how different and special they are. Not so long ago nobody had time for all this self-indulgent navel gazing.

A true empath would understand the feelings of those making nasty comments instead of choosing to ignore them.

Empaths and narcissists make it about themselves
It's like the far left and the far right. Hard to tell the difference

Empath here!

I know exactly what you mean, I find self care helps, plus trying to tune out & meditation! Get some crystals for your desk ❤️

https://www.theholistichamper.co.uk/blog/empath-protection-crystals#

‘Empaths’ in my experience are either undiagnosed autistic and therefore think feeling intense emotions is something woo, or borderline narcissists. Either way, it sounds like you need to visit your GP or a therapist to root out why you think you feeling feelings makes you special.

Ah, of course the charlatans are money making off people who think they’re special…

Fuck me.

Doesn't seem that you're that much of an empath then if you can simply switch off to opinions that don't suit you.

I disagree. I think quite a few of the comments on this thread are unnecessarily unkind in their assumptions about the OP. There are helpful or balanced comments too, of course, but quite a number are expressing negative views of people who see themselves as "empaths."

Yep, page one of the replies are exactly as I would expect mumsnetters to react to somebody saying they are a HSP/Empath.

This isn't the forum to talk about this really, people on MN just don't get it and understand as a rule.

You'll have more luck if you search Facebook for relevant groups.

Assuming you feel you find your work fulfilling and want to manage the stimuli in the short term:

Something I've found helpful have been mediation and sensory things: I keep silencers on (not the guns...) my earphones nearby. It's not a chatty office but I do like to keep my WFH habits when I'm in the office.

Other folk that I've learnt things from are Embodied Astrology Renee Sills who gives great guidance, visualisations and movement.
Here's one example (pretty grounding)

Another go to to help me keep my energy close is this 10 minute morning meditation

Giving yourself lots of space to break and move out of the space you are in - if you are a sensory person earphones, calming peppermint spritz, affirmations etc. All can help.

Longer term, maybe assess what the triggers are and if these are manageable, or movable for you. Have you felt like this in previous workspaces / teams? Otherwise what would the alternative be.

Actually, if someone really feels they are an empath or even very sensitive, then they HAVE to develop strategies which protect them from absorbing so much of everyone else's energy that they burn out and simply cannot function.

I also think there's been unnecessary unkindness on here - whether OP truly is an empath, highly sensitive or something else, for whatever reasons, she's clearly asking for advice and not trying to be superior in any way.

well, you’re clearly not empathetic at all.

maybe you need a crystal? 🥰

Absolutely this

Yea, don’t listen to critical thinking, find an echo chamber for your belief system rather than get some real help. Oh and spend £20 on some pretty stones that do absolutely fuck all.

See herein lies the problem. You've gone straight to 'everyone's being mean to me' rather than engaging with the points being made. Some people have been blunt but nobody's been nasty that I can see.
That's being 'highly sensitive' but not particularly 'empathetic'. They are not the same.
This is a 'you' problem, not a 'them' problem
I'm inclined to agree. It mirrors my experience of self-professed empaths as being permanently in victim mode.

I think PP make valid points about how many empaths are reimagining their poor emotional regulation as being an 'empath'. It's probably more comforting to consider oneself special, extra caring and super in tune and not like the ordinary people than it is to acknowledge poor emotional boundaries and/or a tendency to place oneself in permanent victim mode where nobody understands how hard it is being special.

If OP's work environment is actually toxic, she needs to leave. That's no different to anyone else who is hating working in a toxic environment.

It might be worth speaking to someone professionally though to get to the bottom of why any negativity in the workplace prompts such an intense response because otherwise this is going to follow OP in many workplaces.

No thanks

i don’t eat goose food

I used to think I was an empath.

Turns out I had ASD (diagnosed)

Have a read around it, especially presentation in females.

I am also ASD.

still an empath