This is my first post on MN after being a long term reader…I thought it’d be the best place to come for some anonymous opinion 🙂
The situation is that having got divorced three years ago, I met my new partner nearly 2 years ago.
I am in my early 40s, he is 10 years older and we both have no children. I am divorced, finances split and both myself and my ex have moved on and have no contact with each other.
My partner is divorced, but has not come to an agreement around finances yet. He has no contact with his ex, save through a solicitor.
He has made a number of offers to settle financially, all of which have been declined.
He mentioned casually that he has now offered the entirety of the 3 houses they jointly own (all are rented) He has no pension as these houses were meant to be the pension. Everything else jointly owned has already been handed to the ex (who also has no children and does work)
Even his solicitor said this was ludicrous and not to offer anywhere near this. If accepted, it would leave him with nothing and starting again. He says he has done this as he wants to move on with life without the constant drag of this not being settled. I’m not sure why he doesn’t just go to court, but he insists he doesn’t want that.
Having been with him nearly two years, I don’t know how I feel about this. It seems a little like he is throwing away any future and only considering his past.
We do both have well paid jobs, and I own my own place, so we technically do have a chance of building something back up again, but I guess I just want some opinions if I am being unreasonable to think he should discuss this with me before offering away everything he has, and the chance of a secure future?
Maybe I just need to withdraw a little from the relationship until it’s sorted out? It’s a shame as we get on so well, he is a lovely kind man who is trustworthy and caring but I just feel odd about offering your whole life without considering a future life with a partner - particularly as this was his pension?