New job. Would you leave over this?

[Muffins34]

Just wanting other peoples opinions on this. I am only a few weeks into a new role but already considering handing my notice in over this.

Just some general information;

I work within the finance department. Very small team- myself, Finance Director (who I report to) and financial controller. Both the FC and FD working remotely from home most of the time, where as I am full time office based (this was my choice I prefer being out away from home)

Also to add that I am not junior in my role, I’m qualified and have worked this position within other companies for 7 years now. I am early 30s but very baby faced and look young for my age (this I believe is relevant to the issues I’m experiencing)

As I sit alone in another part of the office away from others, and my superiors work remotely, there is one woman in particular (manager in another department) who constantly monitors my movements and feels the need to report back to my manager. This is happening 3 times a week. I do not work with her, we have never so much as exchanged an email, nor do I anticipate that we’d have to in the future. My work does not impact her, or her team. Therefor my role and movements should be of absolutely no concern to her.

Would also like to add this woman walks past my desk throughout the day, used the kitchen the same time as me, and has never said a word to me.

Examples are as follows;

• I took a phone call on my work mobile phone. It was highly important, my boss had been asking me to chase this matter up with the person who had called me. Due to the confidential nature of the call (it was relating to a severance package for an employee who had recently been dismissed due to gross misconduct) I walked into my boss’s office to speak on the phone with said person. (My boss had previously told me to use his office to take all calls of a confidential nature. I was also not sat at his desk, I was sat on the table/chair next to his desk, where visitors would usually sit when meeting with him) Manager from the other department saw me in there and called my boss to inform him I was using his office.
• On the Friday I wore jeans with a (small) rip on the knee on one of the legs. Lady manager informed my boss and referred him to our company’s policy which states no ripped jeans.
• Our company’s bank branch is in another town 15-20 minutes away, my boss asked me to visit the branch. I told him I actually drive through the town and past the bank on the drive to work, and I’ll pop in first thing in the morning on the way to work. Great, he said. As I visited the bank in the morning and arrived 40 minutes after my usual start time, lady manager rung my boss.
• I’m slim but quite large chested for my size, which makes my breasts more noticeable. Lady manager informed my boss she could see down my buttoned shirt when she walked past my desk.
• I’m currently moving house. The movers called me at my desk, I answered the call to inform them I’d be finishing work at X time, and to please be at my home for Y time. Manager informed my boss I was taking personal calls at my desk.
• If I go 5 minutes over my 30 minute lunch break, she will inform my boss

I know my boss is not asking her to monitor me. He finds it almost as annoying as I do, tells me she’s been at the company for over 20 years, she’s well thought of by the higher ups because of that, she’s stuck in her ways, and so on. He almost takes humour in it.

This lady is considerably older than me (50s). As mentioned previously I’m very young looking for my age, I do not have a ‘mature’ face. I suspect as I am young enough to be her daughter that she feels she has a right to treat me almost as if I’m child. (Note I do not think all women in their 50s think this way, I’ve never experienced this in any of my previous companies)

The last time the issue was discussed with my boss I lost my patience slightly and told him I don’t appreciate feeling like I’m being watched constantly, and that my movements are non of her concern whatsoever. It’s getting to the point now where I am also resenting him for entertaining it.

Would you leave your current role over this?

Tell your boss (in writing) that what this woman is doing is classed as harassment in the workplace, and unless he deals with it as soon as possible, you will be raising a formal grievance.

Do you have an HR dept?

OP, you do nothing. Your manager is aware and should be reporting her to her manager.

Don't leave yet but inform your manager that if she doesn’t stop this you will consider going to HR and would expect his support.

If she's not your boss just tell her to back off?

Because my boss told me to just ignore her, said she likes throwing her weight away. Feeling resentful over it to be honest.

i think I would have to bring it up again with your boss and say that you understand that he finds it borderline amusing but you resent how she is treating you and that you cannot continue like this and will have to speak to her and do you have his support?

Although I’m also a petty bitch and would be tempted to loudly shout across the office to her about my every single movement:

”Just going for a piss, Linda! That ok with you? Make sure you let Dave know!”

”Linda, just using Dave’s office to phone a client, he said it was ok! That alright with you?”

”Sorry I’m late, Linda, there was loads of traffic this morning! When you inevitably ring Dave in a minute to let him know, can you ask him to look over that report I sent him yesterday? Cheers, love!”

Etc

I'd hate this being spied on.

I'd be winding her up every chance I could with bizarre things she could tattle on.

Other than that, can you sit somewhere away from her?

Make a complaint, this is harassment and if you just leave she will no doubt continue to think her behavioir is acceptable and do it to the next person.

I think you’re absolutely justified and right to be angry about this OP.

But before you give up on the job and resign surely it’s worth taking it up with your manager as a serious grievance? And if that doesn’t go anywhere, then consider moving to a new company hopefully without the sexist, ageist, patronising staff member.

😂😂😂😂😂

Don’t tempt me!!

1. Inform your manager in writing that she is making you uncomfortable and ask if anything can be done or if this is what to expect by working for this organisation.

1. Start looking for other jobs, with your experience I can imagine you are in demand.

No, I would leave over this. I would either inform HR, confront the lady directly, or do what @uuughhhshsh suggested. Depending on what mood I was in how well I feel these options would land

Raise a grievance in writing.
Put feelers out for another job in the meantime. It doesn't sound like anything will change any time soon.

Don’t leave. Then she’ll have “won”! Just ignore, ask boss to have a word with her as it’s making it difficult to do your job to your fullest capability…or something.

He’s telling you every time? If so he’s an idiot.

So is your boss telling you that she is telling him?

Is that's the case he needs to stop telling you and deal with it

How so you know she is doing this? If your boss said ignore, he needs to stop telling you what she's saying.

Your manager is avoiding conflict here as it does impact him. he finds it amusing as he does not have to deal with it. Either fight fire with fire - ask her if she knows what the harassment policy is for your company. Or better still get a copy and send it to her.

At the end of the day it is your boss who is taking the calls so the buck stops with him. I find a bit of a tantrum helps at this point and reminder that harassment is not allowed.

Do not leave. Make a formal letter of complaint, not email or phone call. Its harassment. Or start reporting her to her boss.

Nobody should have to put up with this but it is your boss’s responsibility to sort it out.

She sounds like an absolute nightmare and it is so hard to stand up to the “office police” - it really has to be your manager who sorts it out. many offices have an officious busybody no one can stand but once put in their box they may hate you forever but that will usually shut them up (or cause them to seek a vicious revenge).

At the very least why can’t she just gently take you aside and say, “hey just to mention our HR get properly wound up if we don’t comply with the office dress code - if your manager didn’t think to send you a copy, give me a shout and I’ll forward it on you you.”

Your boss should tell her to stop doing this.

@Muffins34
@Teddleshon

Which is easily done, he just needs to keep HIS gob shut. It's HIM telling you (op) , not her!

other than Mrs Gobby how are you enjoying the job?

You could always point out to HER boss that she is so fucking busy keeping tabs on you and reporting on you to your boss that she cannot possibly be doing her own job properly!

Honestly this would do my head in!

I'd never ever leave a job I liked over a jumped-up twit like this. Tell your boss he needs to deal with it, because its ridiculous.

I would be tempted to have a bit of fun at her expense, though...