New job. Would you leave over this?

[Muffins34]

Just wanting other peoples opinions on this. I am only a few weeks into a new role but already considering handing my notice in over this.

Just some general information;

I work within the finance department. Very small team- myself, Finance Director (who I report to) and financial controller. Both the FC and FD working remotely from home most of the time, where as I am full time office based (this was my choice I prefer being out away from home)

Also to add that I am not junior in my role, I’m qualified and have worked this position within other companies for 7 years now. I am early 30s but very baby faced and look young for my age (this I believe is relevant to the issues I’m experiencing)

As I sit alone in another part of the office away from others, and my superiors work remotely, there is one woman in particular (manager in another department) who constantly monitors my movements and feels the need to report back to my manager. This is happening 3 times a week. I do not work with her, we have never so much as exchanged an email, nor do I anticipate that we’d have to in the future. My work does not impact her, or her team. Therefor my role and movements should be of absolutely no concern to her.

Would also like to add this woman walks past my desk throughout the day, used the kitchen the same time as me, and has never said a word to me.

Examples are as follows;

• I took a phone call on my work mobile phone. It was highly important, my boss had been asking me to chase this matter up with the person who had called me. Due to the confidential nature of the call (it was relating to a severance package for an employee who had recently been dismissed due to gross misconduct) I walked into my boss’s office to speak on the phone with said person. (My boss had previously told me to use his office to take all calls of a confidential nature. I was also not sat at his desk, I was sat on the table/chair next to his desk, where visitors would usually sit when meeting with him) Manager from the other department saw me in there and called my boss to inform him I was using his office.
• On the Friday I wore jeans with a (small) rip on the knee on one of the legs. Lady manager informed my boss and referred him to our company’s policy which states no ripped jeans.
• Our company’s bank branch is in another town 15-20 minutes away, my boss asked me to visit the branch. I told him I actually drive through the town and past the bank on the drive to work, and I’ll pop in first thing in the morning on the way to work. Great, he said. As I visited the bank in the morning and arrived 40 minutes after my usual start time, lady manager rung my boss.
• I’m slim but quite large chested for my size, which makes my breasts more noticeable. Lady manager informed my boss she could see down my buttoned shirt when she walked past my desk.
• I’m currently moving house. The movers called me at my desk, I answered the call to inform them I’d be finishing work at X time, and to please be at my home for Y time. Manager informed my boss I was taking personal calls at my desk.
• If I go 5 minutes over my 30 minute lunch break, she will inform my boss

I know my boss is not asking her to monitor me. He finds it almost as annoying as I do, tells me she’s been at the company for over 20 years, she’s well thought of by the higher ups because of that, she’s stuck in her ways, and so on. He almost takes humour in it.

This lady is considerably older than me (50s). As mentioned previously I’m very young looking for my age, I do not have a ‘mature’ face. I suspect as I am young enough to be her daughter that she feels she has a right to treat me almost as if I’m child. (Note I do not think all women in their 50s think this way, I’ve never experienced this in any of my previous companies)

The last time the issue was discussed with my boss I lost my patience slightly and told him I don’t appreciate feeling like I’m being watched constantly, and that my movements are non of her concern whatsoever. It’s getting to the point now where I am also resenting him for entertaining it.

Would you leave your current role over this?

Your manager needs to tell her to stop sending reports on your movements as it isn't appropriate and could be conveyed as workplace bullying.

Weird that she's never spoken to you, even when you were both in the kitchen together. I once got told I wasn't committed by a colleague when I was five minutes late 🙄. Ask your manager not to tell you she's reporting on you unless he has an issue or have a laugh about it with him.

I don't understand why your boss isn't just A. Humouring her and letting her "reports" go in one ear and out the other, without even telling you.
Or B. Telling her to butt out.

He's just making the situation worse by feeding all her tittle tattle back to you.

Send an email to your boss about this woman harassing you so it’s documented you have mentioned it to him. Then contact HR by email, I would hope any decent company would look into this harassment.
Your boss’s attitude of ‘she just like to throw her weight away’ is not good enough! He is dismissing her actions to avoid any conflict which doesn’t help you in any way it just allows her to carry on harassing/bullying you

I wonder if OP's boss isn't in a position to push back, given that she's been there a long time and has probably been playing the politics game that whole time.

Strikes me that you need to do something that can't be ignored - like going straight to HR and a) asking if this is standard practice (and if so, why is "monitoring other employees" not in the employee handbook), and b) put in a harassment complaint against her - say that you're feeling bullied specifically, and everybody will be involved.

I agree wholeheartedly. Firstly he should be closing this down and secondly he most certainly should not be telling you the tales she’s telling him.

I think you have to make it perfectly clear to him and her that it’s unacceptable behaviour which it is.

If nothing changes after that then reconsider how you deal with this or not.

It’s petty, unprofessional and you are an experienced member of staff who shouldn’t be subjected to this nonsense. In fact I think I would say exactly that to your boss.

Don’t work in-the office, if you don’t want to work at home is there another space you can workout of? Your boss & other person probably don’t work in the office because of her.

Honestly, I think this is what you need to do. Vocalise every single action you do. Write it all down, at the end of the day pass the paper to her and say, "I've written down all my movements for the day just to make your tattle telling easier". Then write things like "11am - changed tampon, 12pm - farted, 12.30pm felt hungry, 1pm - bought lunch (2 sandwiches with ham, mayo, lettuce, tomato and cucumber), 1 packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps, diet coke and a penguin), 1.30pm - sat down at desk, 1.31pm - turned on computer...".

It's not her age or your age.

It's her as a person. Women in their fifties have people in their offices like that as well.

Lady manager is a cunt.

Head says this is absolutely harassment and you should say to your boss you are ready to report her to HR if her shit continues.

Hearts says next time she calls your boss you tell her she’s a pain in the arse to her face, and then when she calls your boss you lie and say you did no such thing.

Secret option no. 3, work from home like the rest of your department. I know you don’t like it so much but it’s better than feeling like you’re being watched.

There is actually some validity to this.

Myself and a colleague were micromanaged by our team lead and the only tactic to ever work was to play her at her own game. Ask for permission to go to the loo, tell her every little detail of what you are doing "going into the office to call X client about Y and expect it to take 7 minutes", one of my faves was putting my OOO on when I went for lunch. Sometimes she'd ask why I put my OOO on at lunch time and I'd just smile and say "just in case anything important comes in" (it never did). I used to overshare about any illnesses if I was ever off (explosive diarrhoea and liquid vomiting) and over explain any ad hoc appointments that may warrant a late start or early finish.... even though I'd make up the time. She knew all about my cats being neutered and my smear test.

She micromanaged our annual leave - we had an online booking system but she used to ask us to run our dates by her beforehand, so I used to send her a whole bunch of dates (as did my colleague after we'd discussed it with each other) and we'd let her wade through the dates and try to work out the best way to ensure continuous cover as she was FT and we were PT.

She used to jump in on emails and correct me / undermine me / say something different (internally and to clients) but it was all very subtle so I started sending her draft emails before I sent them out for her 'approval'.

It was all very petty and she did eventually back off a bit as we literally inundated her with pointless drivel 90% of the time. She thankfully left 2 years ago and we now have the complete opposite. Manager is so hands off we can go weeks without any interaction. Its wonderful.

Keep a diary and hand it in every month. This is workplace bullying. She sounds jealous of you. Total jobsworth!

Why is your boss even telling you about this? He should be standing up for you and shutting this down, so that you never even need to know about it.

I mean she sounds nuts, but she's clearly known for nutty behaviour. Why he is so easily cowed by her, to the point of risking a good employee walking away, I don't understand.

Tell him this, and if he doesn't see sense, tell him you want to chat about this with him and someone from HR. (And NOT with the nosy lady - if anyone needs to tell her to stop it, they can do so after the meeting - she must not have the opportunity to waste your time justifying herself).

I bet the office spy has form for snitching. I would email your boss at the next incident stating that the woman is affecting you at work and you want the matter addressed. In the email, give examples of what she has done or said. I would also send an email to her stating you are considering a formal complaint to HR. By keeping it all in writing, you have proof.

@Crunchymum was does “putting my 000” mean?

OOO = out of office

Do you have a HR dept? If so I'd raise it with them and tell your manager you are doing so. If not I'd tell your manager very clearly that you feel you are being harassed and it needs to stop. I would look for other roles anyway because she sounds awful.

This is harassment and frankly quite horrible. It is for your boss to stop so I think you give him one more chance to do so (put it all down in an email then ask to speak about it). If he doesn’t stop the behaviour, you say you are going to HR.

One extra thought - I think the clothes scrutiny (esp the part about your bust) is so incredibly inappropriate. I would emphasise that that in particular made you uncomfortable.

I would call my boss and tell him myself, loudly in the office so Ms-Busy-Body can hear, that I took an extra five minutes/ I arrived late to the office running the agreed errand etc. When the phone call ends, I would be giving her a hard stare.

How did your position become available? Was she pal-y with your predecessor? Or did she apply for your role ?
Your boss is doing you a disservice by not addessing this. And if he's WFH the majority of the time, is his office sat empty? Can you sit in there (if only to piss her off even more)?

This! Why is your manager reporting all this back to you?

If they haven’t requested the info and don’t need/want it it’s them who need to tell her to stop it & there’s no need whatsoever for them to be telling you.

I wonder if he’s actually in on it with her and it’s easier to say to you that it’s laughable. I’m suspicious of him

Out Of Office.

Yes, I would and have done in the past.
It creeps up on you, the stress of it all.
Get out now before she drives you to the edge of a breakdown while your boss is amused by it all.