AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Really?

Tell me more . . .

<leans towards Squirrel in a conspiratorial manner>

<offers the cashews>

Nuts? Or there are filberts, if you prefer, Squirrel dear.

I would have thought that they would be particularly . . . inventive . . . what with the digital and oral dexterity required . . .

More the opposite scenario really, but I worked in a small office when I was early 20s, I brought lunch in most days and ate at my desk. This was partly because I was genuinely too broke to buy elsewhere. I had a little gift bag that was just the right size for my lunchbox and arrived with it every morning. The bag was from a local upmarket shop, a kind of designer brands and skin care department store which I don't think I ever had shopped in. One day after months of this, a colleague said quite loudly 'You are not fooling anyone with that bag', I didn't know what she meant but she explained that she believed i wanted everyone to believe that I went shopping at this place after work all the time but was secretly reusing the bag for lunch and hiding it so people wouldn't know the truth. I was WTF? Obviously that's how her brain worked, it wouldn't have occured to me.

My late aunt once announced she’d had a “conservatoire” installed to “overlook the water feature”

It was a normal conservatory next to a quite small fish pond.

@Emotionalsupportviper eeeuw!

My late aunt once announced she’d had a “conservatoire” installed to “overlook the water feature”

I saw the preview, saw "conservatoire" and instantly thought it was going to be a musical anecdote.

It's time to sit on the naughty step with my Bucket points.

Wasn't Eton known as Slough Comp?

Back in the day we had 'the car', ie the bigger family car driven by both of us and 'the MG' referring to my little mid-life crisis 2 seater and rarely allowed to be driven by anyone else!

I have often been one to say, "Will my car be ok parked there?" But I usually mean "is my parking crap/will anyone complain that I am parked there?" 😂

Friend was covering at a drama class. One child came in late and said" sorry i'm late but my pony bit my finger".

A family member will only eat at a restaurant if it has Michelin stars and researches the chefs before she steps foot inside.

OMG. Assuming she has no children and therefore did not go through the stage of mealtimes resembling feeding time at the zoo, and having to pick restaurants based on child friendliness (plus approaching the restaurant armed with a giant tote bag stuffed with coloring materials and plastic farm animals etc.).

She'd get on with my aunt who loves her "pay-shee - O" = patio. And her "orangery" = conservatory

Though it's even on this thread, when a PP said something about themselves then put "For context, I grew up in a council house" i.e. I am normal like the rest of you plebs 😂😂

I have a friend similar to the school mum, all her fb pics and posts seem to include a "status symbol" often the pool house! (To be fair they do have room for a pony but she doesn't mention that! 🤣)
"Can't believe how chilly it is" <insert pic of fancy car dashboard>
"Making mince pies for Christmas.." <insert pic of aga>
"Violet has brought the nursery Teddy home for the week" < insert pic of child with Teddy bear in the pool house>

From a wannabe who has never had a pot to piss in “I shall be sitting in first class in all my finery”. Jeez

DM outraged after a trip to Asda that 'They only had shop's own camembert!!'

DSis while purchasing a sofa 'I only came out for an avocado!'

DSis at least had the grace to stop herself actually saying it, and only uttered the words in the context of telling us the utterly wanky thing she'd just stopped herself from saying 😁

What a prick! Some people astound me 😤My friends, about 15 years ago moved into a house in naice area & like that too it was all "oooh get you two" they lived with inflatable chairs & a bean bag for about a year while saving for floors & fittings, people are so quick to remark when they actually have no idea what's going on

so fuck you Graham! 😆

To be fair, I think lots of us refer to their cars by the make, like “The Toyota needs a good wash” or “Do you remember that camping trip with the Panda?”.
I’ve called some of my cars by girls’ names. The last one was Paloma (Picasso).

Delusions of grandeur?

I love that show. Always reminds me of my grandma. She looked like Hyacinth as well.
My hubby and I use a lot of Hyacinth quotes when out driving. Or if someone says to watch for something while driving we say " Yes Hyacinth "

Really? You don’t just say “the car”?

No, I don't know anyone who does that.

But if you have more than one car and none of them particularly belong to one person and they’re the same colour, what do you do?

Why do anything? You can still just refer to the car, if it needs referencing at all.

Who actually needs to know the exact car you're talking about, unless the anecdote specifically hinges on it?

Yes you’re right, I was thinking more along the lines of saying “I’m taking the car to the garage” which I’d say to DH and I’d forgotten about the anecdote context.

We have different names for the two cars, mostly depending on who's talking/talking to, although I have to admit neither are "posh" cars:
"Esha" or "Ricky"
The "big" or the "little"
"Electric" or "petrol".

Don't use the makes at all, and they're the same colour.

I was brought up in Scottish coalmining town. My mum's first cousin married a local post office worker, so fancied herself a cut above the rest of us.

My dad was Eastern European and a coalminer. Mum's cousin had her daughter on exactly the same day that I was born. Any time Mum bumped into her cousin, the cousin would tell her how wonderfully her daughter was doing with her elocution lessons and so on.

One day, the cousin insisted on telling my mum that her daughter was top of her class for maths.

Not to be outdone, my mum told her that I was top of my class for maths and English.

Mum's cousin: "Well, they do say that children of mixed blood do well at school."