AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

🤣🤣

My mum quite often says,about some relatives.

'I don't know why they think so much of themselves. They go on about Keith being a teacher,but he only went to a Secondary Modern'.

My mother is a farmer's wife and not in the least bit posh,and in her defence,the relatives in question were once very rude to her at a family party by saying 'oh I hope that you haven't brought the smell of the cows with you.' Keith's mother is known as 'the sainted xxxxx' in our family,as she could do no wrong in my grandma's eyes.😂
Anyway,in your face Keith and your sainted mother,we DO have room for a pony,several in fact.

Not really, no.
The table is usually old (I love the old kitchen table my mum gave me) or covered by a tablecloth. Or I just don’t care...

My DGM after visiting my DSIS

"Do you know, she served me a cup of tea in a MUG! Tea should be served in a china cup fgs, everyone knows that! And it had a chip in it. I couldn't drink it, I just couldn't. I don't care if she thinks I'm rude, it was rude of her to serve me tea in a chipped mug"

She visited my house more regularly and brought her own china cup to leave in my cupboard, and insisted she only be served her tea in her cup, because she considered my cups 'slovenly'

Loved the bones of her, she would've done anything for us. But she was a proper stuck up cow sometimes. RIP nan, hope they've got plenty of china tea cups in the afterlife for you!

Lol 🤣

My ex-MIL is not only Hyacinth Bucket in person, but also is embarrassingly awful with anything to do with customer service. She is constantly convinced that the service everywhere is terrible and will always complain, loudly, until she gets a discount and things for free. I have never in my life been out for a meal with her where she hasn't sent something back. And then had a stand off with the staff because she wasn't offered a big enough discount/free pudding and coffee.

Her freezer broke down within warranty. The company policy was to give a flat payment of £100 to cover the cost of lost food. This wasn't good enough for her so she complained and complained over and over again and got nowhere. Eventually she found the CEO's phone number (after forcing her husband to do extensive searching online) and I came to the house one day to find her harranging the CEO with an itemised list she had meticulously typed out and was reading off to him of everything that had been in the freezer: 'four Marks and Spencer Gastropud chicken kievs; 1 tub of Remeo Straccitella gelato ...' Having got through that, she insisted on explaining to him, in detail, why it was ridiculous to offer £100 to someone who bought Marks and Spencer's chicken kievs, and so on (by this stage he was a broken man and had already agreed to fully compensate her, but she's not one to give up a good argument mid-stride just because the opponent has conceded). And demanding his email address so that she could send him the typed list. It was just like Keeping Up Appearances in that I was caught between laughing and cringing.

Haven't RTFT but a few on the first pages reminded me of childhood friends when we were teens. One had the surname Hazard, but pronounced it in a French accent and said he was French (Hazzaaaard). He also told everyone that his parents had him when they were 16.The truth was that they were both close to 50 when he was born and his 'grandparents' were his parents.
The second was a girl whose parents had a Mercedes and a BMW. Both very old models, rather beaten up. She always referred to them as 'the merc' and 'the beamer'. If you phoned and asked her where she was she'd say "in the merc/beamer". Or "the merc is getting MOTd today". It was never just 'the car'.

My mil can no longer drive due to a medical issue. But she buys a new car that sits on her drive and she replaces it every other year, so that the neighbours don't think she can't afford a car. Madness

My uncle and aunt are a Sir and Lady. She is my blood relative and not born into it. She is so much more wanky about it than he is. I cringe at how stuck up it makes me look by association. For example, they bank with Coutts. I know from long years' experience that you can't bank Coutts cheques at the automatic machine or through the app with my standard high street bank, you have to queue up to do it at the counter, So whenever they send my dc birthday money, there I am queuing up and having to explain to the bank staff who always try to divert people away from the counters to the machines that I can't do that because my cheque is too posh for their machines. 😣

I'm reading through this thread now,and it's golden. It really does belong in MN Classics.
ITV was frowned upon in our house too,as were soap operas. Benny Hill and Kenny Everett were banned as they were 'vulgar'. I remember being not allowed to watch 'The price is right' because it apparently encouraged greed.
Years ago,DH and I moved out of our small town,to a semi derelict house in a very pretty,very expensive tiny village. My boss was picking me up to go to a works social thing and when I gave him the address he said. "How can someone like you afford to live there?" By living in a shack,Graham,with no kitchen,that's how.

We used to giggle when DM (God rest her) brought out the fish knives whenever the DCs had fishfingers and chips... 😁

A real Hyacinth would have no carnal relations to give, I'm afraid.

You fail the Bucket test.

My MIL politely requested (when I was expecting our first child), "please, if it's a girl, don't call her Maisy, it's very 'below stairs' "

Utterly gobsmacked at the snobbery.

The first thing I said when expecting our second was "don't worry, this won't be a Maisy either".

I've never considered names in that category thankfully - I either like a name or I don't - wether they'd fit in upstairs or below stairs of a stately home really doesn't come into play.

My mum tells people if she gets a lift in my husbands car. We are going or getting a lift in the Jaguar.

The irony, @Weebleonaworkout, is that those types of names - Maisie, Daisy, Minnie, Polly etc - are now very middle-class! But nothing unleashes people's inner Hyacinth like the naming of children, I agree.

I realise I’m hanging myself out for a hiding here as it has been laughed about a bit on here, but if there is more than one car in the family ( in which case I would just say “ the car” as in “run out to the car for me please; I’ve left my coat in there,” how do you refer to them without being ridiculously thread worthy? My youngest says the colour but it sounds a bit babyish. The rest of us do use the name of the manufacturer. I can’t really see what else to do?

… surely not the number plate?

Or Wally?

Mom’s car and dad’s car worked fine for us growing up.

We swap about a bit. But perhaps we’ll have to officially allocate !

One of the posh fetishes at present seems to be planet saving measures ( NOT mocking: worthy goal). However a very posh family we know has embraced this by ( wait for it) only flushing once a day to save water. In the interim they put the lid down to keep the smell at bay. I wonder how HB would have managed aping that behaviour: does one or does one not let Richard and Sheridan inspect one’s doings? She’d probably have held on and given herself impacted faeces.

My favorite overheard quote, said with total sincerity down a phone was “of course, the last thing I want is to date another flautist”.

Anyone who remembers Mrs (Annie) Walker from Coronation Street will know she was a car brand-dropping snob. It was always 'the Rover', never just the 'car'. In fact, her whole personality reeked of snobbery.

I went to Oxford Brooks but it was Oxford Polytechnic back then.
Despite still recieving mailshots from Brooks (I am an ex-student after all) I thankfully NEVER say I went to "Oxford". 😉

We also have more than one car , and we refer to them by their colour, never by their make .