AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

The rest of us do use the name of the manufacturer. I can’t really see what else to do?
I'd say "my car" or "your/Dad's car".

My late DM wasn't a Hyacinth at all but adored the program. For clarification, we are southerners and i married a northerner. . So she would jokingly say " Baas-IL-dern" for Basildon and other such nonsense. Then she met a real Hyacinth. My late GMIL who had somehow convinced herself we were Tirribly, tirribly posh. On one occasion my DM was staying with us and GMIL invited DM to a "ladies evening". She had invited 9 friends, so 12 of us. She put out crudites - with plain cottage cheese as a dip, and insisted my DM had sherry in a rather fancy glass when everyone else (including me) was given a cup of tea. All her friends seemed somehow in awe of my poor DM who seemed to be the entertainment laid on for the evening! GMiL kept topping up DMs glass despite her protestations... We did chuckle about it afterwards, but never let on that it was odd in front of GMiL and her friends.

We enjoyed a fabulous meal at a well known Private Boys School (Son in law works there)and they hold Christmas /Easter events for family and friends, held in the ‘Dining Room’ (Lunch Hall type venue) - all happy and merry afterwards I made conversation with a gentleman sitting drinking his coffee next to our family and said “what a lovely Dinner” …he corrected me by saying “Luncheon”!
boy did that make me feel small 🥺

Or Faucher as Foo-shay 😂😂

I’m totally outing myself here but a good friend of mine came out with two corkers within 5 minutes of each other.
”I took a dislike to Henry’s girlfriend because when stayed over, she ate all the pistachios”
and
“I told John (other half) that he wears far too many man made fibres”

I say that all the time (simply because we rate houses for sale when we drive past them) “but there’s no room for a pony” and I’ve only just realised that’s where I picked it up from!

Just remembered another one but it’s kind of backwards. I was at a wedding and somehow the whole table got into a conversation about where people grew up and where they went to school. One guy said, in earnest, “oh I just went to an awful school in Slough.”
It was Eton.

Just woke DH lol at this one x

My son too! Cucumbers and peppers too, it’s his favourite.
if that makes me a Hyacinth well… so be it….
‘Bouquet residence, lady of the house speaking!’

I actually refer to MIL as Mrs Bucket.

When I baked a cake for our first meeting, she asked me if I'd worn an apron. I hadn't so she didn't eat it.

She used to bring her own washing up gloves, kitchen roll and pinny when she came to visit. For 4 hours.

When I went into labour with DC2, she was booked to look after DC1. It took her 3 hours to arrive at 5am because a) she'd applied a full face of make up and b) she'd made a fish pie from scratch.

When we were discussing missing my late DH, she replied, "But I bore him from my woooomb!"

Upon hearing a young couple in a hotel having sex, she relayed the story and her complaint to the manager, who she'd also told she was "A woman of the world, but really it wasn't good enough."

She spent many years worrying about the inadequacies of my Asda kitchen roll.

For Christmas when DH died, she wrapped a range of random Lakeland goods individually in black tissue paper for me, including 36 small place cleaners and 2 individual Christmas puddings.

If I went out for a couple of hours and left her with the DC, she would make a point of washing my oven gloves and rearranging my ornaments.

She had new gates with gold fleur de lit on them.

She told DH I had migraines 'for attention'.

And dreadfully, she used to write next to DSIL's birthday in the calendar each year her age followed by 'eggs are dying'. At 42, said SIL had a baby out of wedlock. MIL declared this a 'terrible tragedy'.

Lived on a farm as a child and one day a very portly lady on a horse came by with the hunt. She saw little urchin me on a hay bale, looked down and asked “is this your fimly grind?” I ran in the house horrified at this strange alien language. My mum said it meant family ground and was posh for “Do you live here?” I still laugh about it today!

And DSIS wasn't allowed to stay in a relationship with a lovely man because he owned an oven cleaning company so he 'just wasn't appropriate'.

😂😂😂😂

Mrs Thibbert

My mother worked at our local library before she retired and Mrs Thibbert was known as Hyacinth or Mrs Bucket.

She absolutely insisted that her name was Mrs Tib-beaaar.

Where they used to live, surly any decent HB would know it is pronounce 'Claaarm'

My mother use to do the washing in her mink coat and wellies. Pure HB. We were named after Queens and Kings incase we married well.

She used to make my father drop me at the station so he could drive my company Jag. Although she did put a nodding dog on the back window shelf. She also put gnomes in my garden.

In fairness she did come from a grand family who lost their cash.
Confession, I think I'm worse as I get older. Tuts from the DH I'm turning into my mother.

My mum's neighbour was showing off her new Wedgewood tea cups, and mum said in a very pretentious way ' of course, you can tell good china by the ringing sound it makes' . Then she dangled one of the cups off her little finger by the handle and flicked it with the other hand. Unfortunately, the cup snapped off the handle and crashed on to a plate! She just sat there, frozen in place, looking just like Hyacinth 😆

My sister married a Sidebottom. She pronounces it sid-ee-bow-tome. Creases me. She replaces all of her caravan melamine crockery every year so guests to her 'awning socials' don't think she's common. We then have her poor, long suffering, husband's huge list on non jobs such as jet washing the entire outside of the house every spring. Her latest performance was dressing like Margo from the good life (the episode where she helped Tom & Barbara) to pick blackberries but disturbed a wasps nest. There was such a scream, I couldn't move for laughing. Then we have the years long feud with a local squirrel over what it's allowed to eat in the garden & what it isn't..... I'll spare you details or I'll be here all morning. We're also got a golf course incident where she went down a grass banking on her arse (she's mid 60s & not agile) & the day when she fell sideways on a bike into a massive puddle (looked like it was happening in slow motion!) I think I did actually wet myself laughing that day. Endless entertainment.

Surely the point is that referring to your car by its make (when a posh make) is done to impress others, so it doesn’t have the same effect when used as a descriptor within the family to distinguish between two cars for practical reasons.

But how often will it be relevant to a third party which if your family’s cars is being used at that time?

Eg you say to your dentist “there were no spaces outside so I parked my car round the corner”, not “I had to park the Tesla two streets away”. Or to your child’s friend’s Mum “I’ll collect them by car and bring them to you” not “I’ll pick them up in the Range Rover”.

(Alan Partridge constantly telling the Travelodge staff about the location of his “Lexus” springs to mind!)

Yes, a nicely made distinction. As you say it’s mostly between ourselves and you are right that the need seldom arises in non family context.

… and yet the whole point of manners is really to think of others and put them at ease! So don’t worry, he was the gauche one!

Please message us so that we can buy a genuine: "pervious owner old lady who never drove" car

A friend once told me about her visit to her in laws who had a lot of land with animals. I asked if it was a small holding to which she replied gosh no it’s really big. Still chuckle to myself about it years later.

"He was a broken man" killed me off. I'm not one for mental images but even I can see the poor bloke, wondering what the hell he'd done in a previous life to deserve this 😂😂😂

I have a relative who's big on things being done in the right order and when my daughter was younger would talk about while looking at me like something she stepped in.....
I was married with good jobs and own home when I had my daughter. Sometimes things don't go the way we plan and as far as I know there's no where to hand children back if things don't pan out lol