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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

623 replies

JustAGirlScotland · 21/11/2023 18:16

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

OP posts:
Suzypoo10 · 23/11/2023 18:58

I have friends who lived in St Reatham. Before that they lived in Clap Arm.

eastegg · 23/11/2023 19:04

Bunchymcbunchface · 21/11/2023 18:38

The lady who told my friend who lived in Stevenage that she herself lived in …..St (saint) Evernage…..

and the lady who told my mum that her family would be having a BBQ (pronounced Baaarrrrr Beak) and she must come round with the family to enjoy (in the ladies defence it was the early 80’s and BBQ’s weren’t really that popular)

Not braggy or Hyacinthy at all but this has just reminded me of a funny lad I knew at uni who used to call his hometown (near to mine as it happened) sunny St Ockport (Stockport). I hadn’t heard it before.

ScarlettSunset · 23/11/2023 19:05

When I was at sixth form, a man came in to speak to us, and we were told his name was Mr O'Neon.

It was spelt Onion...

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/11/2023 19:07

TheaBrandt · 21/11/2023 22:02

My friends live in a street where the large Edwardian houses turn into boxier 1930s semis. The posh end have street parties and events and only invite the people that live in the older larger houses. Cracks us all up as one friend is in the gang but the other isnt. Her DH walks mournfully past the gatherings like a beggar at the feast just for a laugh!

Has it got a religious school on the road and one end goes into a main road named after a Leicestershire town?! Cos there is a road very very near me that sounds identical!!! They did lockdown scarecrows, jubilee street party for half the street and trick or treating is like a turf war!!

mamabear715 · 23/11/2023 19:08

I've no patience for any of that stuff, life's too short, but fun reading about it!

Mrschristmasqueen · 23/11/2023 19:10

My exes mum's surname was Onions. She pronounced it 'oh-ny-ons'

My MIL bought one of those lady title things from Buy a gift or wherever and now has Lady on her bank cards.

A friend always refers to his car as 'The Audi'. Our Vauxhall is worth more 🤣

My dad insists on 3 ply toilet roll but that's because he says his finger goes through otherwise 🤣🤣🤣

Kikisweb · 23/11/2023 19:17

My step mum identifys as Hyacinth !

The most Hycinth-esque incident I can think of was when I was about 14 and my brother was about 11. We were all sitting down to watch a recorded episode of Emnerdale. My dad pressed play and it turned out to start with a recording from a porn channel. My stepmother leaps up and tries to block our view jumping from foot in front of the TV screen yelling "You've soiled your children !" Repeatedly. Some of her family were there too, no one could stop laughing and my dad was mortified.

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 23/11/2023 19:18

My much loved and missed late Great Aunt would talk a CNN lot about some neighbours of hers in the 70s and 80s. Their son was the actor Michael York. She would always refer to them as "Michael York's Parents", not by their names.
She once went to mention that she'd met him, and managed to say "Michael York's Parents' Son" instead!!
God I loved that woman.

Pollythenurse · 23/11/2023 19:19

Wonderful

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/11/2023 19:19

Suzypoo10 · 23/11/2023 18:58

I have friends who lived in St Reatham. Before that they lived in Clap Arm.

Also known as Clafe Ham. There was also St Ockwell and East Hampstead - or as ex pointed out, Kilburn.

Pollythenurse · 23/11/2023 19:21

we were taught to do this as kids!!!

ArielManto43 · 23/11/2023 19:22

One of my cousins started dating a new girlfriend.

Said girlfriend ran a stall selling Blackpool rock, saucy postcards, bags of candyfloss, and yes, of course, the inevitable Kiss-Me-Quick hats that no seaside holiday would ever be complete without.

My auntie, when asked what her son's new gf did for a living, replied, "She has a lovely little hat shop in Blackpool."

Lwrenagain · 23/11/2023 19:23

I wrote this out and realised one I really sad, quite the buzz kill so don't read if you're feel sensitive or emotional. (Involves death)

But it really was a real life wtf did miss fancy pants just say 😐🤦‍♀️

I started working bank shifts at a ridiculously expensive nursing home (I'd never even stayed somewhere so posh before, let alone worked) and I'm getting a lady (the title, not the sex) who was very disabled and old and no longer spoke washed and dressed, talking to her through her fancy clothes and making sure she looked smart and still comfy, all expected stuff. Anyway (she looked beautiful and had lovely skin) I was chatting to her as I was doing her hair and her very posh daughter was visiting.
Introduced herself and sat with her mum as I carried on talking to the Lady, telling her what I'm doing as I'm going and her daughter stops me and says, "why are you working here then darling? Doesn't the smell of the elderly upset you?" And it was so ... pleasantly asked, like she'd just said about the weather. I was so shocked. But that was small fry compared to when I got a shift in their sister home, an even more posh version.
I was asked to assist a dying woman, very wealthy but I'm guessing her relationship with her children had been fractured. She had been attacking the staff all morning and she was literally a few hours away from passing, I sat down on her bed, and asked her, may I wash and dress you before your family visit, I think you'll feel calmer if you feel a bit more fresh. Bless her she agreed and I got her into fresh night dress and bed bathed her before her children (adults, ds & dd) arrived. I'd asked the other staff to leave as quite honestly they'd just been pissing her off. I was the only staff member who spoke her language fluently and I think if you're about 2 hours away from death, you're not at your most tolerant. Her dc came in, I'd been reading to her and stroking her hair, but when her dc arrived I went to make them drinks and sat outside, let them know I was only outside should they need me.
Usually in that situation you're needed to change your patient or bedding, or fetch drinks. I'll never ever forget this, 13 minutes later because it was 13:13, her dc came out and her DD said, "we've said goodbye to mummy now, we're off into Chester now for lunch. We've a table booked for 14:30" then told me how much they'd been looking forward to going this pub (btw it's a bit shite, I've been, love a good feed as much as your next lass but not enough to skip my dying mums last hour) I wasn't real staff there, so I didn't really give a fuck about them, even if she was a shitty parent, no idea if she was,13 minutes was cold. I explained that it was their last opportunity to ever sit with their mum, and I'd hate them to regret leaving so early and the DD just says, "Oh Lauren, don't worry, she'll be much happier with you, you're used to all this death". WITH THE MN CLASSIC TINKLY LITTLE LAUGH.
She said it like it was a dark episode of keeping up appearances. I almost expected her to message the home to update me on her moules marinièr and lemon posset later on.

If anyone wants to know the outcome, I stayed with her for a couple of hours after my shift ended. I just cuddled her and held her hand. Her GP was very close to her and arrived to sit with her, she passed with her GP not long after I left. She seemed much happier with her gp, who wasn't a stranger, so I felt comfortable leaving her then.

Petlover9 · 23/11/2023 19:26

Hilarious

RunnerNoMore · 23/11/2023 19:31

20 years ago whilst moving house I stayed briefly with a friend who has a large house and a lot of land. Her husband is a total snob. I came in and he told me the estate agent had called and someone wanted to put an offer in on my house. But the agent had obviously got confused as he’d said a family and how could a family possibly squeeze into my three bed terrace. A year later their 10 year old daughter came to visit and looked at my fairly normal sized garden. Asked me where the rest of it was ….

custardlover · 23/11/2023 19:32

My 10yo.

He said very loudly 'this is actually really nice for economy' on a flight to Lanzarote once.

Reader, he has only ever flown economy in his life.

MenopausalMumofTeens · 23/11/2023 19:38

My children both went to primary school in a lovely village a mile or so away from where we lived. We were talking about rising house prices in the village and one of the school mums said: 'I mean, aren't we ALL millionaires on paper?!' At that period of time I was looking for loose coins between the sofa cushions to scrape together petrol money, so, no.

baileybrosbuildingandloan · 23/11/2023 19:42

Cheshiresun · 22/11/2023 00:46

"Fancy not wearing an under slip?!" Said by a colleague 20 years older than me (50's).

It's not even something my mother would say, or have in her possession.

I'm 60 and I can remember the sheet relief of being old enough to refuse to wear an underslip anymore! I was about 10 I think.

Redannie118 · 23/11/2023 19:46

My ex MIL was so much like Hyacinth, even her kids called her that. My ex BIL started going out with a girl( who he later married) whose parents were multi millionaires. She could barely contain her joy.

When the relationship got serious, millionaire parents invited MIL and FIL to their huge, palatial Northumbrian estate to meet them and have dinner.

When MIL came back she was full of talk about the country estate, servants, multiple homes and basically just all the trappings of being a multi millionaire. Then she said " Its no wonder we get on so well, our lives are so similar, its like looking in a mirror"

She and FIL were VERY working class, had lived in the same 1 bed bungalow on the edge of a very socially deprived area for 30 years and drove a second hand car!!!

notjaneausten · 23/11/2023 19:59

My mother always pronounced ‘turquoise’ as tooorkwahse. And an uncle, pompous twit, phoned his Christmas drinks order, for delivery, a
quarter-bottle of gin and a bottle of sherry. It was supposed to impress us.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 23/11/2023 20:02

SkylinePigeon · 23/11/2023 17:05

I'm sorry but I think all the posters going "OMG one time I actually bought a foodstuff that wasn't ASDA oven chips, what a posh twat am I, riiiight?" or "my child massively embarrassed me by acknowledging in public that they enjoyed something other than Dino Nuggets and baked beans, how super cringe!!!" are being a million times more snobbish and show-offy than any of the Hyacinths mentioned.

I genuinely don't understand all the "OMG my child once ate HUMMUS once omg cringe cringe, how have I, the most salt of the earth person ever, raised Little Lord Fauntleroy" - no one alive thinks of hummus as remotely middle class, and why are you falling over yourself pretending to be Edna Sharples mixed with Yosser Hughes? Who are you trying to impress here?

😂 completely agree with this. I think some people are missing the point that hyacinth isn’t funny because she’s post, she’s funny because she’s trying so desperately hard to be posh when she’s not.

Nigella wouldn’t even notice if her kids asked for smoked salmon, Hyacinth would be straight on mumsnet to faux boast about it 😂

Namechange666 · 23/11/2023 20:03

housethatbuiltme · 22/11/2023 10:31

Not quite but a story my mam always loved to tell.

When I was a kid in the early 90s we where on holiday to Blackpool and there was a street vendor (one of those blankets on the floor with a cardboard handwritten sign types) with a 6 foot boa constrictor selling photos of you holding the snake.

So we got a photo done, I stepped up and he draped the snake over my shoulders and a women in the poshest accent right behind my mam leaned over and said 'I wouldn't let near my child, it looks slimey'. My mam replied 'don't worry snakes aren't slimey, they have a soft smooth feel to the touch' and the woman turned up her nose and confidently replied 'I was talking about the man not the snake' then walked off.

Oh my god I remember that man! I actually held that snake around my neck and had the photo 😁 and for the record, the snake wasn't slimey. Can't speak for the man 😕

JG4 · 23/11/2023 20:08

When my daughter was about 3 I received an email inviting her to another little girl’s party…the mother’s email address was Lady , and it was signed Lady ***.
I was speechless, and so was every Mum in the class , the pretentiousness ! She actually is a Lady as she married a Lord ( she herself is from a ‘ normal’ family ) ; although a very nice chap , very much a ‘ Tim nice but Dim ‘ . This was my very first dealing with her , it only got more Hyacinth Bucket from there .

Ilovecleaning · 23/11/2023 20:11

Sahara123 · 22/11/2023 15:10

“They had a workman in to do some job or other and she gave him a cup of tea. While he was drinking it the husband of the family came home and saw him. He didn't say anything then, but when the man had gone he deliberately took the cup out of the dishwasher and smashed it "in case any of the family drank out of it".
Most of these are funny but this is AWFUL

Also paranoid, stupid and unhinged. What a complete idiot.

fetchacloth · 23/11/2023 20:11

Gingernan · 23/11/2023 18:17

Not a quote,but one of my fellow cleaners acts very posh,and she isn't at all.
She only shops in Mand S but likes us to get her the Aldi brochure.If she sees anything she likes she asks one of us to go and get it as she won't go into the shop herself!
Quite funny!

That sounds like my mum 🤣
I buy most of my food from Tesco and Aldi so I get her Aldi shopping in for her.
I have no shame 😆

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