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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

623 replies

JustAGirlScotland · 21/11/2023 18:16

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

OP posts:
ChampagneLassie · 24/11/2023 09:13

🙋‍♀️also guilty of cake forks 🤣

Iwasafool · 24/11/2023 09:19

StockpotSoup · 23/11/2023 22:08

Mom’s car and dad’s car worked fine for us growing up.

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My husband has two cars, don't know why as he hardly leaves the house, and I have my own car so it is my car or with his it is the make of one and the model of the other as it is the same make as mine.

ChampagneLassie · 24/11/2023 09:20

That’s so sad that people would do that. And thankfully decent people like you exist x

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/11/2023 09:43

Calliopespa · 23/11/2023 21:47

I realise I’m hanging myself out for a hiding here as it has been laughed about a bit on here, but if there is more than one car in the family ( in which case I would just say “ the car” as in “run out to the car for me please; I’ve left my coat in there,” how do you refer to them without being ridiculously thread worthy? My youngest says the colour but it sounds a bit babyish. The rest of us do use the name of the manufacturer. I can’t really see what else to do?

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"Dad's car". ?

"My car" ?

Though I suppose "The Jensen" has more of a ring to it . . .

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/11/2023 09:45

AlexaNotThatOne · 23/11/2023 22:18

My favorite overheard quote, said with total sincerity down a phone was “of course, the last thing I want is to date another flautist”.

😂

That is absolute CLASS! 😂

Calliopespa · 24/11/2023 10:02

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/11/2023 09:43

"Dad's car". ?

"My car" ?

Though I suppose "The Jensen" has more of a ring to it . . .

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We don’t have one each. We shared “the car” then got another because there were too many clashes in timetable. I suppose we could call it “the extra car “ but that has a twatty ring too. One is easier to park ( which is why we swap about depending on destination). I guess “ the easy to park car?” But it starts to become contrived when the vehicle has a handy name on it. As another poster pointed out, these conversations tend to be within the family - and really not trying to impress DH or DCs . And I guess that’s about it: it comes down to how and why .

Packetofcrispsplease · 24/11/2023 10:09

minou123 · 21/11/2023 18:38

To my embarrassment - one from me.

I was handing out cake and my sister started to eat hers
Me: one moment, I'm just about to fetch the silver cake forks.

My sister looked ar me like 🙄

I'm such a knobhead. 😁
(I'm really not that posh, but I'm very proud of my silver cake forks).

Haha 😆 I too have dessert forks that I’d like to use for cake and I have a pretty Cath Kidston cake slice .
My family tend to be so desperate to eat cake they’d hack at it with the nearest knife and stuff it straight in their face 😜

EtiennePalmiere · 24/11/2023 10:10

Wobble01 · 24/11/2023 07:01

My mum's neighbour was showing off her new Wedgewood tea cups, and mum said in a very pretentious way ' of course, you can tell good china by the ringing sound it makes' . Then she dangled one of the cups off her little finger by the handle and flicked it with the other hand. Unfortunately, the cup snapped off the handle and crashed on to a plate! She just sat there, frozen in place, looking just like Hyacinth 😆

Oh, Elizabeth (rolls eyes and tuts)

Calliopespa · 24/11/2023 10:34

BaffledOnceAgain · 24/11/2023 00:07

I actually refer to MIL as Mrs Bucket.

When I baked a cake for our first meeting, she asked me if I'd worn an apron. I hadn't so she didn't eat it.

She used to bring her own washing up gloves, kitchen roll and pinny when she came to visit. For 4 hours.

When I went into labour with DC2, she was booked to look after DC1. It took her 3 hours to arrive at 5am because a) she'd applied a full face of make up and b) she'd made a fish pie from scratch.

When we were discussing missing my late DH, she replied, "But I bore him from my woooomb!"

Upon hearing a young couple in a hotel having sex, she relayed the story and her complaint to the manager, who she'd also told she was "A woman of the world, but really it wasn't good enough."

She spent many years worrying about the inadequacies of my Asda kitchen roll.

For Christmas when DH died, she wrapped a range of random Lakeland goods individually in black tissue paper for me, including 36 small place cleaners and 2 individual Christmas puddings.

If I went out for a couple of hours and left her with the DC, she would make a point of washing my oven gloves and rearranging my ornaments.

She had new gates with gold fleur de lit on them.

She told DH I had migraines 'for attention'.

And dreadfully, she used to write next to DSIL's birthday in the calendar each year her age followed by 'eggs are dying'. At 42, said SIL had a baby out of wedlock. MIL declared this a 'terrible tragedy'.

“Eggs are dying!!!!” That’s just awful! My dad writes all our ages after our birthdays on his wall calendar ( embarrassing). It’s bad enough just the age but who would annotate like that?!

Deboragh · 24/11/2023 11:15

Do you decant the wine, or serve it straight from the box?

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 11:40

Violinist64 · 23/11/2023 07:52

@SomethingBlues l am your mother in this scenario. I cannot bear ring marks on furniture and like to look after it. Much of my furniture is second hand but good quality and l want to protect it and keep it looking nice.

That's always been something I've never understood about the dislike of coasters! Is it because so many people now have cheap furniture that's not real wood? My coffee cup is currently on a glass coaster and will stay there, or maybe on the Sunday paper that's still lying around for the crossword.

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 11:49

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

I cannot begin to contemplate St Hyacinth using non-linen napkins, even at Christmas, she would have sets of linen napkins for every occasion, matching whichever dinner service she was using.

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 11:52

HedgingMyBet · 23/11/2023 18:39

I did once catch myself complaining to my sister in a supermarket, while we were shopping for a dinner party: “I can’t believe they don’t have any physalis!” (Yes, it was Waitrose, and no, they didn’t!) Immediately realised what a massive twat I sounded and shut up!

I recall being appalled when Waitrose didn't have pak choi, I was however super-appalled to find it in Lidl where apparently they almost always have it.

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 12:13

Emotionalsupportviper · 23/11/2023 20:52

A real Hyacinth would have no carnal relations to give, I'm afraid.

You fail the Bucket test. Grin

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If you'd podded Sheridan I think you would agree with her though! Lucky Richard, she would probably tell him he wasn't doing it like a Duke.

Poorlymumma · 24/11/2023 13:06

My grandmother when asked by a doctor if she drinks alcohol
"Yes but only champagne"

Projectme · 24/11/2023 13:13

@BaffledOnceAgain god, she sounds absolutely awful! I mean, Hyacinth Bucket is kind of endearing but none of that shit is!

Elastica23 · 24/11/2023 13:13

Poorlymumma · 24/11/2023 13:06

My grandmother when asked by a doctor if she drinks alcohol
"Yes but only champagne"

I love that.

MITCHELL33 · 24/11/2023 13:28

I had a £20 voucher when you spent £70 in Waitrose I commented to youngest son (31) “what will I spend £70 on”? Champagne came the answer from him!

SquirrelFan · 24/11/2023 13:44

@AlexaNotThatOne @Emotionalsupportviper tbf, from what I've heard, flautists tend to be... eccentric.

Citrusandginger · 24/11/2023 13:56

My elderly and actually lovely Aunty was properly posh. When DH and I got married she asked in all seriousness if I had help.

Not likely on 2 public sector wages, but I guess she had never cleaned her own loos!

I also have a school mum acquaintance who has married well and has a nice fancy house. Good for her but I swear a day doesn't go by without her mentioning the problems with her pool house doors

Daisymaybe60 · 24/11/2023 14:14

DD's schoolfriend, coming to ours for tea, on turning the corner into our road.

"Oh, look at all these little houses all joined together!".

In her defence, she was only 7. But she got much worse when she grew up!

Craver · 24/11/2023 14:36

I once had a friend with the surname Oliver (As in Jamie) she decided she wanted it to be pronounced the French way (As in Laurence), still makes me laugh.

TrickyD · 24/11/2023 14:47

Other way round, my late super rich brother, regular in the ‘Rich List’ was being smoozed by someone who called him a ‘Captain of Industry’. DB replied, ‘No, more of a Lance Corporal really’.

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 15:31

MagicFarawayTea · 23/11/2023 18:44

Was once staying with friends- quite posh, mum terrific cook. She asked her teenage daughter to “ Come and julienne the carrots for mummy, darling “. Lovely woman, but possibly the most middle class thing I’ve ever heard

Hell, that's a term I use, having been told it by a chef friend of our's.

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/11/2023 15:40

JudgeJ · 24/11/2023 12:13

If you'd podded Sheridan I think you would agree with her though! Lucky Richard, she would probably tell him he wasn't doing it like a Duke.

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LOL!

I hope Richard would ask her how she knew!

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