What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

I'm probably one of those judgy parents. About 9/10 years ago, before I had kids, I remember going for a meal with my husband and watching a family of 4 sit down at the table next to us. The two kids spent the whole meal with headphones on, engaged in their own worlds, and the parents barely spoke to each other. It struck me a very depressing and sad. The kids left isolated, while the parents aren't even engaging with eachother. It was a depressing insite into what I thought would become the norm for society.

My own children are 5 and 7, and when we go out for dinner with them we take activities for them to do. If it's just us 4 we take activity sheets that we can help them with, we stay engaged together as a family, or if we are going as a big group with other children we take games like Uno, that can be played together. If the group of kids need adult interaction one of the adults engages with them because they are part of the social experience and should be included. How else are kids supposed to learn how to socialise and interact with one another? I never take screens out with me. I think it is lazy, and it is setting a generation of kids up to fail. Kids are part of the group, part of the social experience, it's up to the adults to include them and teach them. My children never raise hell in a restaurant and they enjoy going out for dinner.

Why can't your children read a book?

Genuine question. Why is the default parenting model these days 'bung them in front of a screen so we can have a nice meal/have adult conversations' etc.

They should either participate in the meal/conversation OR they should read a book. Something that isn't just 'sticking them in front of a screen.'

Totally agree

There’s no such thing as very quietly.

I have countless memories going to friends’ homes and the adults would sit and chat to their hearts’ content, while we all ran and played freely

Similar, we rarely ate out it was such a luxury we could ill afford but I'm sure we would have if we could have. The odd time we did such as a granny's 80th (memory of this sticks in my head) when the kids got bored at the table we were off, outside playing in the car park while the adults continued their meal, or walk to the nearest park with the older cousins minding the younger ones. No doubt if mumsnet was around people would have a thing or two to say about that 🤣. I guess my point is kids had a lot more freedom they would have been let go out of the restaurant, never did I sit listening to the adults yapping on. Kids are no different now, screens are often a safe quiet option as opposed to roaming the streets

I think it’s so dramatic when people say, ‘I think it’s so sad to see children watching screens at a restaurant’ or whatever other nonsense is said.

I try to go out with my two toddlers at least every 3 months so they can get used to the environment. My daughter is 2 and can not sit down in one place for any longer than 3/4 minutes. Granted she has Autism so we give her my phone which will allow us to 1) wait for the food to actually arrive and 2) give us a chance to eat.

My 19 month old doesn’t any sort of screens as he’s as patient as ever but if someone looked at my daughter, they’d have no clue that she can’t sit in one place for a long time. All that making them apart of the conversation and playing puzzles is going to do fuck all for a non verbal 2 year old with limited understanding🙂

So, my child reads a book at the table, and you don't mind that, but someone else's child watches a screen with headphones in and you think "how disgusting". Make it make sense!!!

This. Not even ‘very quietly’ is quiet enough. Headphones or no noise is the only acceptable way.

I cannot believe how many selfish and entitled arse parents let their kids use electronics of any kind, with sound in pubs and restaurants. Absolutely vile behaviour.

Some of the screen time is interactive and is learning children.

My friend's older child has down syndrome and she lets him have screen time. He laughs at it and it stops him getting stressed in public. This means that his Mum can talk us.

There is no sense in that. Screen time can be educational too.

It’s so common now I wouldn’t notice but I don’t think it’s ideal. Children learn a lot by listening to adult conversation and being encouraged to join in with social events. But no body’s the perfect parent, especially not me.

I agree children need to be in situations where they are not centred, and to learn to embrace a bit of boredom. But the OP wrongly asserts that giving screen time is facilitating this.

I'm kinda blown away by the 3 hour lunches

What did people do before cars? Washing machines? Antibiotics?

Just because people managed before why should we not make our lives a bit easier when we can?

times change, I don’t really remember going out as a family until we were all well into primary school, I guess for this precise reason. But I don’t want to not go out or go out without my child for years, so we go out, and we get the phone out when she starts to get bored and we have a lovely time as a family.

You lost me at 'on very quietly'. Incredibly annoying and it's never as quiet as the parents like to think it is. I include members of my own family in this.

If I can't hear it then I don't give a shit. But don't underestimate how sound from devices carries and how incredibly irritating it is for other people.

Why would you be letting them run riot in a restaurant? Ipads fine if thats what you need to do to control your children but headphones not just sound down. No sound is only acceptable answer.

How do you know OP’s 3 year old can even read?

Because it teaches them nothing about socialising, how to behave in an adult environment & it's also very lazy of the parents. Either take your child out, engage with them, or give them colouring to do but if they're going to end up disturbing everyone's meal, don't bring them in the first place! Lazy parenting.

I don't care at all what others do.

I won't allow my children screens at table because I consider it extremely rude in adults and older kids, so I just refuse to start the habit/expectation. I've seen plenty of teenagers who don't seem to have grown out of looking at phones in company so I choose to make it a clear boundary from day 1.

This does however mean we don't sit down to eat or drink with them anywhere if it's going to take hours, so I quite see it's a trade off.

It’s not about judgement, it’s the tinny sound and the intrusion of the sound. Quiet isn’t enough because the quality of the sound is different to that of normal ambient noise. They need headphones so other diners don’t have to hear any of it at all.

We didn’t go out. And that’s not a joke. As kids we went out for dinner once in a blue moon.

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. We don't let ours watch anything until their food is finished I.e. they have to socialise/colour etc before it comes and once they've finished they can have their down time. Meals out are meant to be enjoyed by everyone, including the kids, why shouldn't they watch something they enjoy.

Mine are now 23 and 20 so didn’t have iPads before they were tweens. They would have coloured in or chatted to the adults or one of us would have taken them outside to play and then we would have left. Having young children and long lunches doesn’t equate. Get a babysitter! Meals are for socialising so keep it short with young children.

So weary of people trotting out the tired, trite old trope about "drunken adults" every time children's public behaviour is under discussion.

Screeching, rambunctious, ill-behaved children are far more prevalent.