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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

524 replies

kittensss · 21/11/2023 15:52

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

OP posts:
masterblaster · 22/11/2023 22:16

kittensss · 21/11/2023 15:55

Headphones or on very quietly of course

Very quietly is NOT the same as headphones on. Quietly is your subjective opinion. I presume you actually mean "without headphones". In which case, no-one wants your kids ruining their meal. Go home.

Original poster
kittensss · 22/11/2023 22:20

@masterblaster you can go home maybe ??

I was referring to ONE meal where there were several kids, some weren't my own. I can't remember if they had any volume on or it was muted. We were in a section alone in a corner with no one near us. I guarantee no one heard it, as I don't remember hearing it either. There were some headphones and others did not have headphones and yet others weren't watching screens. It was a mix.

Get over yourself and stay at home yourself maybe ?

OP posts:
masterblaster · 22/11/2023 22:30

kittensss · 22/11/2023 22:20

@masterblaster you can go home maybe ??

I was referring to ONE meal where there were several kids, some weren't my own. I can't remember if they had any volume on or it was muted. We were in a section alone in a corner with no one near us. I guarantee no one heard it, as I don't remember hearing it either. There were some headphones and others did not have headphones and yet others weren't watching screens. It was a mix.

Get over yourself and stay at home yourself maybe ?

Sorry that my telepathy wasn't working, and that the circumstances were significantly different to those that you stated in your original post.

Perhaps If you are on a different planet, and all of the people on the planet are deaf, but you let your children use their iPads at maximum level, of course that's fine.

If you are in a pub, and your kids aren't using headphones, you have absolutely no idea how annoying this is to normal people. You are making a subjective judgement that everyone else couldn't hear. They could, because pubs aren't that big. Go home and stay there.

masterblaster · 22/11/2023 22:31

I DID SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE HATES, BUT IT WAS CONVENIENT TO ME AIBU?

Yes

DON'T JUDGE ME

Original poster
kittensss · 22/11/2023 22:32

masterblaster · 22/11/2023 22:31

I DID SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE HATES, BUT IT WAS CONVENIENT TO ME AIBU?

Yes

DON'T JUDGE ME

Are you ok ?

Nice name btw

OP posts:
Missingmyusername · 22/11/2023 22:35

Let’s damage their hearing with headphones…
If it was a family pub, couldn’t care less. If it was a nice restaurant then possibly, not sure. Am I eating in silence or alone then wouldn’t want to hear it, if out with a group very unlikely I’ll hear it.

YellowRibbon710 · 22/11/2023 22:36

kittensss · 21/11/2023 16:09

A 2-3 hour lunch can be a bit long for a 3 year old to sit and draw. Especially if the adults want to actually catch up and can't speak to the child attentively for the entire 3 hour lunch.

Before you say, keep the kids at home then- I would rather once in a while my kids came with us for an occasion like this. It's good for them to come!

Show quote history

It is good for them to come in theory, but you're not actually teaching them anything other than they'll get screentime. They're not learning how to sit quietly or behave without a screen, so what's the point?

I don't particularly care if you give your kids an ipad over dinner, I just think it's sad.

Cantrushart · 22/11/2023 22:36

kittensss · 22/11/2023 21:27

No ! I just wanted to hear the points of view and see whether there was any understanding for our position or if it was just completely opposing views.

Show quote history

So - surprise, surprise - some people agree with you and some don't. Perhaps you should have enabled voting.

iklboo · 22/11/2023 22:37

Drip, drip drop little April Showers

Moonshine5 · 22/11/2023 23:02

OP you're deluding yourself if you think no one is judging you in IRL

surreygirl1987 · 22/11/2023 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Livelovebehappy · 22/11/2023 23:13

UnderstatedElegance · 22/11/2023 21:43

We are out at lots of lovely places when I was growing up. I didn't ever get threatened with violence by my parents and I was certainly never scared of them.
I don't really care how other people entertain their children at lunch. However, headphone are always a must. Listening to a phone 'quietly' is very subjective.

Tbh, years ago, when I was growing up, children weren’t allowed in all pubs, and most restaurants. Didn’t even have a McDonald’s. Just can’t remember eating out at all. But don’t feel deprived or disadvantaged that I didn’t.

surreygirl1987 · 22/11/2023 23:16

Also yes I do judge. Just teach your children to sit nicely or don't take them out for very long

Totally agree. My sons aren't great at sitting nicely for a long time, so we never stay in a restaurant for a long time. We pick family friendly restaurants, we take books and colouring books with us, and we only go to places where we can pay when we order so we are prepared to leave immediately if they are not behaving well and are disturbing other people. My sons are definitely not angels but as long as we take something to occupy them, like a colouring book, we have never found we've needed to resort to screens. I have taken one of them out of the restaurant before, when he wasn't behaving. I'd actually rather do that than park them on screens, as I think they'll learn more from that.

curaçao · 22/11/2023 23:33

when i was a kid , we didn't colour or draw or watch cartoons when we were in a restaurant nor did we run around the place.we sat and chatted to our siblings and parents.
What the heck has gone wrong with kids? No wonder teaching is such a tough job when kids are raised having to be entertained every second!

Kayos10 · 22/11/2023 23:43

I actually hate threads like this.

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't!

charlotte361 · 22/11/2023 23:45

If you cannot see what is wrong with having videos babysit your kids, then you have no business being a parent!

FosterMommy13 · 23/11/2023 07:04

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 21/11/2023 16:00

This 100%.

Show quote history

Absolutely agree. I don’t understand why people seem to think screens are the only option otherwise the kids are running riot. I never had screens as a kid when out for meals and was brought up to behave!
I know full well that it can be tricky to keep kids entertained etc and I wouldn’t judge a friend who chose to use screens but I am 100% against them being used when out for a meal. I would rather include the child in the meal and conversation or engage with them than put a screen infront of them. If the child is too overwhelmed or finding it difficult, then I’d leave x

FosterMommy13 · 23/11/2023 07:05

curaçao · 22/11/2023 23:33

when i was a kid , we didn't colour or draw or watch cartoons when we were in a restaurant nor did we run around the place.we sat and chatted to our siblings and parents.
What the heck has gone wrong with kids? No wonder teaching is such a tough job when kids are raised having to be entertained every second!

100%

Beachywave · 23/11/2023 07:06

As long as I can’t hear it, I don’t give a shit what other people do.

I don’t let my own kids do it however, as I’d rather them be sociable with us.

Original poster
kittensss · 23/11/2023 07:14

Moonshine5 · 22/11/2023 23:02

OP you're deluding yourself if you think no one is judging you in IRL

That's ok. It's up the the nudged to judge. It's not my problem and says more about them than it does about me.

OP posts:
Original poster
kittensss · 23/11/2023 07:15

What I meant to say is, it's up to the judger to judge.

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 23/11/2023 07:18

This is what you said OP :

"I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here"

So I was just writing you a reality cheque 😂

ShazzyG71 · 23/11/2023 07:31

I can so sympathise with this! My son has ADHD and talks non stop! He doesn’t talk to you either he talks at you. It’s like bullets raining down 😂

Original poster
kittensss · 23/11/2023 07:58

Moonshine5 · 23/11/2023 07:18

This is what you said OP :

"I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here"

So I was just writing you a reality cheque 😂

Let me give you a reality check then...

No one I know in real life and personally judges it, excuse they do the same.

Of course there will be loads of people who'll be judging who I don't know. I'm aware of that...

OP posts:
Original poster
kittensss · 23/11/2023 08:03

Sorry typos all over my post.

What I meant is that no one we know personally in real life judges, because they do the same.

Of course there are people we don't know, who judge

OP posts: