What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

@Sjh15 Oh I don't care who does it, children or adults, it's always annoying. I'm autistic and things being played out loud by ignorant strangers can cause me to have a meltdown. Commuting into the office every day was a complete nightmare for me and I wish everyone was more considerate with tinny sound. It's such an easy thing to avoid inflicting on other people.

Once again, low sound is not good enough. If a child won't wear headphones then the device should be silent.

@cardibach I agree with you and feel exactly the same about screens at mealtimes. They’re not necessary if you talk to and involve your children. And I’m not saying this as a perfect parent with perfect children. But my children always came out with us to meals from a very young age so they grew to know how we expected them to behave in public. We also tried to book somewhere that had a garden so that we could take them for a walk in the fresh air if the meal was quite lengthy or courses took a long time to appear. There was no screaming or shouting or running around because they knew we wouldn’t allow that sort of behaviour in a public place. And we always had books and crayons with us that we could turn to - old school
equivalent of a screen I guess!!! But far less intrusive.

My favourite is when people complain about kids being on screens in public yet are on their phones on and off through a meal 🙃 They expect children to have a higher boredom threshold than the adults, which is sort of bonkers.

I don't bring tablets out for meals, I prefer to bring small toys and stuff. That's my decision though, and it's because my kids watch TV every second they're at home 😂 So being anywhere else is a good excuse not to watch screens for a change.

Do whatever works for you, regardless of what people on here say.

I was thinking just this - we were scared of our parents and would sit bored out of our minds for fear of being punished if we expressed our boredom, or ‘played up’ (i.e. made child noises!).

I hate the argument that our parents didn’t have screens to hand to us to keep us amused - I can guarantee they’d have used them if they were available to them back then!! Just as there will be things in the future that we don’t have access to now; if we did, we’d probably use them!

Screens with headphones - fine.
I dont want to pay to sit and endure kids TV while im trying to have lunch.

Broadly, I am judgey about it.
Im Gen X and it was either crisps and coke in the back of the car if my dad / grandad had nipped in for a swift half or if I was going out with the family for a meal then I sat and behaved regardless of being bored. No fear, no trouble, but I was expected not to make a nuisance out of myself.
Honestly fuck knows where this thing of kids need to be entertained 24/7 so they dont get bored comes from but I suspect its going to breed a generation that cant cope unless its constantly stimulated.

It doesn't affect me, as long as the sound is off o headphones are used.

But I wouldn't give my kids screens at the meal table at home so tend not to when paying for them to eat out. Sitting round a table is about sharing an experience and chatting together.

If we're on holiday and having a lot of meals out, I might possibly allow screens while waiting for food for some meals.

I certainly wasn’t shouted at or smacked either - nor were my DC. I do think puzzles and colouring books are better than screens as the child can still join in on the conversation, but that’s just my opinion - you do you.

Completely agree with this. It’s good to be bored occasionally!

Totally agree.
I’m a teacher and I’ve witnessed the decline of children’s focus and concentration.
Scary stuff.

My DCs are 25, 17 and 15 so a bit old to have experienced what is happening now with the current screen culture. The younger ones used to have Dorling Kindersley sticker books....not sure if they’re still around but they were fab.

These days, screens aren’t allowed at the table, at home or in restaurants.

The judgement when it comes to this is usually from people who don’t have a child like mine. She’s autistic and we’ve always allowed it but now she’s 7, she can sit through the majority of meal out without one.

I honestly don't know why anyone is judging if they can't hear it. Just get on with your day and stop worrying if some stranger's child is going to have to have therapy when they are 30 years old because they were allowed to use a screen and not be made to be bored.

You see, here's what I don't get. I am not personally bothered if your kids have screens. I probably wouldn't even notice, but I just don't get the level of entitlement.
Oh my gosh, you might not be able to go to a restaurant for 3 hours. Big deal. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of restaurants I went to as a kid because there were 4 of us kids and my parents couldn't afford it. We didn't die of loneliness. It wasn't a big tragedy, we met up with family in each other's houses - and as I said before, we didn't all have big houses.

As for going on planes, we didn't do that either. Most poorer larger families didn't. We weren't deprived. Nobody died.
Why do people expect this stuff? Why are people so incapable of working round it when they have got kids? As a gen x growing up in the 70s, our parents didn't shut themselves away just because there wasn't the money for a 3 hour lunch.
God forbid your kids are loud? Well, you know, it isn't your living room. Other people exist. I wasn't shouted at or hit, I was asked to use an indoor voice in a public space, be that a train, or a cafe. I wasn't deprived of childhood joy because I couldn't shout at the top of my lungs everywhere I went.

I just don't get why all this is so HARD these days. I don't get the whining I have read so many times on MN about how tragic it would be if you didn't go to a restaurant for a few years whilst your kids are at the 'get bored' stage. Went years without going out for meals when I couldn't afford it. You just do something else.

These days everybody thinks it's their right to do everything with their kids. If every single public space doesn't not only allow kids, but allow them to do as they like, the UK is a 'childist' country. If everybody doesn't sit with a beatific smile on their face on an 8 hour flight with a screaming kid, we all want you to lock kids away in cupboards.

We aren't allowed to be irritated, we can't say anything like we could with an adult and we only care about kids with SEN. Adults who have sensory issues with sound, etc, just have to suck it up because every single child should be able to make 'child noise' and can't possibly be any quieter.

Kids have more rights than anyone these days and I am sick to death of hearing about how hard done by families are because it's difficult to do some first world activity because some people are 'judgy'. Oh, boo hoo.

Summed up perfectly, your kids aren't the problem, you are. Either teach them to sit down and shut up or don't go. Why should everyone else have their meals ruined to accommodate your little darlings.

We all managed just fine without phones once upon a time, God forbid children learn to cope with being bored.

Headphones and I don't care.

No headphones - even if it's quiet - and I will be sending you serious judgey hate vibes.

Also, as I experienced recently, don't stick your small child (c.3 yo) on a separate table with their tablet blasting peppa pig whilst you sit on a different table with your pals swigging wine. Unsurprisingly said small child wandered out of the restaurant only rescued by myself and a member of staff. I judged hard in that situation.

@Utterbunkum sorry, I'm going to continue to take my children to restaurants whenever I please. They're pretty well behaved. We've never had complaints.

I'll also continue taking them on flights etc. life continues, even when you have kids and my family and I won't be banned from stuff, just because you don't want to hear or see a child in public.

Kids are part of society and have every right to be wherever their parents deem is OK for them to be and wherever they're LEGALLY allowed to be. Restaurants, airplanes, trains, holiday resorts, cafes, shops, museums, parks etc etc etc.

@Screwballs literally never ruined anyone's meal, we are pretty sensible about things.

You're just making assumptions, as happens way too much on mumsnet.

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Literally why are you here asking the question, seeking validation for your selfishness? You are the epitome of "me, me, me", I want to go for a meal, I want a holiday, I won't be banned, I have rights, my kids have rights, so sod everyone else. So back to my original opinion. You are the problem.

People didn't eat out as much as they do now so to ask what did kids do before screens.. they didn't go out half as much! The way I see it is a meal out is no child's idea of fun. My kids hate going out for dinner so if I do decide to go out it's for my enjoyment not there's and I will take screens and colouring or small toys to keep them entertained. My rule is no screens until dinner is chosen and ordered, and obvs put down while eating. But otherwise I'm not going to make them sit there and listen to me talk about how crap my day was.

It’s all about good parenting. Some parents don’t understand what’s required from parents. Occupying your children appropriately is imperative. Good manners are crucial and must start young. Abandonment by watching videos and not being included at the dinner table is neglectful parenting. If parents don’t appropriately deal with ‘bored’ children at this young age, then the teenage years will be unbearably. Discipline starts young and by example. Yes by parents example!! Rude parents have rude children.

Very quietly is not the same as silent. Children’s media has the most grating sound which I don’t want to hear at any volume

Agreed. 'Very quietly' is not acceptable. If I can hear, yes I would judge. Headphones/silent or nothing.

Its just lazy parenting. Too much screen time isn't good for children, particularly toddlers. Colouring, games, playdough books, puzzles etc all come out with us to keep the kids entertained.

Also, learning how to be a bit bored for periods is part of developing executive function past a certain age.

Please don't do this on holiday in Europe. It's so embarrassing as expats! Also I don't want to watch peppa pig when having a romantic meal with my partner.
Mine is 5 and will happy entertain herself at the table for 2 hours and more. She is even able to chat easily with adults. Bring colouring books. Mini board game/playmobile. Or a small bag of toys.

we tend to do colouring/ activity/ play card game to start. Then after meal the kid can have a screen whilst i have another glass of wine

we didn’t have screens when i was a kid. But we rarely ate out at pubs or restaurants: everyone smoked like trains and kids were usually confined to the family rooms. Which were hideous. And yes, we would have had a
smack for being naughty

I couldn’t care less if they had headphones on. It’s annoying if you can hear it. I went to an afternoon music gig in a family friendly venue recently and I could the racing game the little boy on the next table was playing over the live music, it was very annoying, his parents didn’t seem to care so I’m unsure why they were even there.