What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

It's intensely annoying to be able to hear the sound of cartoons or music. Faintly is equally annoying.

Also yes I do judge. Just teach your children to sit nicely or don't take them out for very long. It's lazy parenting to give them screens to keep them quiet and will raise adults that can't sit still and concentrate.

See, this is precisely the kind of overreaction I am talking about. I haven't said I don't want to see your child. I haven't said I think children should be banned from anywhere!
I said I have no problem with screens, etc.

What I don't get is all this bloody over dramatic rubbish about how terrible it is to have to maybe think differently about 3 hour lunches if your kids are at the 'get bored' stage. It's honestly like you are all going to be locked in your houses if you can't do everything the way you would like to with your kids in tow, FFS.

All I am pointing out is, nobody died from not being able to have meals out in the same way with kids. You went off on one with the usual drama about planes and kids not being 'loud', which is what I was responding to.

If you can't bear to think outside the box for meeting with friends when you have kids who might be bored, by all means, use devices. It's the carrying on about 'judgement' as though it's the worst thing on the planet after you asked a question you clearly only wanted one answer to.

What I want is for everyone, including kids, to be able to use public spaces without disrupting it for anyone else. 'loud' is disruptive, doesn't matter who is doing it, and I don't get why some people think kids should be exempt from that.
Your last post indicated you think they should be, because they are children. I don't get that argument. It makes no sense. The noise is the same, the disturbance is the same. I didn't say 'your' kids were loud, etc. You brought it up.

Yes, kids can legally go to.lots of places, just like everyone else. It's not illegal for anyone to watch videos at full volume in a restaurant (this is an example, NOT me saying you do this) but people do sometimes think, 'I want to show my friend this video, perhaps I won't do it in the restaurant. Maybe we will do that a home'. Being irritated by people watching loud videos on phones and thinking if they want to do that, they could do it elsewhere isn't demanding phones get banned from restaurants.
Suggesting that if your kids struggle to be quiet in a restaurant for three hours without devices, which is perfectly understandable, you might consider not spending 3 hours there is NOT saying 'ban all children'. Sheesh. Pointing out it's no great hardship if you don't have 3 hour lunches for a while isn't telling you to hide from society.

phones on silent or headphones, not my problem. Phones on quietly, just no. And don’t believe the rubbish about European children not on phones when out for dinner. We just came back from a very smart hotel in Spain and a cruise. Foreign children in all of them sitting in restaurants as entranced by screens across all of them

Some of you seriously need to calm the fuck down and get your beaks out of how other people raise their children.

Yes, this totally. See also "european children aren't fussy". Load of utter and complete bollocks.

Here's a list of things that annoy me when out in public:

• Dogs barking and just generally being present, slobbering everywhere;
• Groups of adults talking about boring shit and/or laughing loudly
• Teenagers talking on loudspeaker
• People constantly getting up every 30 seconds to go to the loo
• People faffing in public toilets completely oblivious to the fact there is a queue
• People walking slowly and not being aware of their surroundings
• People who only decide what they want to order at a cafe once they are at the counter, even though the menu is right there in front of them

All of those things are more annoying to me than someone else's child very faintly watching Peppa Pig in the background of a restaurant, but I don't get all apoplectic with rage because at the end of the day I live in the world with other people and other people tend to be irritating. If I can't cope with that then I ought to stay at home.

If you get the phones out after a hour I don't think you will ever get much longer than a hour.

Our kids coloured or did puzzles or sat playing with a quite toy (age dependant) before food. Then that got packed away until after food. We did find some places took longer as our kids were not running around. The colours came back out when the plates were gone. We asked for coffees to come with pudding if we wanted but it wasn't until the kids were about 9 or ten that we were really able to enjoy a coffee after a meel. We left before they got bored so it was fun to go out. If it was a family event we would move it else where.

I'm a teacher and there has been a huge deterioration in behaviour, attention and vocabulary that is difficult not to attribute to the increased use of technology in lieu of conversation and interaction.

I don't think I am a judgy person but when you see toddlers in pushchairs with iPads, children on car journeys with iPads and kids in restaurants with iPads you can't help but wonder whether those children would be developing at a faster pace if they were talking and interacting instead of passively watching, whether their ability to focus for increasing lengths of time would be supported by entertaining themselves instead of being mesmerised by the easy entertainment presented on an iPad.

A child - about 8 maybe - was walking around the supermarket watching an iPad today, no headphones.

I can't say that I wouldn't use an iPad if my children were little now. I can see that they have a place and are useful. But I think parents tend to underestimate how many hours they are used for, and the skills the child isn't practising while using one.

Yes and primary chn handed a phone before they are out of the school gate!

I don't think people much care unless it's impacting them do they? Once it is, they're allowed an opinion imo. Also an interesting debate to be had about child development and wider society imo.

Noise of it I object to. Wearing headphones no issue to me.

I went to a football match about five years ago, and the family of one of the visiting team included a young child maybe about three. He got bored (probably after daddy's team let in two goals early on) and so his mum got out the iPad, placed it on his lap, he knew the code, and then quietly played a game. Nothing wrong with it, though then his dad scored twice in the second half and his team won!

This ^

I feel quite smug our family are clever and doing well even though we use technology a lot.

I don't see a problem with it. We never never gave phones etc when it was a short meal or just us. Big family meals, we'd give them phones etc a while after we'd the finished the meal. So they'd be involved in the conversation for an hour or so, then let them be entertained while the adults talk.
It's worked out well for my kids. I've got aged 10 to adult aged children, who are all good conversationalists and don't touch their phones while we are out now.

Only with headphones. Even if YOU think it's quiet, some people will be able to hear it, and it's not fair at all on other diners.

You’re all the most judgemental bitter sounding humans. Lighten the F up.

I agree.

Very unpopular I am sure but with the exception of supporting children with special needs I just don't see why tablets/phones are needed at the table.

In your circumstances after a good hour at a large family occasion, I see why you would.

However, parents allowing their children to do it from the minute they sit down seems bonkers.
A main point of eating out is to be social, children can't learn those social skills if they're not exposed to the opportunity.

If I can hear you speaking in a restaurant, is that unfair? Can I mute you?

The boring and loud conversation you can hear from the adults on the near tables.

Right? Do people really think their tedious conversation is any less annoying to listen to than someone's kid watching paw patrol?

Yup.. similar to what we do.

'I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here'

So why have you started a thread that invites 'judgy' people to comment on your parenting? Are you seriously expecting us to be convinced by your (maybe not with headphones, but very quiet) video- watching children?

Exactly. We do it when required for a bigger / longer occasion. It's happened like twice this year or so to be fair. If it's just us or just us and the grandparents, we have a quicker lunch or dinner or whatever and they can happily be entertained for an hour or maybe even an hour and a half without screens. For a longer meal and a bit more conversation with family and friends, we get screens out. To be fair, they also get bored of screens, so it's not like they're glued to it for hours at a time. They watch a bit, then we talk a bit- maybe go for a stroll around the pub or in the garden. Adults take it in turns to maybe walk the youngest around outside for them to nap in the buggy if that's what's required etc. just normal family stuff, that sometimes involves a scene at a table.

We went for a big family meal in the summer on holiday abroad and everyone took it in turns to walk the kids around the block in their double stroller until they fell asleep, so we could enjoy a meal on our last evening with our family. The little one did not sit down for even a minute during that meal. Just wanted to walk around the entire time. He was only just over one then and he just doesn't care for any screen time ( still ) at all. We took it in turns to entertain him somehow. But we didn't forego our meal. We are firm believers that you must still do this kind of stuff, especially for special occasions.

Conversation is a given when you are eating out. Paw Patrol is not.

No ! I just wanted to hear the points of view and see whether there was any understanding for our position or if it was just completely opposing views.