What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

We were left outside in the beer garden with a Britvic orange with the oldest child left to supervise 😂

@Desenia86 You work in a restaurant but it doesn't mean you have an insight into your customers lives. You have no idea what these children do everyday. Some people might not use screens when out for dinner but let them watch a lot of TV at home. The children with screens might have been swimming or doing another hobby that day.

Totally agree. What a shame good manners seem increasingly out of fashion.

The only place we ever let our young dc use a screen at a table - on silent - was at weddings. Twice with one dc, once each with the other two, all were between age 2 and 4. The wedding breakfast and speeches can go on ages (far longer than we'd sit in a restaurant for) and it was very helpful to whip them out when they started getting feral bored.

Other than that we've kept a no screens at table rule at all times, at home and out. We visited child appropriate restaurants and stayed for a child appropriate length of time. I think it helps instill good behaviour and habits...even now at 15 our eldest wouldn't even take his phone out of his pocket in a restaurant because hes had it drummed into him from toddlerhood.

For those saying 'ohhh buuttt we only ever use them at the end/for 5 minutes' or whatever then you're exception ime. Most kids I see plugged into ipads and phones in restaurants seem to have them shoved under their noses the second bums hit seats.

I never said good manners were old fashioned. I meant that not taking young people to restaurants is old fashioned. My family are very well mannered. Mine didn't have screens but my Grandchildren do sometimes and they are very well mannered to.

@Desenia86 of course that's the reality although people are ashamed to admit it. I certainly is when I go out to eat.... or maybe it's where I am choosing to go out to eat?

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I think it might be best to refrain from taking them to any event that is beyond their ability to cope.

So until they have learned the basics of sitting still enough and behaving well (without devices and distractions) you don't take them out to places where they can't cope. It's not fair on anyone.

You'll know they're ready from seeing their progress at home (even if you eat on your lap, you can turn the telly off and talk)

Yes it's a bore that there are places that are inappropriate to go when you are still socialising your DC. Yes it's annoying when an adult has to leave the table early to go and play with the DC because you've spotted they're running out of steam.

@SpicedAppleAndFreshCider there is no good reason for a baby in a highchair to be attached to an iphone.

This. Of our group of friends, only one family we know resort to iPads for their kids. It's either tablet time or them wrecking the place (quite literally damaging the wallpaper in one restaurant we went to). I don't understand why it's one or the other. Our kids have never ever ever had an iPad or phone in a restaurant. They're expected to sit and join the conversation (we purposefully include them in the conversation) or they can chat amongst themselves. If you want to have adult time then leave the kids at home.

I didn't say a baby.

Personal screens didn’t exist when ours were small. They don’t “run riot”.

Why are you so defensive about this? Clearly you think it’s fine, so crack on. Enjoy your digital babysitter. Just make then wear headphones.

Surely people with babies take a few toys (similar to toys that dangle off of prams/pushchairs) that the little one can play with. The adults would play too.

People who don't want to feel like they are in a nursery should eat out at different places. This Summer we sat outside a pub (just me & the DH) and it was near a play area. We chose to move so we were sat away from it.

Some people can afford to eat out quite often so that's why you find children with them. Of course on a proper night out at a nicer restaurant you would leave them at home with a babysitter.

I'm not into it at all. A lot of people are saying that with headphones it's ok - it just seems to weird/rude to have headphones on while at a group meal, I wouldn't teach my children to do that either!

I think you either work within your children's attention spans (90 minutes for a meal out) or get a babysitter if you want to do something outside that. You're not really including them anyway if they're sat there with headphones on and completely fixated by a screen.

Personally I find it bloody depressing. We were on holiday a few years ago, a couple of families having dinner together, adults all chatting at one end of the table. Children ranging from 8 to teens all ignoring each other looking at devices at the other end of the table. Zero interaction. My daughter was only a baby at the time but we decided no screens from then. It’s just bad manners to ignore people in favour of screens.

I think it's no issue if occasionally, I certainly wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it as long as it wasn't disturbing anyone.

The only thing I've found is that habits set in and what was OK at 3/4/5 isn't so much at 9+ but by then the habit is formed and it's harder to pull back. So, it was something I did with my 11 year old when he was little but not something I personally choose for my 2 year old as I can see that it's actually easier in the long run to enforce a blanket rule (ditto food only at the table and a few others!). However, my 2 year old is easier going than my older one was at that age so I think it also depends on the personality of the child.

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here

I think you nailed it in your OP to be honest.

On MN people seem desperate to prove that their way of parenting is the best. That they survived without x, y or z and raised the perfect child therefore others should. That what they did was The Right Way, and that makes them superior.

It's everywhere on MN, about every aspect of life, but kids, screens, food and manners is a perfect storm of judgey/bizarre on MN.

Are there people using the screens that are not interacting with the children? If so I can see why people think this is awful but that's not what happens a lot of the time. If they are playing a game the adults usually play with them or talk about what is happening on the screen. There are number/word games. Same as colouring, I always colour with my Grandchild.

Yeah the extreme judgment of other people's parenting is really something on here ! I asked myself yesterday what kind of stuff I actually judge other parents for and there is actually not that much I would care to judge.

Aside from abuse and neglect and always thinking your child can do no wrong.. I also have a pet peeve for people not dressing their kids warm enough and always think to myself that children look cold. That's pretty much the only stuff I ' judge '.

On here it's absolutely nuts ! It's every single thing. If your toddlers and preschoolers aren't little soldiers drilled into perfection, you're a despicable parent apparently. Oh and GOD FORBID your child has the audacity to be loud in public - well, then you've absolutely failed as a parent and human being , you entitled swine ! Oh and don't you DARE take your kid on a plane, especially not business class where people pay money NOT to hear your child talk or cry etc.
Oh why don't you just stay at home until your child is 18, in order not to bother the rest of us. Make some sacrifices woman ! The times to go out and about a bit are over now you're a mother. You can go to fucking play grounds and soft play on repeat, but don't come into my fucking cafe and have your children sit next to me making noise. But also don't put them in front of an iPad you lazy mother !

It's a joke really, but an eye opener that some people are like this.

Rant over.

I also have a pet peeve for people not dressing their kids warm enough and always think to myself that children look cold. That's pretty much the only stuff I ' judge

Ah mine are stripper-offers. I'll put my DD in the buggy in six layers and by the time I've walked to down she's down to leggings and a vest 😂i think she is cold but refuses point blank to admit it.

@kittensss children love eating out. We went out every Sunday when my Grandma was alive. She loved her family time. My children loved it. They often had a little toy (that she mostly had treated them to). They loved choosing a different food than the rest of us. Great fun!

No harm really. It's a parents' choice. I'm personally against it because I don't like for it to be the pastime of my child. If they're old enough and they choose to do so, then that's fine.

I don't have an issue with ipads/phones coming out after everyone has eaten and young children are starting to get bored but I do find it quite sad when I see families out for food somewhere and get them out as soon as they sit down. It just strikes me that they can't be bothered to engage with their children so they are never going to learn how to behave whilst out for dinner without the aid of an electronic device.

My and my dp were out last week for lunch and there was a family at the table next to us - 3 generations so grandparents, parents and young child (about 2/3 maybe). We were there for around an hour - they had been there when we arrived and were there when we left and not once did an ipad or phone come out. He was really well behaved because the adults were engaging him, as were the restaurant staff. I commented to dp how well behaved he was and how lovely it was to see.

We once went out for sunday lunch with another couple (each couple had 2 kids) and we had told our that they needed to be polite and behave, etc and then as soon as we sat down the other couple handed their two a huge ipad each. They also gave them to 'them to help them get to sleep' though so...

I also don't like dirty children. I understand that clothes get dirty. But consistently crusty faces ( again, I understand they get dirty faces ) but clean them up as soon as you can really.

This is the only stuff I get a bit ' judgy ' over and I probably shouldn't, as you don't always know the circumstances why they have a crusty face. Maybe mum / dad just hasn't got around to cleaning them up yet.

Ah so we've found what you judge, a dirty face doesn't affect other people, kids on electronic devices without headphones does