AIBU to take my son into the female changing room?

[JustKeepSwimmingAlong]

I’ve taken my kids swimming tonight, both have separate swimming lessons and I swam with one while the other had theirs. Eldest is male, 9 and has multiple additional needs including ADHD, ASD and some physical disabilities which means he struggles to change himself. Youngest is in nursery so can dress herself but does need supervision. We got out the pool and realised all the changing rooms were full. There were 8 classes on over multiple pools, as well as general swim on at the same time. There’s only two family/accessible changing rooms and the others are all individual. There were literal queues for the large changing rooms.
I then noticed people going out of the group change. I’ve not used it before, but there was a male and a female changing room, so we went in the females. There was no one in it so started laying out the kids clothes and getting them to shower. Got them out the showers and started to get them dressed and people started coming in. There were a couple of mums with young girls and boys, and then a teenager looking girl came in by herself. She immediately came over to tell me that we were in the female room. I explained my son needed help getting changed and the changing rooms were full, but this room had been empty so we’d used it rather than standing wet and cold waiting for a changing room.
We were nearly Finished and my son was fully dressed when she arrived. He sat next to me, facing the wall and we left within a few minutes. During this time, she did get changed, so we didn’t delay her. Now I’m wondering if I was unreasonable?
I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I really don’t know what else I could have done in the situation? There’s too many classes and too few changing rooms, and we need a larger/accessible one, but they’re the only ones with baby change so they’re really
Popular. The lessons are every week so now I’m wondering what I can do next week? Would I be unreasonable to keep using the group change if there are no other options available?

Or OP could have not taken a male in there.

There are some trolls on this thread. Sometimes there aren’t enough resources for everyone so we have to share. One way of sharing is to assign certain resources to certain groups, another is to take turns to use a resource. The signage at the pool indicated the first way of sharing, the circumstances indicated the second. Women can have their single sex space if they wait 5 minutes in this case. Meanwhile serious ableism and entitlement. What a wind up.

@PixieLaLar

Autistics are entitled to queue passes at all venues. They get disability assistance at airports to avoid queues.

Why exactly do you think it is acceptable that an autistic child is standing soaking wet experiencing sensory distress, in a queue that is causing them further distress.

It’s unacceptable.

Like you saying to a wheelchair bound person - it’s ok, just lay on the ground, you don’t really need the chair.

He needed an appropriate space and no queue.

It is unacceptable to have had anything otherwise.

9 year olds are still small children who need to stay with their parents and use the changing room associated with the sex of the adult they are with.

What are you not getting about it being a female space?

Why should my teenage daughter (who has ASD and sensory processing disorder) be made to feel uncomfortable by a male in a female only safe space? Why is the answer to a lack of facilities for a male be to use a female space? Better make a girl uncomfortable than for a boy to be inconvenienced.

Well, wait for a cubicle they can use. Rules generally state that no children over 7 or 8 are allowed in opposite sex open changing areas.

Why should a female vacate the female changing and go to the loos so a male can use the female facility?

She literally just had to wait 5 minutes.

Exactly.
Your daughter has as much right to feel safe as the male has, and she's in the correct place.

I will always help girls and women before anyone else. And I will never help people like you, whether you or your kids are disabled or not, because you don’t care about girls and women.

I did complain, but when the wet room floor is tilted the wrong way so you are up to your ankles in water after changing, there wasn't a lot they could do. Ironically the old one eas fine -they spent a fortune but fucked it up.

My disabled child can use the toilet to change to make way for a male?? WTAF???

It's also unacceptable to take a male into a female only space, where he isn't allowed to be.

Surprise surprise, the troll who doesn’t respect women’s spaces turns out to be a pervert.

Look forward to your ban.

The vast majority of caters are female and many disabled children are male. Caring and the difficulties it throws up are feminist issues.

@Marionella I would have given you 10 claps if I could. It is exhausting, stressful and you don’t need to have others animosity, whenever the issue here is clearly that the leisure centre have failed in their duty to provide an accessible environment.

OP this is not your fault, don’t feel bad, but demand better for next time.

They're not small children. They are children, but there is a world of difference between a 9yo and an actual small child of 3 or so. I do think it's difficult in an atomised society like ours where the choice is either take your 9yo everywhere or send them on their own. I guess previous generations would have erred on the side of "send them on their own and have them take their younger siblings while they're at it!".