AIBU to not pick 4 year old DD from school?

[marshyrun]

DD2 is 4 and in reception. She’s had the usual on off cough / colds since starting in September and is just coming to the end of a bad cold, she went to school throughout with me just giving her calpol in the mornings.

She woke up today absolutely fine, had breakfast, in good spirits. Still a slight cough but had some calcough before leaving.

School have just called to say her teacher has said she’s not herself, they checked her temp (all fine), she doesn’t feel sick or anything, they’ve said she’s just being quiet and clingy and not enthusiastic about participating in some of the activities. They’ve asked me to come and collect her if she’s still being “clingy” after lunch.

AIBU to not pick her up unless she’s actually poorly? I’m the first one to drive to school if my child is poorly but this doesn’t seem to be the case today. She’s naturally shy and quiet anyway so her being reserved is not out of character at all!

If this child had been clearly unwell when collected at the end of the day then the school would be pilloried for not caring enough to call a parent to collect her!

@Goldbar this is what I was trying to say.. when I collected her she was out in the playground having lunchtime play. Running about with friends. Not in the school office like I expected her to be. She’s had sickness bugs, chicken pox, diarrhoea etc this year alone - all of which I’ve kept her off school for.

Theres only me, Dad not involved, they’ve got no grandparents (I was brought up by my own grandparents as my mum didn’t want me and they’ve since passed away) and no aunties / uncles to help. I need to work. I use all my annual leave for the school holidays. I’d lose my job if I took time off every single time either of them had a cough.

The cold started just before half term so she had a week at home with me (I was off) to chill and get over it, after a week - before she went back to school (was still coughing) I took her to the doctors. They said let it run its course and just get calcough to ease the tickly throat. She had no temperature. I’ve not been dosing her up like PPs have said. The calcough is just to ease the throat.

Just go and get her! Can’t believe you are posting on here rather than getting over there to collect her. She’s 4. Tiny. I’d be there like a shot for my girl, but yet you’re asking strangers online what to do and whether the school are being unreasonable. YABVU.

@takemehomecountryroads I’m not debating anything. I’ve already collected her over 2 hours ago, if you check the update.

This thread is nuts. All these mums saying OP shouldn't have sent her DD in with a cold in the first place?

Kids get colds every five minutes. Working parents would hardly ever be at work if they didn't send kids in with a cold. Schools (well heads, anyway) WANT you to send your kid in with a cold, because absence rates are a massive thing with OFSTED.

And of course, if your child's teacher was constantly off to care for her own kid with a cold, you'd not be happy either.

Of course working parents rely on school for working during school hours. Parents would lose their jobs if they kept their child home for every sniffle.

Oh OP you're getting a hard time here!

Depending on what I was doing I would possibly pick her up. You know your child, if you thought she was fine this morning and had work today then I think YANBU

If you're at home then possibly YABU

That said, I've always run a tight ship with mine. I've perhaps sent them in with borderline illness. It's a fine line really, you don't want them to end up flakey thinking they can be off due to minor inconveniences.

Are you covering up fevers by giving calpol in the mornings? Is that within regulations?

The op didn't say little sniffle though. She said a bad cold.

my daughter had a sniffle one morning and I sent her in, when I picked her up she had lost her voice completely. I felt awful and I asked the teacher why they hadn’t called me and she said ‘not many parents want to come and pick up their kids in these circumstances’. Which I think is pretty disgusting.
Go pick up your kid.

I once got called to pick up my kid when he coughed and made himself throw up. He used to be really bad for hitting his gag reflex by mistake! Suspicions were confirmed when I got him home that he was absolutely fine, but he still got stuck at home for nearly three days because of vomiting. You have to let the school decide when they are not accepting them in unfortunately.

But you were initially - which was what I was referring to. Forgive me for not reading your update. Still in disbelief that you would come online and write a post to strangers about it rather than just go and get your kid.

If your at home then yes pick her up.

Oh, just stop it @HomeschoolMum88. You keep saying stuff just to be goady. Going by your username, presumably if you love your child(ren) you should be homeschooling at this hour on a Monday rather than spewing bile on Mumsnet?

The fact that you would resort to this kind of language tells me all I need to know about you.

At this hour? It’s night time where I am.

And my comment was legitimate. There’s no way I’d allow my child to suffer when they’re ill. As a responsible parent, you do the right thing and collect them.

The fact you appear so triggered says more about you :-)

Of course working parents rely on schools. However, schools are not childcare settings, they are a place of education and that is their primary focus. They do not operate like a nursery. A teacher or teaching assistant can not provide one to one care for a child who is clingy and not feeling well. It can be incredibly frustrating as a parent to get a phone call from the school asking you to collect but your needs as a working parent do not trump the responsibility the teacher has to carry out their job.

Triggered? 😂😂😂😂

I don't have children. But thank you for your interest.

Thank you for saying what I said but in a much more polite way that didn’t get removed by MN 😂

The child isn’t ill - it’s a cough and cold. Thankfully DC’s school was reasonable and i often worked more than an hour away and DH is a doctor - I’m sure his patients would have appreciated him leaving surgery for DS having coughed!

She wouldn't be sending her to school for a proper education if she didn't love her.

Of course their primary focus is education but childcare is part of it too.

If OP's child was so poorly, they would've wanted her to collect ASAP which they didn't. I don't blame OP for pausing and wondering how necessary it really is since they weren't asking for DD to be picked up immediately.

Especially if her job is vital for DD to have a roof over her head, clothes on her back and food in her stomach.

Interest? I’ve no interest in you at all. Strange…