AIBU to not pick 4 year old DD from school?

[marshyrun]

DD2 is 4 and in reception. She’s had the usual on off cough / colds since starting in September and is just coming to the end of a bad cold, she went to school throughout with me just giving her calpol in the mornings.

She woke up today absolutely fine, had breakfast, in good spirits. Still a slight cough but had some calcough before leaving.

School have just called to say her teacher has said she’s not herself, they checked her temp (all fine), she doesn’t feel sick or anything, they’ve said she’s just being quiet and clingy and not enthusiastic about participating in some of the activities. They’ve asked me to come and collect her if she’s still being “clingy” after lunch.

AIBU to not pick her up unless she’s actually poorly? I’m the first one to drive to school if my child is poorly but this doesn’t seem to be the case today. She’s naturally shy and quiet anyway so her being reserved is not out of character at all!

OP already took her to the GP.

The cold started just before half term so she had a week at home with me (I was off) to chill and get over it, after a week - before she went back to school (was still coughing) I took her to the doctors. They said let it run its course and just get calcough to ease the tickly throat. She had no temperature. I’ve not been dosing her up like PPs have said. The calcough is just to ease the throat.

In that post the father picked up the injured child. A friend picked up their other child after school. Parents are still responsible for their kids when they are at school. If they carnt pick them up during the school if needed they should appoint someone who can.

Haven’t RTFT but I would pick her up if I could. She’s 4 and school has rung.
Is there some contextual info we aren’t aware of?
i am a teacher (on short lunch break!) and it is very hard for me to pick up in the middle of day as have to arrange ‘emergency’ cover so would avoid unless absolutely necessary or would see if a family member could pick up.

They did a mate picked her up at pick up time. The people on this thread might as well tell young men and women not to have children. Food, gas, electric and rent/mortgage is all going up better off closing our legs. At least the op will keep her job and the economy going.

She is an only 4. Teachers have not got the time to be nurses. You’re her mum. Pick her up and give her cuddles.

If a teachers child has a cold and the school contacts the teacher and asks them to drop teaching primary school children to pick up their child. What do you think they would say in response?

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't with sick kids.

The person ringing you to pick up your kid and reminding you of the 48 hour rule will turn around and give you a threatening attendance letter after excluding them from attendance rewards.

I offered DS1's teacher to bring him in with a sick bucket next time, but she didn't seem keen on the idea.

This scenario would never happen. Because apparently there are two categories of people - "parents" and people who do important jobs. And in la-la land, the two don't overlap. The only jobs "parents" do involve sitting at desks and they can walk out at a moment's notice to retrieve their offspring, although their boss might get a bit cross and they may have to make up the time in the evening.

Not parents.

Mothers.

Fathers don't have the same pressure. Some nurseries/schools will automatically call the mother even if the dad is first on the contact list and available.

You are talking like I don't understand this, like I don't have kids of my own. I do and have been in situations many times having to pick up my kids. I still pick them up because they are my responsibility.

That's awesome! I like how you think!

Thanks for all the replies. Thought I'd post a little update. I spoke to the TA in my daughters class yesterday, she apologised that she didn't get chance to speak to me when I collected my daughter on Monday but said that my daughter was tearful that morning because her normal teacher (Mrs M) wasn't in, they had a cover instead. Now, this might not be a big deal to some kids but to my daughter it is. Since she started private nursery, school nursery, Reception she's always had one worker / teacher that she gravitates to the most - in Reception it's Mrs M. She was upset about Mrs M not being there, the cover was trying to get her to participate in phonics and because she was still tearful, she just didn't want to do it - hence being "clingy" with the TA. She did say, after they called me, it was playtime and she was absolutely fine playing in the mud kitchen, running about - but as I work 45-50 mins away I'd already set off to get her at this point.

My daughter is absolutely fine, happy and her normal self. She still has a bit of a cough, as do I, but I'm not keeping her off with that. She has Calcough in the mornings. A few posters mentioned taking her to the GP - I did! We had a week off together during half term start of Nov and I took her to the GP in case it was a chest infection. They said no, it's viral, let it run its course and the cough should get better in 3-4 weeks. It's been about 2.5 weeks since that GP appt.

I think I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't here, the headteacher sends newsletters out every Friday and usually his main points are on attendance and the amount of children being off. He has explicitly said that children with coughs and colds are just part of the norm and not to keep off. If she was drained, not eating or sleeping then of course she would definitely stay at home with me. She isn't. She doesn't have a temp.

Like I've mentioned, I do have to work, I've got nobody else to pick up the slack. No family. All my friends work full time and have kids of their own. That's not to say I never take time off, I've had 6 days off sick this year (for the kids, not myself). If I took sick days every time either of my children had a cold I'd be off every other week.

I'm not a bad parent, I love my children more than anything in the world. I'd like to say I'm coping pretty well doing it on my own, I'm just trying my best to keep us fed and warm, with hopefully a bit left over to pay for their hobbies and have nice Christmas!

Sorry for the long update.. didn't want to post and disappear! 😊

Would a teacher do the same thing in the same scenario?

Op I’m sorry but I agree with the others. They only say if they actually seem ill. Poor girl isn’t herself and has already been unwell enough to have Calpol. It’s not nice for the other kids either.

All the teachers I know do if they carnt get a friend or relative to pick them up. So the answer is yes.

If you've been dosing her up and sending her in throughout a bad cold, she's probably absolutely exhausted and run down. Also, her immunity will be on the floor, so don't be surprised if she comes down with another bug. Poor little mite.

As for the breathtaking selfishness of you merrily sending an infectious child into school for days...ugh. Just appalling.

I have 4 children I have never known a teacher to drop her class to pick up her child.

Read the update

Not even if they get cover?don't believe that unless family or friends pick them up.

The thing is, if we kept our childen off because they were "clingy", we'd have the school hounding us about attendance. Seems a bit of a double standard here.

I got a call to pick my daughter up once because she had an itchy eye. I went and picked her up and moved on with my life.

Can't speak for anyone else but my son wants to be at pre-school no matter how poorly he is, and if I kept him off every time he was poorly, he'd never be there x

In my experience a teacher for 30 4 year olds do not take the time out of their day to call a parent if they don't think it is needed. I would always pick up a child if I get a call. Especially if they are 4!

Don’t know how long ago this was but it’s a bit late in the day to ask on here don’t you think ?

For a couple of hours get a cover teacher in highly unlikely. People do need to work 😕