To think preferences should be taken into account?

[SuiGeneris]

So: we are spending Christmas with MIL, as every year. Every year she orders a turkey etc and everyone is expected to have some of that and the vegetables. The children and I don't like turkey, so we mostly eat vegetables and just have the smallest decent slice of turkey possible, for appearances' sake.

Yet I do find it odd that no attempt is made to try other things we might dislike less. After all, judging from supermarkets, there are plenty of alternatives people consider and it is well-known none of us like eating meat. We are not vegetarian but just don't like it that much. DH takes the view the kids need to be exposed to Christmas traditions and I am a grown up so can work around the turkey.

Is turkey really such a big deal for Brits? Surely if it isn't a treat it would be better not to have the kids associate Christmas with a meal they have to endure?

Or AIBU and we should just put up with it, after all it is only one day?

Not had a dry turkey in years as I wrap it in bacon.

I think many of the replies on here are unnecessary in tone. The OP is just wondering what the norm is. And many people wouldn't insist on cooking something their regular guests don't like much so all the people posting how ungrateful a guest the OP is are only representing part of the population.

The many, many threads from people wondering what to cook at Christmas for their family and friends with different dietary requirements demonstrates how common this is, as do the responses that anyone posting 'I make turkey, end of' get when that happens. @SuiGeneris I'd have a look in the Christmas or Food and Drink threads to see how many times this sort of thing comes up and the variety of foods.

There are also a LOT of threads discussing how many of the Christmas traditions are observed under sufferance because of the preferences and demands of other family members. We fit into other people's lives because that's how society works most of the time; we compromise and accommodate. But it doesn't mean expressing a degree of unhappiness about it anonymously in a different place makes us nasty people - the posters attacking the OP on here must be reading a different thread to me.

I love turkey (and contrary to some posters ) it's never dry.

But I realise not everyone is a turkey-lover so always do beef and pork. (I'd do a salmon as well but no-one wants it. Also, a veggie option.

Roll on Turkey at Christmas.

I’m not a fan of turkey and neither our my parents they’d do chicken or beef usually, I’m doing turkey for dp and children and a nut roast for myself this year, as I usually just have the veg.

We alternate who hosts in my family and we also all being a dish. Means we get a great spread as everyone puts lots of effort into their contribution without anyone being lumped with all the work. Of course the host ends up doing more than others but as we take turns that’s ok.

We tend to have a mix of meats, beef, pheasant/mixed bird roast.

I’ve never had dry turkey and the leg meat is fab plus all the sides. I’m doing traditional Christmas dinner and haven’t asked for preferences… I’m not running a restaurant and if I’m cooking I’ll cook what I want to eat. If guests want something different they can go somewhere else.

YANBU

there's a reason that Tesco and all the other supermarkets and all the adverts show about 5 different meats and vegetarian offerings... Christmas isn't just about Turkey. MIL sounds like she may need a poke, offer to take a nut roast or other suitable addition to "add" to the table. You're not asking her to cook anything else, you're not offending her, simply helping.

If I was hosting a meal and I knew full well that the majority of people didn’t enjoy it I’d feel awful. Especially people I loved ie grandchildren. Tradition is overrated.
YANBU

We never cook turkey in our house, it's still Christmas, with Lamb, Beef and Pork..

I used to bring veggie burgers and just fry them and have the potatoes and other trimmings but skip the turkey. These days there are 3 of us who don’t eat meat so we all chip in for a veggie roast and have that alongside the other bits. My mum doesn’t mind at all as long as it’s nothing complicated that will take lots of time or prep and that one of us cooks it.

It’s not a big deal and not over complicated - I think it would be different if we took out a curry and didn’t eat anything she cooked or if we decided we were making something from scratch and started taking up kitchen space.

We are spending the day with MIL and she is doing goose and nut roast, neither of which i'll eat or my kids.

So we are having our turkey xmas dinner on xmas eve as a compromise.

This has got to be one of the most entitled posts I’ve seen on here. I am betting that this has absolutely nothing to do with ‘Turkey’ and more to do with the fact that you clearly don’t like your mother in law and probably don’t want to spend Xmas with her and therefore looking for anyway you can to make her the bad guy, even though she is hosting and cooking a dinner for you and your whole family. Poor woman. It’s hard work cooking a dinner for loads of people and your sat there I bet not disguising the fact you don’t like it, even though it’s a traditional Christmas dinner! It sounds to me like what ever she cooked you’d have a problem with

Even if you don't like turkey, surely there must be something you and the DCs like from the pigs in blankets, stuffing, roast potatoes and veg.
Yes it is traditional in the UK for most people to have a turkey dinner. It's traditional. It's one meal. When MIL is unable to cook any more, you can have what you want.

If it's meat you don't like OP could you take some vegetarian canapé type things that would go with the dinner?
Something like mini cranberry & Brie parcels would go well with a small slice of Turkey, a sausage & lots of bread sauce.

I also recommend a meat thermometer. Turkey needs to come out at about 67 degrees. It will reach the magic 75 degrees while resting, and be much juicier if it's not overcooked.

I enjoy the traditional dinner (If done well), but I enjoy people's company more. We'll be warming up a curry so nobody has to spend the day in the kitchen.

Ultimately of course it is rude not to eat the meal provided if you have accepted an invitation, but a "are you sure you want to go to all that trouble, we'd be fine with something simpler" ahead of time might be ok?

Honestly turkey is so bland , I totally get people not enjoying it but am surprised to hear of people 'hating it' it's pretty inoffensive as meats go.
The trimmings are always the best bits anyway. If it's important to your mil then I would suck it up and fill up on the good stuff.

YABU, if you were hosting, you could choose, if you're going to somebody else's house, you get on and eat the turkey.

I love turkey, I wouldn’t even consider having anything else on Christmas Day, I think if you want something else you need to take it with you.

Why don’t you bring an alternative that you like? I agree, Turkey is a bit dry for me. Have to cover it in gravy :)

I think fine to suggest including some traditional alternative options like ham, goose, pigs in blankets, nut roast etc

I dislike when people try to suggest eating something totally different with zero nod to the traditional roast.

All the people saying turkey is dry etc are cooking it wrong

Hate turkey. We have beef and gammon. Eating something just because it's "traditional" makes zero sense to me.

I don't agree with these "she hosts so it's her choice" comments. Not one bit. A host should cater for their guests. I would never provide food that my guests didn't like. Its just wrong. I'm vegetarian so no turkey here. I couldn't care less about the "tradition".

As a host, I'd be really irritated if a guest asked me to cook an extra chicken because they preferred it to turkey

This is about the 20billionth time someone has said this.

Some of us find it dry, bland and sad. Yes, I brine, I stick whole pounds of butter under the skin, I baste, I rest, I do all that. I'm a fabulous cook. It's still dry compared to meats that are naturally marbled with fat or fatty generally. I LIKE goose, duck, lamb. I like the naturally fatty things like pork belly. Anything you're doing to a turkey is just an approximation of what the fattier meats do all by themselves.

And it's annoying to be told. I typically like food very 'wet', fatty and condimented. Spicy, salty etc. I think I'm just into sensation. Just because you think turkey can be made juicy enough for YOU doesn't mean it is for ME. There's only so much gravy in the world.

I accept when someone tells me they find pork belly with chilli mayonnaise and buttery spinach 'too rich'. I don't tell them they're cooking it wrong. Turkey isn't rich enough.