Boyfriend hurt me on purpose during sex

[Feelingsad192]

I just need some advice because he won't speak to me, he's upset with me and is acting like I've done something wrong.

Boyfriend and I were having sex (after an argument about me feeling like he doesn't care about my pleasure during sex as he never makes an effort to finish me off)

While having sex he asked me to turn over, I have endometriosis and this position is very painful for me. We do that position occasionally (it's not always painful depending on time of the month) this time I said no as I knew it would hurt he asked again I said no again so he grabbed my leg and put it on his shoulder- a position I have never liked and he knows hurts me and at this time in my cycle it is exceptionally painful so I screamed. I started crying from the pain and he's stormed off mad.
I've asked him to speak to me, he doesn't want to, he's upset with me, I have no idea what I did.
I'm in so much pain, it's really uncomfortable and painful.
I've told him I'm in pain, he doesn't seem to give a shit.

OP, nothing will change. You pain is part of his pleasure. He's gettjng off on it.

Make a report wifh the police and have a word with your landlord: a contract is only an agreement and can be ended if both parties agree.

The advice to put valuable items in a safe place away from him is good so follow it. Can you sleep seperately? Discuss the situation with HR; they should be able to help. If you work for a large company they can move you.

Don't worry. You will get out of this situation and life will be better for you.

I don't feel unsafe with him, as said it wasn't always like this.

They get worse @Feelingsad192 , it's what abusers do.

Here's a thing about how to make a safety plan- if you don't feel safe to write it on the online form or whatever, you could at least think about the answers.

https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/

I cannot scream this loudly enough. LEAVE THIS APOLOGY OF A HUMAN BEING. He's deliberately hurt you, and now HE'S sulking?! Wtf. You deserve soooo much better.

So not only has he hurt you on purpose physically, but is now playing on your emotions by making you feel guilty for his childish sulk.

He is a pathetic man child. Imagine a lifetime of dealing with his selfishness, his immaturity and most importantly his violence.

Split up with him.

Leave, just leave. You will find a way to go through this, honest. Ask for an emergency appointment with the GP tomorrow and tell them what happened, you need this incident recorded just in case he tries to force you to adhere to the contract.

Nobody can force you to go back “home” to a rapist, I do however think that you can be given protection and be allowed to stay put while keeping him out and at a safe distance.

And please please please stop making excuses for him, if he was NOT abusive in other ways you would be furious rather than excusing him. Making excuses for abuse is absolutely typical behaviour of abuse victims.

Make your plans and leave

Op I know you can’t leave just now but listen to what he’s said- he purposefully hurt you. He was angry with you, he didn’t like you saying no to him so he intentionally hurt you. He then ignored you and made you feel even worse about it. He now still doesn’t understand the big deal.

He has abused you.

I know you felt safe before and this is the first time but please be careful. This may be the first time and there could be more times.

You say you won’t be having sex with him again and I fully understand that but my worry is he won’t be accepting of that.

You two argued about sex, most people would cool off for a while before having sex but you two then jusg had sex, he was still angry and wanted to hurt you.

Do you drive? Are your friends and family within a close-ish travelling distance? If so then I’d be staying somewhere else tonight.

Please tell someone in real life. I think you’re in a bit of shock just now and are more worried about him being upset but I’m sorry lovely, you’ve been abused.

OP please listen to the women on here who speak from experience.

Do not be embarrassed to tell anyone in real life. It is not your shame but his. If you start with women's aid they will have heard this before and they will support you through this.

You can seek an occupation order under the Family Law Act to exclude him from your home. There are other potential remedies too, depending on circumstances.

I suggest you contact a legal aid solicitor first thing tomorrow. You can Google family legal aid solicitors for your area. There is still legal aid for domestic abuse cases.

You have been horribly abused. I hope you seek and get help quickly.

He just admitted that he did it on purpose because he was pissed off at me.

He's a psychopath. This is so far from the thinking of a normal person it isn't even in the same ballpark. If he will do this what else will he do?
Please, please do not believe you are safe with this man.

Leave - and quick. It’s possible the incident was him letting his frustration/embarrassment/insecurity about his inability to satisfy you getting the better of him, rather than he doesn’t care for you at all. But either way, it’s physical abuse.

If you can't leave tonight, please at least sleep in a spare room and wedge a door chock or a flip-flop under the door to keep him out.

OMFG

You know what you have to do. Sorry 💐

I think I’d be saying no more sex till re builds trust and in Jean time sorting out your finances to leave and going anywhere friends couch etc

More than that, having sex with a person in a way that goes against their wishes is rape.

This isn’t just assault OP, it is rape.

make arrangements to leave as soon as you can.

What he did was truly vile, so while he may not have hurt you before it’s very possible he will again now the line has been crossed.

Women’s aid can provide advice.

Please listen to the excellent advice here. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

See a GP via an emergency appointment so the incident is recorded.
Contact anyone you trust and who could help you with a place to stay for a bit so you can get out - even if it's a sofa for a few weeks. It's better than staying under the same roof as an abuser.
Speak to your landlord about potentially ending your tenancy sooner than contracted. In circumstances of domestic abuse they may be willing to help. It isn't like there's a shortage of tenants at the moment.
Speak to Women's Aid for support and advice.

Good luck and please value yourself and your future happiness enough to get out of this relationship. Whatever you dream of in your future, it cannot be to have your abuser in your life.

wedge a door chock or a flip-flop under the door to keep him out.

That isn't going to keep a guy like this out if he wants to get in.

I think once your partner has raped you it’s some way past the point you can regain trust

I'm really hoping that "saying no more sex until trust rebuilt" is merely a ruse that you are suggesting that OP uses to buy time.

I have no idea what you expect anyone to say- he's a piece of shit, leave him. That's all there is to say.

It makes opening the door noisy enough to wake OP and slows him down a little so that she can reach for her phone and dial 999. BTW OP, if you dial 999 and then press 55 when the call handler answers, that tells them that you're in a DV situation where it's not safe for you to talk to the call handler and they will send the police out.

You may qualify for a place in a women’s refuge, if you don’t know where to go.

He has admitted that he hurt you during sex intentionally as a punishment because he was angry with you. How could you ever trust this man with your body again? Please, please, please make a plan to leave.

I would go to Police and make a statement of what happened. Then ask solicitor whether you can get out of contract, or sue the blighter for your half of the contract. No way do you want to stay there with him.