Boyfriend hurt me on purpose during sex

[Feelingsad192]

I just need some advice because he won't speak to me, he's upset with me and is acting like I've done something wrong.

Boyfriend and I were having sex (after an argument about me feeling like he doesn't care about my pleasure during sex as he never makes an effort to finish me off)

While having sex he asked me to turn over, I have endometriosis and this position is very painful for me. We do that position occasionally (it's not always painful depending on time of the month) this time I said no as I knew it would hurt he asked again I said no again so he grabbed my leg and put it on his shoulder- a position I have never liked and he knows hurts me and at this time in my cycle it is exceptionally painful so I screamed. I started crying from the pain and he's stormed off mad.
I've asked him to speak to me, he doesn't want to, he's upset with me, I have no idea what I did.
I'm in so much pain, it's really uncomfortable and painful.
I've told him I'm in pain, he doesn't seem to give a shit.

OP, I was exactly where you are 6 months ago. I realise it seems huge and scary and impossible to leave but please do it! Is there a friend you can go to? Family etc?

Long story short, I had a boyfriend similar to yours, hurting me during sex, not stopping when I asked etc. It only gets worse (and I hate to say it but it will get worse). Please please find a way to leave. I ended up staying for 10 years before I had the courage to leave and I really really wish I could have done it sooner. I'm safe now but even though I knew I had to leave it was the single scariest thing Ive done in my life.

I know the contact makes you feel like you have to stay but honestly there are ways around everything, dont feel you have to stay because of this.

Find someone/somewhere you can go, you deserve so much better than this. Like I said, I know exactly how you must feel right now, I wish I had the courage to leave sooner than I did, just please get out.

Yeah seriously leave as fast as you can. Never have sex with him again. From the sounds of it you don't have children or a mortgage together, that is the good news, make sure you never do.

apparently it's not up to me how the sex goes(?)

You absolutely have a right to a say in how the sex goes. You absolutely have the right to tell him NO for any reason and he should obey your BO.

This man is a rapist. I am so sorry to tell you this, but I can't not tell you that he has raped you.

Do not attempt to reason with him, you are wasting your time.

Do you feel safe calling the police? Is there somewhere you can go, even a friend's sofa for the night? Could you get into your workplace tonight and sleep on the floor there?

He sexually hurt you to punish you. He's a sadistic rapist.

OP you can leave and go to Women's Aid.

You are being physically and sexually abused.

You are with a violent man who cares NOTHING for you, only for HIS sexual pleasure. If it hurts you he doesn't care.

The world would be a better place if he dropped dead - right now would be a bonus.

Leave now for your sake. Go to the Police if you can't think of anywhere else to turn, they will have contacts with Women's Refuges.

Pack a bag of essentials and get out.

Leave him

Preferably now.

I'm afraid I have no other word for him but CUNT!!

If he has no empathy for you now, what would he be like when you're pregnant/seriously ill etc?

This is not a man who deserves a partner, OP. He has some serious growing up to do.

Let him go learn that lesson on his own or with some or poor woman.

Bless you, nobody deserves to be treated like that.

So he doesn’t care about your pleasure or pain, and he has taken it further this time by trying to rape you this time and he is offended part? Honestly OP run fast and far while you still can, you are already well into the downward spiral of domestic abuse. You don’t need to wait until he break your nose or anything like that.

The sooner you leave, the less difficult it will be. Domestic abuse is like boiling frogs, you need to jump out of the pan before you lose your strength.

He's upset that he raped you?

Do not be gaslit. Can you go somewhere safe this eve? Away from him?

Leave NOW and NEVER look back

He is sadistic @Feelingsad192 , enjoys hurting you and that won't change- well in fact it'll get worse. Lots of us have been there or know women who have.

Dump this rapist.

He sexually assaulted you deliberately. He is an abuser. Be clear with him that it was sexual assault and as such your relationship is over. He is trying to out his actions on you as being your fault. It is jot. That is what domestic abusers do and it does nit and will not get better. Seek support to leave asap. He is a total shit and you deserve better.

He hurt you on purpose . How would it be if you'd kicked him in the nuts ? That's hurting someone on purpose.

If you can't realistically leave right now then move into a spare room . Talk to friends and family . If you were my daughter you'd be out of there quicker than I can explain.

There will be a way to leave . Find it , tak to friends and family .

This piece of shit has abused you and if you were my dd god help him because I'd rip his fucking head off .
Get out of this hideous relationship op.

HE ABUSEED YOU.

He should be grovelling and even if he did you should be telling him to FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

Have some self-worth, OP. He cannot be trusted.

You know you need to leave him.

He's hurting you on purpose to teach you a lesson. It is only going to get worse from here.

Oh OP that's awful. Stabbing is exactly what it can feel like, but he wouldn't have any empathy.
Is there anyone like friends or family you can borrow money from to move ?

Grab his balls during sex and squeeze really hard, see what he thinks about that pain and ask how it's any different. You do need to leave him, sounds like a selfish prick.

I wouldn't confront him @Feelingsad192 , don't swear at him, don't tell him he's a rapist, don't anything. This man is dangerous, he already surprised you with deliberate violence so you know he's capable of it and more.

Just call WA when you have time and secretly make a safety plan to leave ASAP

However hard this feels like now, it's very clear the best thing is to move on from this relationship. He is showing you exactly what is he. Don't be gaslight by this terrible man.

Please leave him. He raped you, he doesn’t see it that way but that’s what it is. You’re not making this a big thing. You said no and he did it anyway. He has shown you he doesn’t care about consent, he will do this again because at least he hasn’t “stabbed you”! Wtf! Please leave him.
I really wish you the best - you deserve more.

He is an arsehole - You are not there just as a blow up doll to service his needs

If nothing else please talk to women's aid. The contract issue may be able to be sorted. How long do you have left on the contract?

Please stop trying to talk to him. Theres is something really concerning about a person who would punish a partner by being sexually violent towards them. That requires a certain coldness and lack of empathy that is genuinely terrifying. Can you ever imagine doing that to a person? When they're at their most vulnerable?

And the bit about him saying that you don't get to choose how the sex goes? You're literally living with a rapist. He sounds like some sort of psychopath. I know that you said that you feel safe but I could really try to consider that perhaps your judgement on that is off - there is every chance that a person who does this to their partner out of anger will escalate.

Just end this relationship. He is horrible.

Leave him and don't look back, what a vile piece of shit he is.