Boyfriend hurt me on purpose during sex

[Feelingsad192]

I just need some advice because he won't speak to me, he's upset with me and is acting like I've done something wrong.

Boyfriend and I were having sex (after an argument about me feeling like he doesn't care about my pleasure during sex as he never makes an effort to finish me off)

While having sex he asked me to turn over, I have endometriosis and this position is very painful for me. We do that position occasionally (it's not always painful depending on time of the month) this time I said no as I knew it would hurt he asked again I said no again so he grabbed my leg and put it on his shoulder- a position I have never liked and he knows hurts me and at this time in my cycle it is exceptionally painful so I screamed. I started crying from the pain and he's stormed off mad.
I've asked him to speak to me, he doesn't want to, he's upset with me, I have no idea what I did.
I'm in so much pain, it's really uncomfortable and painful.
I've told him I'm in pain, he doesn't seem to give a shit.

This is rape. You said no. He carried on. You’ve been raped. Leave him. It will keep happening

Please contact your GP first thing in the morning and let them know you have been raped.

I think you need to be checked for injuries.

You poor woman.

He truly is scum.

I think you should text him that you are so upset that he would deliberately hurt you during sex in anger, and now tell you are making a fuss because you cried in pain.

You poor woman.

If you report him he could be removed from the house or perhaps Women's aid could find you somewhere safe.

I'm so sorry.

I'd try to get him to confirm your conversation in writing, so you have evidence of what he did to you.

Please get some therapy to help you see this isn't normal.

Seconding the poster that said "If you were my daughter you'd be out of there quicker than I can explain." Yes this is get in the car and drive all night if necessary to collect you right now territory.

If you have a job can you sleep on the couch of a co-worker. Don't try to talk to him, don't tell him your plans. By all mean tell him you need to time to think but DO NOT FORGIVE DO NOT FORGET just get yourself on the other side of a locked door.

Don't worry about his finances, don't worry about his bills. They are not your problem. If you don't have a job get a coach or train tomorrow to somewhere you do have people.

I'm so sorry OP, I hope you're ok. You don't deserve to be treated that way especially by someone who is meant to care about you! I fear that kind of behaviour would only get worse with time, I think you should leave him

My ex did similar (yes, that's right, my EX). I waited til he left for work then I rang the sexual assault referral centre at 5am. They told me to go in (not to have a shower) and I was treated with kindness and sympathy. They took swabs and a statement. Just because he's your current partner doesn't mean it's OK or you had hurt his ego!!!! I didn't leave immediately as I had to get my ducks in a row, but after speaking to the police, women's aid etc I was eventually moved to a place of safety. Don't minimise what he's done.

You can’t reason with him he’s irrational.

He hurt you on purpose and admits it! Thats shocking! He thinks you are his property for sex how he wants….

He needs to become your ex as soon as you can leave.

https://fullfact.org/online/police-track-location-999-call/ Mechanism and limitations. In particular, cell phone location triangulation isn't deemed reliable.

If you can keep a landline handset with you as well as your mobile, do so.

I'm sorry OP but him saying it's not up to you how it goes is the mindset of a rapist, pure and simple. Start gathering your support circle and making plans.

He was very close to rape, don’t waste your life with him.

💐 It’s not your fault. Agree with others that you need to keep yourself safe whilst you exit this relationship. Do you have a friend or family member who can support you?

Just awful. Abusive bastard.

Please leave him.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20worried%20that,day%20on%200808%202000%20247.

I am so sad to hear this and especially your last update.

I understand you don't feel unsafe but you said he wouldn't behave like this earlier in your relationship, doesn't that make you worry about the direction of travel?

I know sometimes the obstacles to leaving can seem huge, in this case, having somewhere you can rent on your own but if you contact women's aid they'll help you come up with a plan I hear, then at least you have someone you can check in with.

I'm worried for you, please keep yourself safe x

All of this. Please be careful, OP. This isn't a good person.

This

How dare he roughly and deliberately cause you pain during sex, and now punish you yet further with the silent treatment and gaslighting. Utter cunt.

This

Don’t ever let this abuser touch you again.

He was very close to rape,

It is violent rape that he committed.

Absolute scumbag! Every single person in here has said no, that's not OK so I'm hoping that's given you the confidence to stand your ground and leave. On another note, he's lucky you're clearly a lovely person because if a guy had done that to me you can guarantee he'd be wearing his balls as a necklace! Regardless of why you said no, the fact is you said no! Any decent guy would have listened to you the first time and then if they'd realised they had hurt you by accident they would have felt terrible and apologised profusely. The fact that he stormed off just rings massive alarm bells, you need to make your head shout louder than your heart on this one lovely xxx

Ring us at Womens Aid for advice and support.
This is abuse, sexually, possibly financial abuse, psychological. I think youd benefit from the freedom programme but first steps first. Please ring us. We can support with accommodation and benefit advice x

He doesn't give a flying about you.
Sorry.

This will not get better. Please leave him and be safe

Leave now, this is horrific of him. If he doesn't care for you now when will he care for you sexually?