He’s done it again

[Soshitatgifts]

Long time user with name change here!

Firstly I KNOW this is a bit of a non problem and I’m being a bit of a brat!

DH and I had a discussion and decided that Christmas would be pared right back this year -absolutely not an issue.
I told him all I wanted was a dressing gown and slippers, and due to previous history was very quite specific about the kind of thing I wanted, and only just stopped short of sending him actual link wish I had now. Basically a cosy but still “nice” dressing gown and fairly structure slippers which I could wear outside, hanging out washing etc-think faux sheepskin mules kind of thing.

He said to me this morning “don’t look at the Amazon account, there are deliveries coming for me”

Being me of COURSE I looked 😳and he’s ordered the most fucking hideous dressing gown, think oversized checked lumberjack shirt, and marshmallow like slippers.

AIBU to give it a couple of days and “innocently” bombard him with links to what I’d actually like? I’m a terrible actress when it comes to opening disappointing presents, and I know that no matter how cold it gets, I won’t be wearing that dressing gown!

Im currently filling my own christmas stocking each time i see something i like

Definitely send him links (and cancel orders if you can).

After years of disappointment I am now very very specific about what I want and usually tell DS as well. DH now gives me links to what he wants, I resisted this for a while as wanted to surprise him, but life is just easier and he is not remotely sentimental about Christmas gifts and just thinks everyone should get what they want. He's right but I find his attitude a bit deflating. You might as well not bother and buy for yourself.

DH and I take a day off work each year, usually a Friday around 15th.
We have a leisurely breakfast out at a nice cafe and choose a gift for ourselves and thats Xmas done. We also buy and last minute gifts for family.

Over the years he has bought me some expensive hum dingers so this is what makes sense to us.
I don't need or want surprises.

I love both of them, I would have been over the moon with them.

I would be grateful for what I got tbh, or else buy them yourself and ask for the money.

I think they are both lovely. And fit the brief your husband was given so he deserves credit.

But why? Why should OP protect his feelings and buy her own present and hide it?

Whilst he gets to enjoy a thoughtful present?

Agreed. I can't even see the issue anyway. They fit the description. But calling them hideous and going on and on about them is beyond ungrateful. If anyone ever made such a fuss over a gift I got them then it would be the last gift they get.

Go on Amazon account and cancel them. Put the ones you want in the basket or send him links

I was expecting something utterly horrific the way you described them. I think they matched your description and are quite nice. I would be grateful for them!

But he did think about her present. And who's to say he will think her present to him is so wonderful.

I’d wear those! They’re cute.

If you want a certain item or style then you need to say so. "Cosy and nice" leaves far too much room for interpretation.

I actually like both the items he's picked and they certainly fit under the "cosy and nice" description that you gave him.

I can relate. My husband of many many years will pick out something pink if left to his own devices. I’m much more white/grey. Is it conditioning for them to think pink is nice/cheerful/what women want?!

Does he realise he's bought size 7/8? Has he ordered them for himself?

He hasn’t thought about it, he’s ignored OP’s specific instructions.

And people want OP to reward him by doing a complicated process of buying something else, unwrapping the shitty gifts, secretly wrapping the new gifts to resemble the shitty gifts in the same wrapping paper, and then have to stutter out an explanation on Christmas Day as to why the items changed, thereby giving HIM the moral high ground.

Ridiculous.

Maybe that's OP's size? Lots of women have size seven feet.

I feel your pain OP. I’m single now and it’s such a relief not to go through this with ex!

In the end I would just tell him a few things I would like - specific things like this dressing gown from this brand, this lamp from this brand, this particular book, etc. he could choose which to get and choose things like what colour (if relevant).

He didn’t like it as he always insisted presents should be a surprise. But it was just too excruciating as like you I hate opening presents in front of people and having to act.

presents for him also had to be a surprise and then he’d always be unenthusiastic, never use them, or exchange them. Pointless atTo rude all round. And I would also have been fine with not exchanging presents at all but oh no that wasn’t allowed either!

sorry seem to be having a rant…

Honestly, I think you are coming across as a complete nightmare and think you've got off really lightly in these comments! If you want something specific, buy it yourself! I never understand people who ask for something as a gift when they know full well they have an exact thing in mind and would be upset with anything that wasn't how they pictured it. Why not suggest something less problematic for a present and buy the dressing gown and granny slippers yourself?

Also, as a sidenote. The slippers outside thing is really grim. Can't get my head around why anyone would wear slippers to 'nip outside' in. That's rank.

Pointless atTo rude sorry meant “pointless attitude “

No more information needed.

Shoot him!

Then send a link.

To be fair he did get that part right-I wear size 7 shoes 😂

I like those and I'd be delighted with both, send them to me instead if you don't want them 🤣🤣🤣

To those saying that I’m being ungrateful because I hate the lumberjack print, are you missing the part where I’ve said several times that it’s the most un-me thing he could have picked, I have always worn plain un-patterend clothes!

🤣