Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect husband to come home with me

161 replies

Pickledprawn · 19/11/2023 08:16

I am pregnant and having morning sickness. We went out with our group of friends last night for dinner. He was drinking and smoking (I didn't complain I am happy for him to enjoy himself). It came to the time we needed to leave for the babysitter but he didn't want to come home with me. Normally I wouldn't mind but I feel like he could at least offer some moral support with me being pregnant. It's not like he has to give anything up at all. For context, he doesn't go out much and I trust him but I know he would have gotten really drunk and been hungover all day today too. Should I have been ok with him staying out?

OP posts:
PortalooSunset · 19/11/2023 12:15

widowtwankywashroom · 19/11/2023 11:16

She might have meant the third, but she said the first.

Show quote history

But surely you could have made the inference? Confused

You just seem to enjoy being argumentative for the sake of it.

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/11/2023 12:42

Bbq1 · 19/11/2023 12:13

If some women love alcohol, swordfish and blue veined cheese so much probably best they don't get pregnant. No one forces them. Also, yes you put on weight but you can lose it again. If your clothes don't currently fit, get some new ones. Most exercise you can do safely up to birth, it's actually recommended. Fgs, it's only 9 months and a privilege to grow a life. It's really not, "giving up everything". Those of you who think pregnancy and motherhood is "shit" probably don't get pregnant again. Then you can have all the alcohol, food and clothes (that fit) that you can manage.

@Bbq1

so black and white! Not everyone can lose weight after so easy. Not everyone can do their usual exercise as there can be all sorts of pregnancy complications. Not everyone can afford to buy a whole new wardrobe and even if they can it’s hard to dress your body when it’s so different. Not being able to drink alcohol does make some social situations more difficult and it’s not being an alcoholic to admit that.

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/11/2023 12:44

PortalooSunset · 19/11/2023 12:15

But surely you could have made the inference? Confused

You just seem to enjoy being argumentative for the sake of it.

Show quote history

I know right! @widowtwankywashroom just seems determined to deny and invalidate the hardships of pregnancy…it’s bizarre

Concannon88 · 19/11/2023 12:52

He needs drink and cigarettes to enjoy himself? Why is being home for the babysitter your responsibility? Should have left together, you know, like a couple.

readingmakesmehappy · 19/11/2023 12:53

I would have wanted - expected even - my DH to come home with me in those circumstances.

Deathbyfluffy · 19/11/2023 12:55

Whataretheodds · 19/11/2023 08:21

Sorry you lost me at him smoking while you were in the room.

No problem, he did what he wanted last night, he can be on duty with your DC this morning. You go and do what you'd like to do.

I don't have an issue with my partner going out/staying out occasionally while I'm pregnant but he still needs to do his fair share at home, and once we have kids he doesn't get to opt out of parenting in the morning before he opted out the night before.

It’s not been legal to smoke in pubs / restaurants for about 15 years now - so it’s pretty safe to assume he wasn’t in the room doing it (as confirmed by the OP)

Bbq1 · 19/11/2023 12:56

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/11/2023 12:42

@Bbq1

so black and white! Not everyone can lose weight after so easy. Not everyone can do their usual exercise as there can be all sorts of pregnancy complications. Not everyone can afford to buy a whole new wardrobe and even if they can it’s hard to dress your body when it’s so different. Not being able to drink alcohol does make some social situations more difficult and it’s not being an alcoholic to admit that.

Show quote history

But equally it's not like that for everyone and it's black and white for the pp's on this thread claiming that pregnancy is "shit".

Deathbyfluffy · 19/11/2023 12:57

Missamyp · 19/11/2023 11:20

The Man wants to stop out, partner/wife says no- he's being unkind, and inconsiderate.
The woman wants to stop out, partner/husband says no- he's being controlling.

Yup, welcome to MN! 😆

LoeyBlueSky · 19/11/2023 13:03

Let you go home alone? Pregnant. Zero respect for you. Clearly.

margotrose · 19/11/2023 13:28

Happytimes123456 · 19/11/2023 12:03

Well same goes for that first comment. You can't say all pregnancy is shit.
I found it such a blessing to be pregnant!

Show quote history

Of course, but it's the sheer determination of some people on MN to completely disbelieve that anyone could possibly find pregnancy a bloody challenge that I was objecting to.

neilyoungismyhero · 18/12/2023 01:26

My husband stuffed me in a taxi on a NYE heavily pregnant due in 10 days- it was our first baby. Heavy slushy snow on the ground.
He didn't come home until around 5pm next day by which time I'd buggered off in a strop.
I wasn't amused and can understand how you feel exactly. Selfish bastard both of them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page