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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend won’t set up PayPal

266 replies

dessertorchide · 18/11/2023 20:27

Friend bought some tickets for my family as well as hers. Need to pay her back £200. Asked her PayPal but she doesn’t have an account. Have told her it’s very easy to set up but she doesn’t want to and has given bank details. Only problem is I don’t have the money in current account and want to use PayPal because it links to my credit card. She doesn’t want to wait until end of the month when I will have the cash. Don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
DNLove · 18/11/2023 20:44

Could you ask her to use your credit card to pay a couple of bills or do her online shop?
It's your obligation to be able to honour the debt.

Precipice · 18/11/2023 20:45

What did you agree about the time of repayment at the time of the tickets being bought?

You can't expect her to set up PayPal. PayPal may not be so bad to pay with, but it's awful to receive money on. I had a really bad experience. I was due a refund from a company for a defective item (pair of shoes that didn't last long), but they said they couldn't refund me directly to the card since they had changed their systems since the time of the transaction. They wanted a PayPal. PayPal then converted this automatically into another currency (despite PayPal policy being that you can choose to convert, since there's apparently a base currency), which meant that I did not get the full refund and owing to PayPal's currency conversion rate, lost out on IIRC something like 8 pounds. This was upsetting and irritating; I considered myself cheated.

It's not on the debtor to force a way of receiving payment on the creditor, unless the creditor is trying to insist on a method of repayment that's manifestly unreasonable (like if she demanded the 200 pounds all in 5p coins).

Original poster
dessertorchide · 18/11/2023 20:46

Hankunamatata · 18/11/2023 20:40

Thanks. Fees same as taking it out as cash tho. Over £50

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 18/11/2023 20:47

Don’t have PayPal and no family members do. So I think there must be other ways to pay people.

Katieg27 · 18/11/2023 20:49

Could you transfer the money to your own PayPal/bank account and withdraw the money?

Tinkerbyebye · 18/11/2023 20:50

It’s not her problem. So either take cash from your CC and sick up the interest, or see if you can borrow from elsewhere but she shouldn’t have to wait

TookTheBook · 18/11/2023 20:51

Sounds like you can't afford the tickets so maybe she should take someone else?

diddl · 18/11/2023 20:53

Why did she buy the tickets?

Seems it would have been better to put your own on your credit card!

JustAnotherManicMomday · 18/11/2023 20:55

Can you not pay it to a family member with PayPal in exchange for the cash? Win win for you both. Effectively family member transfers you 200 cash to your account and you PayPal it from cc back to their account.

Sunshineclouds11 · 18/11/2023 20:56

Yeah sorry it's not her problem.

For you to sort.

Can someone put the £200 in your bank account, you transfer to her, and you transfer from your CC back to first person?

Riverlee · 18/11/2023 20:58

Can’t you just pay her with your credit card if you have her bank details?

N27 · 18/11/2023 20:58

You shouldn’t have let her buy the tickets if you don’t have the money to pay her back.

if you needed to buy on credit then you should have bought the tickets on your card

you will have to PayPal someone else Who does have it and ask them to transfer the money to you

RumJerrySailorRum · 18/11/2023 20:59

I don't know anyone who uses PayPal.

We transfer money to each others bank accounts.

Can you not pay a normal bank account from PayPal or is it only PayPal to PayPal?

CamCurls · 18/11/2023 21:00

If you are using Paypal to pay a person i.e not a business account and your Pay Pal method of payment is your credit card you will find that your CC company will treat it as a cash withdrawal and there will be a fee and interest.

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/11/2023 21:03

Why can't you move money from paypal to bank account and then bank transfer her?

I shift from my paypal to my bank all the time, it takes seconds.

Thinkbiglittleone · 18/11/2023 21:03

You shouldn't really buy things you don't have the money for.

If PayPal is common within your circle do your family members have it then you pay pal them, they pay to your friend from their bank account.

This really isn't your friends fault. You should have established this first of it was your only means of payment.

jolaylasofia · 18/11/2023 21:03

you can't send money for friends and family from a credit card anyway

PestilencialCrisis · 18/11/2023 21:04

Two questions...

Why didn't you buy the tickets on your credit card if you don't have the money until the end of the month?

Why are you spending £200 on tickets for something when you have no money in your account?

Canisaysomething · 18/11/2023 21:04

Why is it your friend’s fault you wanted tickets you couldn’t afford?

TrishIsMySpiritAnimal · 18/11/2023 21:05

I’m sure you can transfer to a bank from PayPal op

Trickortreatitspartytime · 18/11/2023 21:06

She shouldn’t have to set up a PayPal account just for one transaction.. you’ll have to have an honest chat with her about the situation and see what she says.

feelingalittlehorse · 18/11/2023 21:07

Pay yourself the £200 into your current account from your credit card, bank transfer to her from the current account.

Pay her ASAP and stop spending other people’s money that you don’t have.

ilovesooty · 18/11/2023 21:07

EightOfHearts · 18/11/2023 20:31

Hmmm I wouldn't really want to set up a PayPal account either but don't really see what other options you have. If you've explained it's either money now via PayPal or money at the end of the month via bank transfer that doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

It doesn't seem reasonable to me. The OP shouldn't have allowed someone else to spend money on her if she didn't have the means to repay it in a timely manner.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 18/11/2023 21:09

Grimchmas · 18/11/2023 20:34

Neither of you are being unreasonable. You just need to work out a way forward.

I'd say to her she can either have the money now with PayPal, or on X date when you gets paid.

It's not unreasonable for you to have assumed that she had PayPal- most people do.

I can assure you that "most" people don't have Paypal. I do, but can pretty much guarantee that none of my friends do.

OP, I think you should get a cash withdrawal on your credit card - your friend does not have to set up a Paypal account just for your convenience, nor should she have to wait until you have the actual money. I would do this in a heartbeat for a friend.

Btw, I'm so glad I don't live in the UK with your monthly wages culture!!!

JaffavsCookie · 18/11/2023 21:13

I would be really annoyed to pay for tickets for a friend to then be expected to set up a paypal account, and then what? I have £200 in an account I don’t use. Presumably they charge fees for withdrawing money, otherwise you would do it so why should your friend bear that caost?