Having to book hotel just to maintain sex life?!

[thisiscompletelyridiculousness]

DH and I (both early 40s) have a toddler and I also have a teenager from a previous relationship. Typical story - both have demanding FT jobs and also with the demands of both children- demands of the toddler are obvious and the teen, well, it's just the presence of a teenage child in the house that kills the moment - basically we are struggling to maintain a physical relationship. I'm sure others have experienced similar. DH has suggested that we get a babysitter for toddler and go for a few drinks in our local town, but book a hotel room just so we can be intimate. I don't want to actually stay out overnight (we don't have anyone who could look after our toddler overnight anyway), and I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving our toddler overnight regardless, but he's saying we can just book a room to use it for a few hours after we've been for drinks, then check out and go home. I feel this is a little odd! It feels a bit seedy and the hotel will know surely, what we are doing, if we just stay in the room for a few hours then check out?! Do people actually do this or is this weird? 😬

We book hotels several times a year.

We also book AL and have a day at home in bed. Watch TV, have lunch and stay naked as long as possible.

We have kids at home. An adult down to a baby and are in our 40s.

We do have sex at home but it's a certain type that definitely involves not being heard.

Why not? I dont think I have to accept a mediocre sex life just because we have kids.

It's fun and gives us something to look forward every so often just for us.

We have busy tiring family life. It helps us stay connected and stops the craziness of our life making us snappy and irritated with each other.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes it does seem a little too organised lol. Although I know they do say you have to sometimes do this when things are difficult to fit in 🤣

summer houses at the top of the garden are ideal for this kind of thing i find!

Thankfully I live in a 3 storey house and the kids are on the top floor and we have sex on the ground floor 😂

We are still quiet but it definitely helps knowing they are two floors above us.

Our youngest one never wakes up after he’s fallen asleep whereas sometimes our eldest one does (but still rarely). We don’t have a lock on the door but he knows to knock if he wants to come in to our room and not just walk in.

We have occasionally had a quiet quickie when we knows he’s awake in his bedroom but completely absorbed in his Play Station game 😬

I do worry about how things will be when the children hit secondary school age but I’m hoping the 3 storeys will be sufficient enough to allow us to continue with our sex life and also prevent any potential embarrassment.

When your teenager goes to school/goes out and your toddler is having a nap?

It's refreshing on these boards to read of a married couple who still want to have sex.

I don't quite get this. We have a teen girl and reception boy, both work full time and manage ok... maybe not same frequency as before DS but no need for a hotel

It's refreshing on these boards to read of a married couple who still want to have sex.

I’m sure most want to, and do. I don’t think it’s refreshing that 2 adults really can’t manage their life around their children. It’s pathetic and attention seeking to have to write a thread on it, just get the fuck on with it like everyone else. 🙄

Just have sex. Ok you can’t give it laldy but you can still have sex.

I've never understood why people get hung up about having sex when there's teenagers in the house.
We just closed the bedroom door at bedtime as usual and got on with it quietly.
As did our parents and parents before them.

It doesn't have to be a need but a want.

Some people have to be able to switch from mum mode to wife mode to fully relax and really enjoy it. Why not get dressed up, leave your house and actually date your spouse. I find it weirder that people think it's strange to do something different as just a couple to have fun and connect with each other.

It's not even about frequency as type for us.

Personally I don't want every time I have sex with my husband to have it in the back of my head keeping it down or think I hope one of the kids doesn't need us/wake up.

I have a 20 year old and a 17 year old. We have sex regularly when we go to bed and they're still up. You just learn to be quiet.

Tbh it sounds great even without sex 😂

This.

For a good few years we had sex in the bathroom thinking the noise of the shower & extractor fan masked any noise. I remember my school age DD commenting one day that mum makes funny noises when she showers 🤣. Seriously- prioritise sex, using any tactic available, it matters in the long run (30 years married).

Haven’t read all the replies but laughed out loud at this 🙌🏼 100%

Hotel will completely catch on and won’t be bothered in the least. They will of course assume you are having an affair. Hey ho 🤷🏻‍♀️

"DH and I (both early 40s) have a toddler and I also have a teenager from a previous relationship. Typical story - both have demanding FT jobs"

I just don't think a teenager and a toddler should have FT jobs (especially the toddler)

😉

We have a bedroom lock and just do it quietly. Teen sometimes is up watching tv downstairs and we go upstairs “tired”. We’ve mastered being quiet. Booking a hotel every time we want sex sounds expensive.

😸Oh at last! Someone chillaxed with a SOH on MN. It was a thanks from me!

I have teen and grown up dc also a toddler and am really confused about why it stops you having sex?

Oh thanks for the FT quip not the locked bedroom! Wouldn’t presume to find your arrangements funny!!

Does your teenager sleep in your room? Why can’t you do it in bed at night like most people?

Hahahahahahahaha crying! I agree

I’m thinking maybe noise? Teenager might put two and two together. My friend’s toddler walked in and shouted “ Daddy stop! Stop killing mummy!”