Having to book hotel just to maintain sex life?!

[thisiscompletelyridiculousness]

DH and I (both early 40s) have a toddler and I also have a teenager from a previous relationship. Typical story - both have demanding FT jobs and also with the demands of both children- demands of the toddler are obvious and the teen, well, it's just the presence of a teenage child in the house that kills the moment - basically we are struggling to maintain a physical relationship. I'm sure others have experienced similar. DH has suggested that we get a babysitter for toddler and go for a few drinks in our local town, but book a hotel room just so we can be intimate. I don't want to actually stay out overnight (we don't have anyone who could look after our toddler overnight anyway), and I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving our toddler overnight regardless, but he's saying we can just book a room to use it for a few hours after we've been for drinks, then check out and go home. I feel this is a little odd! It feels a bit seedy and the hotel will know surely, what we are doing, if we just stay in the room for a few hours then check out?! Do people actually do this or is this weird? 😬

Exactly. I don't want them to hear or know, and them being around is just a mood killer.

I'm looking to move house in the near future and with a 3 and 9 yo, one of my criteria is a double bedroom (it doesn't have to the the biggest room) away from the others!
I know you don't necessarily have the luxury of moving, and at the minute we're able to both work from home one day which at least gives us a bit of time.

Each to their own etc - this wouldn't appeal to me at all, I'd just find it really a turn off to be checking into a hotel just to have sex & then go home.

I can't understand why having a teen precludes sex at other times? Just lock your door & have (quiet) sex when you want to / toddler in bed etc.

omg I am in actual hysterics at this ! And I completely agree 😹

Same here, it's a definite mood killer trying to listen out for them moving and keeping noise down so you don't scar them for life hearing you. I'd definitely go with your plan, we've done similar and it was great fun

It's difficult, we get around by waking up early. Dh coming home at lunch time when I work from home, nights away. I'd defo do what he suggests. Doubt the hotel would even notice and who cares if they do. Is your teen never out at the weekend when the toddler has a nap?

What post suggested letting teenager hear them?

There are specific day use hotels.

We have teens at home. Just shut the door and do it quietly.
Obviously you can't let go as you might when you have the house to yourselves, but are you suggesting paying for a hotel to have regular sex? Or is it to be able to have a more special time once in a while?

I obviously don't want to let my kids hear, but in all honesty the idea of going to a hotel just to have regular sex with my husband is ridiculous. Throughout history, and in places today where whole families share rooms, sex still goes on.

Stop avoiding having sex. Honestly, your teen will suddenly have lots of sleepovers

This one, why else would they suddenly have lots of sleepovers.

Well, there's a couple of choice's, have your relationship dwindle into a sexless marriage or accept your husbands compromise and give your relationship a few hours of time every once in a while.

Definitely do it and one of you stay the night, as very cleverly suggested upthread. That's what I'd do. One stay that night and if you repeat it then it's the other's turn next time. Imagine it being you turn to stay - bliss 😊

Sounds fun tbh.

😂😂😂

You can’t live in a house with no locks on the doors and then suddenly put a lock on your bedroom door. Your teenager will literally be sick 🤢 How gross. If my parents did that when I was a teenager I’d have felt so embarrassed and never dared go near their room again, ever. Do it discreetly at night when you can but defo book the hotel aswell. Leave key in room, they will have no idea whether you’re popping out or leaving and they won’t investigate.

If you have a teenager and suddenly put a lock on your bedroom door, you may aswell put a do not disturb sign on the door handle!

Well OP, i think this is a bloody brilliant idea. No kids for a few hours, a couple of drinks, getting intimate with your man - then back home in time for Coronation St! Win- win in my eyes.

Yes. I watched this on a TV show couple of days ago. The Nigerian woman in a hijab said she does it when her sister comes to see her. She goes off to a hotel where her husband meets her and she stays till the next day while he hubby goes to work that morning, she goes back home.

I like the idea , hotel always feels a bit naughtier so more fun and the hotel staff truly don't even care

I'm seeing someone and for various reasons it's not practical to fuck at each others houses so we book hotels on a weekly basis. Sometimes for day use and sometimes for the night.
The first time we did a day hotel I thought I'd be embarrassed but the staff have seen so much they didn't bat an eye lid and we checked in spent about 6 hours having sex and checked out. Job done 🤣

🤣🤣 oh my, that did make a laugh!!

Yep, I'm with you on that one totally!
In fact, I don't think it would ever open again!!

I was being lighthearted. I meant if the teenager heard the parents once, they’d be so appalled they’d make sure to go and sleep at a friend’s house. I wasn’t actually suggesting setting up some kind of domestic porn site fgs!

You are married, you are SUPPOSED to be having sex, in some cultures it's positively a duty.
Also, you have a toddler. So ...

All you need to do is not scream, surely. Put some knickers in your mouth. I get that some beds make a racket, but there must be racket-free beds.

You could also do the hotel thing sometimes if you like.

Get a TV in your room and get into the habit of retiring to your room early to watch a movie together. Then you have the cover of background noise for any shenanigans that take place.

(Yes I have teens in the house. My budget doesn't extend to a hotel stay every time we feel like sex!)