Having to book hotel just to maintain sex life?!

[thisiscompletelyridiculousness]

DH and I (both early 40s) have a toddler and I also have a teenager from a previous relationship. Typical story - both have demanding FT jobs and also with the demands of both children- demands of the toddler are obvious and the teen, well, it's just the presence of a teenage child in the house that kills the moment - basically we are struggling to maintain a physical relationship. I'm sure others have experienced similar. DH has suggested that we get a babysitter for toddler and go for a few drinks in our local town, but book a hotel room just so we can be intimate. I don't want to actually stay out overnight (we don't have anyone who could look after our toddler overnight anyway), and I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving our toddler overnight regardless, but he's saying we can just book a room to use it for a few hours after we've been for drinks, then check out and go home. I feel this is a little odd! It feels a bit seedy and the hotel will know surely, what we are doing, if we just stay in the room for a few hours then check out?! Do people actually do this or is this weird? 😬

I can see why people don't have a problem, but equally I don't think it is difficult to see why having teens in the house make it uncomfortable. Especially any more than a silent cuddle under the covers.

This made me laugh out loud!

Now this sounds perfect.

We do, it's great. To the teens it's variously called going to the cinema for the matinee/ going Christmas shopping/ going for a long walk. We take drink and nice chocolates and have a wonderful time 😆

The hotel staff really won't give a shit.

Yeah you need to get inventive , lots of quickies . The youngest's favourite dvd came out a lot . Teens don't don't notice their parents until they want food .

Book a hotel room for your teen if he has a sex life! You can stay in the comfort of your home...

Book one on a day rate from 9-5. I work in a hotel and the staff wouldn't bat an eyelid because we've seen everything before.

The only thing I can think of is to put your toddler in a playpen whilst you two go into the bedroom

Pop a lock on the door, put the radio on and enjoy yourselves. By all means have a more lively, louder time in hotel but don't let your sex life suffer because of your teen. You having a healthy relationship will do them good.

I appreciate the worry, my partner is not father of my children. But we take reasonable precautions not to scar them for life 😜. Swapped rooms so no shared wall, radio every evening regardless of adult activities.

Oh god, I hate it when people say ‘be intimate’ on here. It makes my skin crawl. Just say, ‘have sex’.

Anyway yeah, save your cash and just do it early in the morning.

Still want to have sex with each other. Can still afford a hotel room. You’re winning!

I too would feel a bit seedy going just for a couple of hours.
I think the actual hotel room idea is brilliant though.

I think is focus on trying to find an overnight babysitter for the toddler and make the most of it.

How old is the teen?
Could they babysit and you get a local hotel and come home if needed.

Or could you and DH have a half day at work or go in earlier/come home later one day a week.

I worked in hotels for 17 years, the staff could not be less interested, as long as you pay and don't make a mess they're fine! A lot worse things go on than a married couple having sex believe me!

Last year, XP and I were in London for the day.

The mood took us and at 2pm he stood in central London and booked a premiere Inn room online. We walked 5 minutes there, checked in, spent the afternoon in bed and were sitting in the theatre by 7pm.

A lovely memory.

Hotel staff are very used to rooms not being slept in. Go with the flow and enjoy it!

This sounds like heaven!
And actually a really good idea!

Both of you go to the hotel room for a few hours, then one of you goes home whilst the other stays and perhaps they can return in the morning for another quicky or they can just have a relaxing lie in.

You’d be paying for the room anyway.

Also you don't need to actually check out, as long as they have your credit card details then that's fine, housekeeping will find the room empty soon enough!

I used to hear my mum and SD having sex and it made me feel sick! I know now as an adult that it’s natural, but I would never want my daughter to hear what I did!
My bed is so bloody creaky even with music on my DD would still hear.

You don't even have to check out of hotels you've paid for up front (premier inn etc). For all the staff know you could be leaving at 10pm to get food/go to a club, they won't realise you're actually going home.

Do you both work near home? Or could you both take a WFH day/flexi week? Then you could at least have a lunch break together.

🤣

@TokyoSushi do tell of the worse things!

Book a hotel room for your teen if he has a sex life! You can stay in the comfort of your home...

Wtf? Weird.

I would not hesitate to use a hotel room if that is what I wanted. I think the idea of one of you stopping overnight if u are not nothing able to, is a good idea

Dw and I have a 10 month old and we do it.

Premier inn Sunday nights £36. Very clean room which is all we need.

Babysitter thinks we’re getting drinks in town -for a few hours which we do on the way home.

Just dump the key in the room and dont check out.

Good luck!!