To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

Honestly, parents won't believe some of the things that happen. I've had to tell kids not to discuss their parents' birth control (or lack of it) in the classroom.

YABU and very precious.

Yup. The reverse is actually happening: British teachers are going overseas.

shouting "don't you dare do that" is neither threatening or bad language. weird you would think so

I’ve heard people say similar things before about the phrase ‘don’t you dare’. I’m honestly baffled- I don’t get what’s so ‘threatening’ about this particular turn of phrase? It’s a fairly common phrase that can be quite inoffensive depending on the tone of voice.

Wrong on every count, but I’d expect nothing less from from someone who spouts over dramatic clap trap.
But please keep posting your nonsensical ramblings are amusing me

So, using an example from recently (in primary school). A child tells a staff members to “f off” deputy head hears and takes the child to one side. Said child starts interrupting and being rude again - what would be an acceptable reply for the deputy because I think “don’t you dare interrupt me” is pretty tame!

The real issue with "don't you dare" is that, depending on the kid , it can be like waving a red flag to a bull. They'll dare precisely because they want to see what happens (innocently or not) and where you'll go with it.

I find it odd that you think being a parent of your dd is so hard that shouting and being easily angered is understandable, whereas being a teacher and dealing with 30 kids is a piece of cake

Yet here you are replying every time. Resorting to insults about my intelligence and now my age, well done you.

Yes I can be too 'shouty' and make mistakes as a parent, but I always try to fix them and better myself, and my girls are my absolute world.

One rule for you and one rule for the teacher.

How do you know the teacher isn't fixing things and trying to get better?

England and Scotland are above the eu average and only below Germany, Lux and NL in Europe.

Link

This country isn't as shit as everyone loves to make out.

You quoted me first, also replied everytime and yes I replied to you as you asked me to keep posting above LOL.

On a serious note, any teacher saying 'don't you dare' ought to ask themselves how they'd like it if another adult spoke to them like that in the workplace or a partner or family member. These are six year olds fgs and some will hear language like that in their homes which IS said in a threatening way and won't know the difference between how an adult in a school is saying it and how their dickhead parent says it. It's not that hard for professional adults being paid to look after children to use better language. And if it was a one off and the Op complains then nothing will come of it anyway. If its all the time then good thing she has.

Maybe it was....I won't deny that....i don't remember as it was a long time ago and I wasn't in a great place mentally at the time.I knew it wasn't acceptable though, I felt very guilty and despite it hurting to do so, I disowned the cat because I knew I could not be a good owner to him.

But that is not a relevant comment to this post... unless you think I have done both.

Could anyone suggesting the word choice is wrong suggest words that would be acceptable for a teacher to say to children who perpetually interrupt?

Not denying it can make it more likely that some people who are cruel to animals are cruel to humans.But that is not me.I have limits I have crossed with animals (not proud of it) that I would never cross with a human, especially a child!

Pretty please will you listen to me?

may be just about acceptable to the Op?

The worrying thing is a lot of those bullying you are teachers, OP. Yet they won't recognise their comments as bullying, which is a worry isn't it?

The reasons the profession is in such a state is not down to the children and parents, though it's much easier to blame them than it is for the profession to take a long hard look in the mirror. Some of the unkind words used to describe children, such as 'brats' and 'little shits', tells us a lot about the way some adults feel about children, doesn't it.

I know this wasn't at me but I SO agree with you. Its really sad.

One poster used those words. You have no idea if they are a teacher or not. Melodramatic bullshit.

What words would you deem acceptable for a teacher to use to a perpetually interrupting child?

This!

@LittleMissUnreasonable
I have reiterated several times it WAS NOT OK that I did that to the cat.

You're way off the mark with the rest though.I have always adored children and I would NEVER harm them.
I now work in a job PROTECTING them.
I worked in a nursery for 8 years, and every parent and member of staff I worked with would vouch for my caring and passionate attitude to my job.

I raise my voice abit too often with my own child.I admit that.Parenting is bloody hard sometimes and I don't always cope that well.I never did that in my job though, because there was professional boundaries, which teachers should have too.

Yes i was unkind to a cat (this post was not about behaviour towards cats to that's technically irrelevant)

But even so, none of that or the rest makes me unsafe to be around children or any sort of child abuser fgs.

I had a really verbally and physically abusive upbringing with actual threats of harm and I know how intimidating a raised voice can be to a young child but I honestly don't see any threatening behaviour here. Possibly teacher went overboard. But where's the threats?

Doesn't something have to be threatened or implied to constitute threatening behaviour?