To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

You have referred to parents as 'ridiculous' and 'clueless' for raising their concerns, which you say are 'pointless'. You say parents don't understand what it is like in schools these days. When you leave, you are going to blame the parents for your wish to do so.
Can you see that reads that you think parent's views and concerns are worthless, and comes across as disrespectful?

You described what the teacher said as ‘clearly threatening’. That really is a matter of opinion. Many pp have disagreed. I’m a teacher, I disagree. Your narrative really has become ridiculous. If you think the teacher is so wrong to shout at a child you are going to have serious problems when your DC reach secondary school.

If you have such distrust and disdain for teachers, and clearly fear for your children’s safety in their care

If you read my previous posts, I don’t believe all teachers are good or bad. There is a mix as there is in every profession.

Schools get bad reputations for both the kids and the teachers.

Blindly believing that children are always wrong and teachers are always right has been proven to have dire consequences.

Classic mumsnet fgs, it's not okay to say 'don't you dare' to a six year old. It's disgusting and yes Op you should complain. Teachers are not infallible by nature, quite a few are lovely, quite a few are bloody horrible bullies.

This 😳

Give your head an actual wobble OP

Yes, @Ilovechocolate87 .You go ahead and complain. And then come back to this thread and say how you got on.

You could always home school?

Tbh I think it's far better the Op focuses on her concerns for children's wellbeing and makes a complaint than worries about what the children haters of Mumsnet think of her. Worst that can happen is nobody does anything about it. Best that can happen is if the teacher has form for this, children are protected from someone making their lives hell. These are six year olds who can't stand up for themselves, don't be so awful and make such wild assumptpions that this teacher is mother Theresa. She may well not be.

Am I living on a different planet? How is “don’t you dare” disgusting and a sign of bullying?

Honest to god, I fear for the future of society.

I would seriously not even bat an eyelid if my kids told me their teacher had said this. There has been a few times over the years where I've raised an eyebrow when the kids have told me something the teacher has done/said (I have 5 kids, eldest being 16) but I have enough understanding that it's an extremely tough job and teachers are human beings at the end of the day.

‘Making their lives hell’, what a load of over dramatic guff
I called my year 10’s a bunch of divs on Friday, probably scarred them for life

Blindly believing that children are always wrong and teachers are always right has been proven to have dire consequences.

I don't think anyone's suggesting we do that, are they? Besides, most people on the thread aren't saying the dd is wrong. They're saying that even if the 6yo is reporting accurately, the teacher did nothing wrong.

People like you are the reason I would LOVE CCTV in the classroom, in fact they should live stream it to parents. Some parents would be shocked and horrified at their children's behaviour.

It honestly wouldn't. We showed CCTV to a parent clearly showing her an incident didn't happen. Their reply? "Well, Jimmy still feels that...". Where do you go with that?

Plus you'd have a lot of parents looking for reasons for their child's poor behaviour. Like the one that said it was my fault their NT child (8) threw something at me because I didn't help him when he asked. I didn't as I was helping a child with a disability and I asked him to wait two minutes and he'd have my full attention. Same with waiting (see a trend here?) when I was actually injecting medicine into another child and their child kept poking and tapping me to get my attention and I told them sternly to stop and wait. Apparently I was rude and dismissive. What was so important that they couldn't wait? The child wanted to tell me that another child had the hiccups.

Yes because I’m sure this teacher would shout “don’t you dare interrupt me when I’m talking” to poor little Johnny who was just raising his hand to ask a question, or do you think little Johnny is possibly an ill mannered brat who keeps disrupting the class and the teacher shut him up before he could disrupt the class further? I know which one my money is on.

(I know being a brat or indeed a little shit is not the child’s fault but the pathetic weak excuse of the so called parent).

don't be so awful and make such wild assumptpions that this teacher is mother Theresa. She may well not be.

Mother Theresa? Nobody has suggested the teacher is anything other than a normal teacher who tells children off sometimes. Oh, except the OP, who thinks that a teacher raising their voice and telling a child off is virtually a criminal (but if you do that as a parent, it's understandable because you're sooo busy).

Sorry do you know the teacher personally? You seem to be assuming they are just a stressed and stretched teacher having to be a bit assertive with a child when they could be a totally vile, bullying prick. When children are involved I don't think it's worth assuming the best and better to complain and see isn't it?

Yes that's the problem everyone has assumed the teacher is normal, they might be or they really might not be. The fact is Ops child has come home and repeated some of the language and tone used by her teacher and she is only 6. It's clearly something that's stuck with her and needs looking into.

I can assure you that my kid is a straight A student who was terrified to ask for a further explanation of a concept because the teacher in question didn’t allow ANY interruptions.

As I said there are plenty of kids who are horrors and there are plenty of teachers (proportionally) who are too.

One side is not necessarily to be automatically believed or disbelieved.

You are kidding aren't you? Whilst you need not to be shouting all the time as the little darlings just get used to it and ignore you, when you are dealing with 30 possibly more children especailly if they are young adn fractious you might have to have a shout as part of the range of things you use.

Think about this OP. A child does somethign dangerous or mpotentially dangerous for him or herself or for another child - could be roakcing back in chair, running in a confined spot or polished hall floor, snatching sissors or anything with a point, pushing in such away as to potentially knock someone else over. Or kicking or throwing a ball to hard. Or being silly when walking on the pavement that might mean a child off-balance steps in to the road.. gosh tehre are so many potential accidents in a day.

Now imagine your child on the wrong end of that - being pushed in the road, getting a ball kicked into their face, or sissors or a sharp point flailed near their eyes? Now would rather the teacher risked your child being hurt or shouted. Proabbaly a stage shout the sort guarenteed to make everyone stop in their tracks and properly pay attention. Or perhaps you rather the teacher used a milder intervention that might not be listened to or complied with first time so your child got hurt.

If it was my child I know what I would like.

You're being really incredibly silly OP. Apart from anything else you're teaching your kids to challenge the teachers without any really understand of how classrooms are best managed or wehter the teacher was really doing anything wrong.

Bullshit, you have absolutely nothing to base that on. Saying ‘don’t you dare’ is not abusive. You also do not know the teacher personally and are making ridiculous assumptions. You’re a Div

Many teachers would be in favour of it.

I've known of situations where teachers have asked for it, but management has declined.

" 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' "

This is what has worried and upset you? My god, you've got a long road ahead. It's given me a good laugh anyway.

Absolutely this! DS1 went to a tiny village school, where the Y5/6 teacher was also the HT. She had a solid reputation for being strict, but she ran a tight ship and, once the kids understood her expectations, they loved her.

I remember at the beginning of Y5, the ten of them went on the outward bound residential trip. On their return, we were waiting in the school playground for the coach. DS1 stepped off the bus shouting, "Mum! Mrs Wilson is actually really nice!" in earshot of everyone 😳.

You're obnoxious and not very articulate. Sounds like you don't like children much at all. As for calling your year tens divs, that's not very classy or big or clever so I don't know why you're boasting about it here. I bet they dread your lessons 🙂

Thanks, I don't mind people telling me I am being unreasonable for wanting to complain about the teacher, but dragging all my past posts into this and accusing me of being an abusive and frightening parent who should be reported to SS is bloody horrible and upsetting.

Yes I treated a cat badly some years ago which i regret, its no excuse but at the time i had bad post natal anxiety and was paranoid about hygeine, so things like the cat weeing or pooing around my DD used to trigger me badly.Yes I can be too 'shouty' and make mistakes as a parent, but I always try to fix them and better myself, and my girls are my absolute world.