To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

@Blackandwhitemakesgrey

"It is a good that you quit if the time no longer suited you and you found it difficult to adapt to change.

More people should do it in all professions rather than stay in roles that causes unhappiness for themselves, their colleagues and/or clients."

You've spectacularly missed the point here.

I left because the job had become unbearable and was making me ill both physically and mentally. Workload, unrealistic curriculum, too many unsupported SEND pupils, ofsted, long hours, lack of autonomy etc etc but massively compounded by atrocious behaviour, mostly not linked to SEND but as a result of entitled 'gentle' parenting and PITA parents.

I’m not a teacher, but I’m pleased how this thread has gone.
I’m pleased we’re all supporting the teacher in this instance, when I get pulled in by the teacher I always support her/him.
I do ask questions of my sons after, but a behaviour programme is put in place at home that echoes the school. Partly because I don’t want to churn out dickheads into society.
My friends that advocate gentle parenting are these teacher’s nightmares, who knows what they’ll be like as teenagers, or as spouses, or parents themselves. There needs to be some discipline, consequence, structure, occasional stern words and when all other escalatory avenues have failed, shouting.

Unreasonable parents is one of the main reasons that teachers are leaving, along with poor pupil behaviour.

'how dare you' is kind of intimidating TBH. It's saying if you carry on something'll happen (by implication, physical, not a telling off by someone.)

Bullshit. It means 'how do you have the cheek/naughtiness to dare to do that thing'? There might be a consequence, though not necessarily. But why you'd assume the consequence would be physical rather than, say, a detention, or a withdrawal of a privilege, I have no idea.

and I'm glad to see the majority here telling her that

Of course they are as the majority replying are teachers.

Maybe the teacher should have done this:

How do you know that?

when I get pulled in by the teacher I always support her/him

Your poor poor son. Have a read over what happened in Ireland up until the 1990s when teachers were not to be questioned. You may feel very differently.

This post made me laugh as I also have a 6 and a 2 year old DD…and my 6 year old said exactly this to my younger one at dinner today 🙈. I don’t know where she got it from..probably from us, I didn’t really give it a second thought though apart from a vague, don’t shout at your sister that’s not kind 🤷‍♀️

Read the replies.

I have and they're not.

Yes, you would be unreasonable to complain to the school.

I've been teaching (primary, mainstream) for about 12 years and our school has seen a steady increase in parents making complaints as ridiculous as this. We're a fairly small school and probably receive 3-4 of these in a typical week. It takes up so much time as they all have to be dealt with and all they do is cause unnecessary, additional stress for the teachers. We're absolutely on our knees, dealing with ever-increasing workload demands, violent behaviour (currently have 3 violent children in my class and am physically hurt most days) and impending OFSTED pressures. Dealing with pointless complaints from utterly clueless parents (who have no idea what it's actually like in schools now) is the thing that has tipped me over the edge. It makes you feel so unsupported, disrespected and worthless.

I love working with the children, I'm known for my skills in supporting children with SEND and I know I am a great teacher. However, I'm working on my exit plan and I can't tell you how amazing it feels knowing this year is my last in schools. When people ask why I'm leaving, I will make it very clear it's down to parents like you.

Unreasonable parents is one of the main reasons that teachers are leaving, along with poor pupil behaviour.

And? . People are leaving service jobs and retail.

A shortage of teachers will prob mean the Gov issue visas for overseas teachers as they do in the nursing sector.

Honestly?! Do you work in schools yourself???

People like you are the reason I would LOVE CCTV in the classroom, in fact they should live stream it to parents. Some parents would be shocked and horrified at their children's behaviour.

Laughable how you think overseas teachers would love to come and work in UK schools 😂Most are probably better paid and better respected in their own countries

I volunteer yes.

Have you read about what occurred in Ireland? I take it you haven’t.

And as a parent I would LOVE cctv in the classrooms.

The same was said about nursing. Yet they come.

I'm not a teacher and absolutely could not be. I am in awe of anyone that goes into the profession. Especially in this day and age. I have however volunteered in my daughter's school and there was ONE teacher in the whole school who was not cut out to be a teacher. The others were, to varying degrees, good at their jobs but ALL of them were doing their best and were committed to trying to teach the children the very best they could and were devoted to even the most difficult child. I think every one of them probably raised their voice on occasion. With every justification.

'Don't you dare' isn't threatening language in my book. It's telling the kid that if they go any further, there will be consequences that they won't like. I can remember being that age, being told that, and understanding that was what was being said.

It's really not, it might one of the reasons for some teachers, but the stats demonstrate it's an accumulation of reasons, the top being the workload.

I went to a primary school where one of the teacher's would hit us. If only the grown-ups had spoken up, because we children had no voice. If you have a concern about an adult who is working with children, NEVER be afraid to speak up. Nobody, NOBODY, should make anyone feel bad for doing so or try to belittle them. Surely everyone knows this by now?

Oh, and I am not a teacher. I do however, have a family member who came over here in the late eighties, as a qualified teacher who went home in short order, having taught in schools in London, and never set foot in a school as a teacher again, as a result. (From Australia).

I don't expect teachers managing many kids in a school to deal with them exactly how a parent deals with their own kids or how children are dealt with in a nursery.

I've seen people post in recent days about primary school aged kids kicking a member of staff or hitting other kids. It would soon be chaos if all the staff did was smile sweetly and say "Use your kind hands" or whatever it is you're saying to the kids in your nursery.

Children should not be interrupting adults, and teachers even less! Nothing wrong with the teacher saying this to a pupil. Or a parent to their child. Discipline is needed sometimes when children are rude or cheeky.

If you have such distrust and disdain for teachers, and clearly fear for your children’s safety in their care, why don’t you home school them instead?

Schools are in a crisis situation due to low numbers of teachers. One local school could not fill a maths teacher role for over a year, so children were having to be taught maths by a non maths specialist. It’s absolutely not the same as people leaving retail. The impact is far greater.

Incase you haven’t worked it out, children are our next generation of doctors, nurses, lawyers etc. They need a solid education to enable them to go into the field they desire.
A lack of teachers is a seriously bad situation for a country to be in, and people like you are making it worse.
Who in their right mind would want to go into this profession when there are parents like you out there just waiting to jump on them at any opportunity.

I do think dc need to learn some resilience