To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

You suggested it by saying there are strong links with animal abuse and child abuse.

I'm not condoning what I did to the cat....for the millionth time, but I've seen some admit to 'tapping a child on the bum' on her and received alot less angry responses....and that is much much worse.Seems like everyone just wants to dig the knife into me as far as possible.

Her child was not upset or distressed. Her child hasn't been shouted at in the past two months at all. Her child is copying the teacher.

OP's outrage is based on 1.the accuracy of a child's ability to reproduce tone and volume AND 2.complete assumptions about how the teacher felt, talked ,meant . It's not even the kid's fault. She's probably being honest in her interpretation and not her fault her mum completely overreacted.

OP's DD is afraid of her but not this teacher. What does that tell you?

But I would expect a teacher to have more patience and emotional regulation than a frazzled parent rushing around at the end of their tether.If they don't maybe they should be in a different career.

The corollary is that if a parent can't manage just two or three children then the children should be removed to a place of safety and the parents sterilised to prevent them spawning any more!

Since when did having a couple of children become so hard, asks the mother of two, worked full time when they went to school and did an OU degree to relieve the boredom before they went and they've turned out pretty well!

1. 96% of people say you’re being unreasonable
2. You weren't actually there

This kind of nonsense is the reason I would be happy to have cctv in my classroom.

I am trying to work out what exactly is wrong with what the teacher said. It’s quite a normal phrase to use with a naughty child and one that most parents would use as well as teachers.

A) Have you ever raised your voice at your children?

Almost never

B) has it ever made them suddenly do what you say/ cry/ jump/ go quiet?

Nope

Dealing with a couple of kids at home is soooo much easier than a whole class!

It is a good that you quit if the time no longer suited you and you found it difficult to adapt to change.

More people should do it in all professions rather than stay in roles that causes unhappiness for themselves, their colleagues and/or clients.

I had something similar. Mum kicked off to the head teacher about the child's allegation about me. Told anyone who would listen.

The head, at least, listened to me, and I wrote out in great detail what had ACTUALLY happened.

The child admitted the next day he'd made it up. That he was afraid of his MUM'S reaction to what HE had done, so lied about me. And his 'truthful' version was almost identical to what I wrote out, including what had been said in the classroom.

Did anyone apologize to me? Fuck no. Absolutely infuriating. And not uncommon.

I would write down everything you want to say in an email and send it to yourself. I think you’d immediately feel better and on Monday you can reread it and decide if you want to send it.

I think it's better the teachers at school do not put up with kids interrupting the class - not sure what you think they have done wrong?

The children should have respect for the teacher and likely to get on better at school if the kids know they cannot interrupt / or other similar behaviour.

🙌🏼

It sounds as though this person experienced rather more than "failing to adapt to change".

Yeah go on, make a complaint. Force the Headteacher to abandon their role to investigate a non-issue and make the teacher feel like shit for no reason. As long as it makes you feel better 🙄

God Lord, have you nothing better to do ?

I agree with the 96% of posters on here OP - you are being unreasonable. Very.

I think you need to go and do some work experience in a school and see what it’s like having to simultaneously make 30 x 6 year old children of different developmental stages, with a range of neurodiversities (often undiagnosed) and behaviour issues, who cause constant disruption to a lesson that you have spent usually your own money paying for resources for and time away from your own family on the weekend or evenings planning, for a Year 1 learning objective that most can’t attain easily if at all, some it’s too easy and even the ones who do understand are distracted by little shits whose parents will try and complain to your boss about you if you so much as dare to tell them to stop it or show any level of exasperation.

Then, ask yourself if your precious daughter should ever have been exposed to such “abusive” language as, “don’t you dare.” 🙄

Jesus Christ, no wonder teacher retention is at an all time low. The way we are hyper-parenting children these days is leading to nothing but a generation of over entitled non-resilient psychopaths who can’t begin to respect authority.

Don’t be that parent.

Exactly this. Teachers can't do anything these days without being criticised. That's not offensive language, you're being ridiculous OP

Agreed. This happens more often than people realise.

In the case that I mentioned, the parents first went to the police. When the police said that there was no case to answer (after investigating) the parent made a formal complaint to the Director of Education - leading to the suspension - and phoned a tabloid. The tabloid doorstepped my colleague and put his picture on the front page.

Horrendous.

And if the head teacher is worth their salt, they will back your child’s teacher up wholeheartedly and probably have far less respect or time for you and your whittling in future matters.

Save your complaining for actual problems, or you’ll find yourself being killed with kindness whilst having a lot of eye rolling happening about you behind closed staffroom doors.

People here are being vile to the op. There are ways to respectfully disagree with people.
Op I wouldn't complain, but I would keep a note of anything else.

I definitely wouldn't complain about this. Teachers should act in a respectable manner but, teachers are fallible like the rest of us, they're not saints.
This is a complete non-issue.

They really aren’t.

I don't like adults speaking to kids like this either but have seen teachers get right into a 6-year-old's face and say similar things - that was quite a few years ago - it isn't acceptable but as a society, we don't respect children's rights - so I don't think your reporting will have much impact.

Except it wasn’t one angry moment was it, OP?
”I smacked my cat a few times when he did things like weed all over our bed…”

Leave the bloody teacher alone and sort yourself out fgs.