To complain about teacher's behaviour

[Ilovechocolate87]

Last night after tea, DD (6) said to younger DD (2) 'Don't you dare do that' (touch her food) in a menacing voice.It isn't something we would say, as I think it's a nasty way to speak to someone, so i asked her where she got it from, to which she replied that her teacher had shouted at a boy in her class (year 1) 'don't you dare interuppt me when I'm talking' and re-inacted it in a thunderous sort of voice.

If she was telling me the teacher was saying such things to her I would be in no doubt to complain, as its clearly threatening behaviour, but as it wasn't at her (and she confirms she has never shouted at her) I'm on the fence whether to say anything or not about it .I've re-iterated to DD not to speak to her little sister like that, explaining that even if the teacher did it, it is still wrong.She told me when I asked that it doesn't scare her when the teacher shouts (she has very sensitive hearing and is often scared if we shout at home) but i'm not really liking that she is seeing someone who should be a professional and a role model behaving in that way towards any child.

@Castleview6 exactly this.

Imagine hitting a little defenceless cat. That’s terrible.

OP, teachers shout. They have to, unless you want the kids to be in charge. How much learning would happen then?

You are being ridiculous. You expect someone dealing with 30 kids to remain calm but it's OK for a parent dealing with 2 children to get frazzled. Utterly clueless. I'm in my 27th year of teaching and am glad I'm closer to the end of my career than at the start. Try saying the same instructions over and over with little effect and see how frazzled you are.

I asked if it was unreasonable to make a complaint, which is all I needed an answer to.

I did not ask if her actual behaviour was unreasonable, nor I did not ask is it unreasonable to expect her not to raise her voice when sometimes we do so at home.

But all of this is relevant to your question.

You sound absolutely batshit and full of double standards.

Its not just the shouting, it's what she said, and I've worked in a nursery for many years so know managing lots of kids is tough at times, but if people can't do the job without getting angry and threatening the kids, they should be in a different career tbh.

You don't seem to have been able to prevent yourself from hitting a poor defenceless pet nor have been able to prevent yourself from getting angry at and shouting at your young helpless possibly SEN child. I think it's you who should be reconsidering your life choices, starting with #1: people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

😅

Believe it nor not, OP. We are allowed to say, "Don't you dare..." or "How dare you..." to children. We're even allowed to raise our voices.

<whispers> HTs say it too... 😉

Yes I did...some years ago now....and I very much know that wasn't okay.Hence why the cat was rehomed to a better place.
I have learnt from it and would not own a cat again.

But you cannot judge my parenting on how I treated a cat.

Me and my children have a lovely strong bond, yes DD1 has been scared when I have told her off, but she is not scared of me the rest of the time!

YABU.

This

bet you you’ll see a deletion thread in 3….2…1….

No it’s not. Look at the studies they show emotional abuse (screaming at your dc till they are scared of you and such) is far worse than physical abuse. Besides the fact of abuse is abuse. You are totally ok yelling/screaming at your dd till she is scared but let a teacher say “don’t you dare” to another child and you want to persecute her. You’ve said your dd is scared of you screaming/roaring/yelling at home but not the teacher. Then the teacher did nothing wrong. But you will fight this tooth and nail. If you do this over and over they will stop listening to you. Then what will you do when there is a real problem. The boy who cried wolf and all. You keep saying she’s guilty but what is she guilty of??

There is a primary school at the bottom of my street. Sometimes a whole class goes out accompanied of course by the teacher, what i assume is a T A and a couple of volunteers or maybe students. I have heard the teacher raise her voice as anyone would when supervising approx 30 kids approaching a busy road.

Parent scares child. Fine.

teacher does not scare child. Complain.

😂

That’s incorrect

there are tons of studies that relate from animal abuse to DV and murder for example

so yes you can judge people from how they treat animals.

Abuse of animals is a known indicator of cruelty to other humans.

100 per cent. I am actually reading this in shock. how can someone be so cruel to a defenceless character ?
you can judge a person on how they treat animals I pity your children

You sound unhinged and parents like you are the reason that being a teacher is becoming increasingly horrific.

Don't complain about something the teacher said to another child. I work in primary schools and you have no idea how much time they spend trying to get the same children to sit still and listen. It has a massive impact on the rest of the class if the teacher doesn't sometimes become quite firm.

You're cruel to animals, you shout at your child, you disrespect and undermine her teacher. You need to take a long look at yourself.

But you cannot judge my parenting on how I treated a cat.

Au contraire. Both are smaller weaker beings than you, dependent on you.

You have deliberately scared both. Repeatedly, in anger.

Yet apparently it's fine because you're a parent not a teacher.

OK then.

No wonder there are so many badly behaved children nowadays, absolute wet lettuce parenting

Absolutely YABU!

Give your head a wobble. You are moaning about a teacher saying it a concern that she is raising her voice yet you shout at your children and hit animals.

If going by the standards you want the teacher to uphold, then someone needs a word with you in regards to your behavior at home.

OP - how did your child feel when you hit your cat ? How did your child feel when you got rid of the family pet because you realised by your own admission that your behaviour was cruel? And finally - what do you think will impact your child's wellbeing more - a teacher telling another child off for interrupting- or her own mother displaying actual abusive behaviour?

I never said the teacher should be investigated by social services.
And neither should I, although wouldn't have blamed RSPCA for knocking at my door to do with the cat incident.

So answer me this everyone.

A) Have you ever raised your voice at your children?

B) has it ever made them suddenly do what you say/ cry/ jump/ go quiet?

Then they (at THAT POINT) are scared of you- but not all the time! And my little girl is not scared of me all the time either.

THIS!!! 👏👏👏

She was too young to understand and did not witness the incident.
I did it because I didn't want her to think getting that angry at an animal is OK.

Oh grow up!!
You will have years of your daughter reporting a teacher shouting.
You also say your daughter is scared when there is shouting at home, that actually doesn't sound good at all!