SIL uninvited DCs to party

[Cocoadoodle]

SIL is having a big birthday party tomorrow night. It’s family and friends and has been booked for ages at a local venue with bar, disco.
Family are coming from different parts of the country, with some staying at other local family members homes and some staying in hotels.
We have 2 DCs, so SILs niece and nephew. DD 10, DS 7
This morning she’s nonchalantly messaged me saying oh no, just found out after speaking to the venue that kids aren’t allowed. I asked her weeks ago and she said they were! My DC are so excited to celebrate their aunts birthday and see their cousins/other kids from extended family, and now they can’t go and she doesn’t seem to give two shits! They’re going to be gutted.
Cousin (in law) is driving over after school tonight to stay at ours with her kids for the weekend, and SIL hasn’t even bothered to tell them that their kids are now not invited.
I know I’m not being U, but what are we supposed to do? Or maybe I am being U as it’s her party so she can do as she pleases.

😂

I think step 1 needs to be MN ensuring everyone can actually click "see all" on the OPs first post. It's not a feature on the android app yet and that must have an impact on a fair few users.

The Android app doesn't let you see all OP's posts

Ah, I didn't know this.

Explains a lot, thanks.

Some of the replies on here are just bonkers.
I am glad you and the kids are having fun OP.

Yeah step away! You need space to cool down about a trifling issue. Not everyone has time on their hands to peruse the thread with a fine tooth comb as though they are sitting an A Level in mumsnet threads. Browsers think they have a helpful contribution so offer it. If it doesn’t pertain, just take a deep breath and ignore it rather than snapping. There are Bigger Problems.

@Cocoadoodle Your family sounds awesome to come together at short notice. Hope you all have a fun evening. 🥳

I had a fantastic 48th with about 50 friends and family, nearly half of whom were 5 to 18 year olds. I have a picture of me dancing with my 14 year old niece which I really treasure.

I love a night out with just adult friends, but there’s a magic to a good multi-generational party that can send ripples of good feeling and strong connections through much more of your life for much longer.

Not everyone has time on their hands to peruse the thread with a fine tooth comb

I don't when it is a long thead, so I just select the OP's posts.

I don't use the app, just the browser on my phone.

Oh thats such an annoying situation! I hope you all have a great time.

She is being unkind. Period. SHE is being unreasonable!

Trying to work out what sort of venue it is as I can’t think of anywhere that doesn’t allow children for private parties of 100

Who books a venue for a party and doesn’t check if kids are allowed? I’m glad you and the other parents did something else and hope you all had a fabulous time.

I think you came up with a fabulous plan that kept the people in your circle the happiest that could have been expected. She may not be a crappy SIL but she certainly is self-centered.

My DH and I would not have attended the party. We would have been taking our DC to a place where they can be dressed up and have a nice night with them. If other relatives decided not to come because of their children, I would make it a party those children could attend also.

For the PP who said not to "be mean" because SIL just found out. That should have been sorted BEFORE she sent out invites and people made plans. It's on her (or whoever planned the party) and no one else.

Hope you all had a good time OP. I would point out to SIL that people were really put out, spent money, etc. She should be offereing everyone (proper and sincere) apologies - which she should have done when she first informed you (but not others apparently) that children couldn't come. She sounds dippy.

Take all the kids round in costumes to see SIL right now!!

😂

Littlecatonthefence

God OP that is very annoying.

People without kids can sometimes be really inconsiderate as they just dont realize.

And every parent is perfect.

glad it was all sorted

i think the venue should have made it clearer to her

I was wondering how long it would be before somebody said something about her not realising if she doesn’t have children herself. Here is some news, even childless women (like myself) and even childless women that don’t want children at their party, know that other people have children and know that up to a certain age, they are going to need looking after. It’s not rocket science. Even for child free women.

I'd have been mightily pissed off at such short notice. I especially feel for the people that have had to travel and booked hotels.
Hope you had a fun evening with your children

Maybe they did. Most places would - it's in their interests. OP has said she is a bit thoughtless. Personally if I had invited a shedload of children I would have checked before booking. She was being specifically asked about bringing children several weeks ago and confirmed - she really should have actually checked with the venue then. She doesn't sound particularly bothered that she has really put out a lot of her family and friends.

I would too. It’d serve the SIL right if they send her the bill for hotels and costume hire. That would concentrate her mind and not be so blase about it.
To those posters who say OP has overreacted, no she didn’t. Anyone with half an ounce of sense would check with the venue whether or not children are allowed in before booking it!

Party update request please! Did SIL kick off because hardly anyone turned up?