SIL uninvited DCs to party

[Cocoadoodle]

SIL is having a big birthday party tomorrow night. It’s family and friends and has been booked for ages at a local venue with bar, disco.
Family are coming from different parts of the country, with some staying at other local family members homes and some staying in hotels.
We have 2 DCs, so SILs niece and nephew. DD 10, DS 7
This morning she’s nonchalantly messaged me saying oh no, just found out after speaking to the venue that kids aren’t allowed. I asked her weeks ago and she said they were! My DC are so excited to celebrate their aunts birthday and see their cousins/other kids from extended family, and now they can’t go and she doesn’t seem to give two shits! They’re going to be gutted.
Cousin (in law) is driving over after school tonight to stay at ours with her kids for the weekend, and SIL hasn’t even bothered to tell them that their kids are now not invited.
I know I’m not being U, but what are we supposed to do? Or maybe I am being U as it’s her party so she can do as she pleases.

Cant think of a worse party! Id make my excuses if it was going to be full of shrieking over tired other peoples kids

@TheaBrandt The SIL did, apparently, but isn't that beside the point ?

I see we've reached the point of a lot of posters not bothering to RTFT... Hope OP & the DC are having a lovely, if somewhat improvised, evening together.

It’s far too coincidental that she just happened to find out a day before the party. How exactly do people think she found out?

Whilst I am not going to attribute malice to the Birthday girl, you do have to wonder how she 'suddenly' found out that children weren't allowed at the venue with such short notice ? Did she suddenly read an email sent ages ago ? The venue are wary of people turning up with children even though their booking conditions state this and they messaged/rang her to check she had noticed this ? She didn't think it would be a big deal letting people know so close to the event ?

Glad to hear you are having a great time @Cocoadoodle

Me, since you ask.

Check wirh the venue ??

Did anybody else conclude that Silly SIL's mistake would have been entirely avoidable, had she adequately researched the party venue ?

Obviously.

It could have been worse, imagine all the party goers turning up and being turned away at the door...

(cancel the) check with the venue.

It sounds like yours will be more fun than hers!

Its inconsiderate and disorganised. I wouldn't say mean it wasn't deliberate.

Unfortunately sometimes kids will end up disappointed because of such people. I think organise something else nice in the longer term, take them out in the short-term.

Why don’t you contact the friends/relatives that you know and who were expecting to be taking their children to this party and suggest that you all meet up elsewhere for a meal or similar, rather than disappoint the children or have to cancel a night out all together because they haven’t got childcare. If people don’t turn up to her party it’ll be her own fault for being too self centred to consider others.

That would be a fair comment if she'd said from the outset no kids. If she said they were invited we'll you'd assume they were wouldn't you!

If she's only just found out, there's probably not much that she can do, to be fair, especially if she had paid for the venue. I probably wouldn't have thought to check whether kids were allowed if I'd hired a place. The venue should have made that clear. If they didn't she should ask for her money back and see if there is anywhere else available. Ideally she should pay for a childminder and organise food/pizza at her house for all the kids so that they could have their own fancy dress party.

If you click on "see all" in OP's post you can read all of the information that she has provided. Then you (and so many others) would know that she has called the venue!

And guess what..... children are not allowed.

I would. Who has time to fuck about finding stuff and making stuff? Plus, there may well be a theme etc. We have done fancy dress many times and do have a dressing up box, but lots of the things in there were purchased for occasions.

SHE HAS RUNG THE VENUE!

If I was you I just wouldn’t go & would take my kids out for a fun time & tell the others to do the same!

Click on "See all" on the OP's first post, and you will see that she has already made other arrangements.

I think MN needs to do something about how posters see the OP's posts because we get far too many "cancel the cheque" posts these days.

Has she gone mental at the venue for only bow just informing her children cant attend? They are going to have to change their policy as this wasnt your fault.

She was specifically asked if children can attend, any functional adult would have double checked at this point. If you’re happy to let family and friends spend money unnecessarily and upset kids then it says a lot about the type of selfish individual you are.

Some people seemingly choose to be selfish arseholes too huh?

Read the thread ??

Read the thread.

I'd point out to the SIL that she needs to find another venue and fast.
Maybe if she's paid a deposit and risks losing it, then it might wake her up a bit

Party's already in progress I think - from the OP.

Absolutely! As you can see, this has become a real bugbear of mine.

It's got to the point where I feel the Johnny-come-latelys are actually really arrogant, thinking they're swooping in heroically to bestow their unique advice that none of the previous hundred posters might have thought of.

Maybe I should step away for a while 🤔