I have quite strong views on prostitution

[Tonight1]

Not at all about the women, just that I would not want to date a habitual user! Or punter as they're called. And yes this came up recently.

This is discussion about how you would feel about it?

AIBU - wouldn't mind
YANBU - would mind

Self control. Doesn’t matter the urge, doesn’t matter the compulsion. Humans are not just animals: we can master our impulses and drives. Men who think they HAVE to have sex haven’t been told they’re not just rutting dogs.

After a long break away from this thread, the only thing I can think of is that torettsticks thought that autistic men and boys sexually assaulted me (perhaps she thinks that all the autistic people are permanently segregated from everyone else?) and would be less likely to do so if they could pay to rape a woman.

1. I attended mainstream schooling, socialised as best as I could with my neurotypical friends in mainstream settings like music venues, and hence my assailants were, to the best of my knowledge, neurotypical.
2. Whilst autistic men can struggle with boundaries, they usually understand consent concepts once explained to them.
3. We don't end rape by setting aside a special class of women who men can pay to rape.
4. We don't teach autistic men to respect women's boundaries by telling them that it's OK to pay to rape that set of women over there as long as they leave the others alone, because, in common with most men, they will not actually treat the two sets differently.
5. Corollary to (4): even if men could be relied upon to treat prostituted women differently from other women, we don't throw a set of women to the wolves like that.

He didn't want sex. Had it once and said it was not for him (although sadly, he lost his virginity to a prostitute... in his 40s. Had no idea what he was doing. Said the lady laughed at him and said he turned her lesbian). He was lonely and wanted company.

@XenoBitch

They just see the money.

Well duh…they’re seen as fair game for £20, did you expect them to have safeguarding procedures for their rapists clients? Disability or not - these women are being used. If he didn’t get sex it he could be in company with a woman why couldn’t he meet a woman the normal way?

I don’t believe men who say they only play Uno or whatever with prostitutes. All men who hire them see them for the genitals. Don’t give these rapists the benefit of the doubt

It also begs the question - if men are mostly homeless and prostitution is a lifeline for homeless people, why aren’t there more male prostitutes using this ‘lifeline’?

Rapists are not vulnerable, even the disabled ones.

What a hero funny how he doesn’t go and help the many non-prostitute women.

He did not know how to meet a woman the normal way due to his autism.

I am not sure how to explain that to you.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Can one not boil down any relationship to a transaction? Security, love, sex, ambition..? I'm not saying it's right, and I'm not trying to Trojan horse any beliefs on transactional sex at all, I'm actually just seeking understanding.

Why is DiCaprio a villain for being desired? These women know who he is and what he wants. They're making a choice to be with him. I asked the question above of how does a rich man truly ever know 'why' this pretty girl is having sex with him... Is it love (what's inside) or ambition (what they offer)? Conversely, you could also make the argument for attractive women. Are men after their love (what's inside), or simply what they look like (what they offer)?

If those girls (in this instance) are seeking out fame, success, money, strength, power... is either party really to blame? DiCaprio is ugly now. If you took away his money and fame, he would be single. So does that not tell you what these girls are after? These girls are pretty, young, and probably (sadly) easy. He's not shipping them over Gary Glitter style, they're approaching him at award ceremonies etc. If they were ugly, old, and not providing sex, they would not have the appeal. Does that not tell you what he's after.

I'm not saying it's right on either side... but it's mutual. Both sides are being used.

And yet of the many routes he can use to alleviate loneliness he pays a prostitute, even though he hates sex. Adds up

Really? The ONLY way he knew was to approach a vulnerable woman on the streets/in an brothel and pay her? He couldn’t possibly have done it any other way, it just HAD to be a prostitute.

God the delusion would be amusing if it wasn’t so depressing.

I didn't clock this one from the troll.

If all the women on here were told they couldnt have sex again for the rest of their life because men werent interested in them I bet they would change their attitude

Yes, my attitude would change if all men lost interest in all women: I'd stop fearing rape and my whole life would change for the better. I'd be able to talk to male colleagues and laugh at their jokes without worrying that my behaviour might be misinterpreted as flirting. I'd be able to go for a run without being catcalled by van drivers. I'd be able to catch a busy tran without being groped. I'd be able to take the question "do you want to come in for coffee?" at literal face value. I'd be able to have a tradesman come to the house without calling my mum or sister before and after just to let someone know that I'm safe and alive. I'd be able to have a conversation with a man without worrying about him having ulterior motives.

I don't think that was the answer that the troll was expecting.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Agreed
it would be wonderful

I think you might have to read up on autism and how it can affect how you perceive people and their intentions.

My friend went to the police about the prostitute who robbed him. They did not press charges on him for seeing her... he was classed as vulnerable and not aware. They actually sign posted him to help to get out the habit of paying women to talk to him.
And that is how I know him. He had therapy as seeing the ladies was seen as a form of self harm. He is doing so much better now, and had more healthy relationships with all around him.
But yes, please still condone him getting his head kicked in.

@XenoBitch you really should tell better lies.

This hero friend of yours with autism who only spoke to them because he hated sex right? So why did you first post say this:

And someone very close to me now told me he has used prostitutes several times. He has ASD and he felt it was his only way to have sex.

And again, why is it that this scenario only goes one way and what does it tell you about the power dynamics in society?

He was approached. Have you actually seen any prostitutes out? They tout for business. Like I said in a PP, my female friend's husband gets "are you looking for business" every time he goes home from work.
My town must be rough, because I see women approach men all the time.
And the prostitute that robbed my friend is trying to approach him on his social media. He wants nothing to do with her

I don’t care what disability a man has if he rapes women because he can’t be arsed to get sex the proper way he’s a POS.

Also a POS - people who see rapists as vulnerable then change their stories when they don’t get a slew of ‘aaawww poor man’

He had sex one time with one prostitute.
The rest have been because he wanted company. Using a prostitute can mean just talking, and not always sex. You paid.

So he gets approached which means he CAN talk to women and have sex with them as long as they approach him first.

So why can’t he go on dating sites, or a site for meeting friends?

What a BS cop out excuse

You’re full of it - one minute it’s the ‘only way he can have sex’…next it’s ‘oh he hates sex, only had it once anyway, he used the others just to talk’

Youre a bad liar. If you’re gonna lie do it better

I'm autistic.

As kindly as possible: FUCK OFF with using my condition as an excuse for paying to rape. Believe me when I say that you hurt all autistic people, all women, and especially autistic women when you do this.

It is easy, two steps easy, for autistic men to meet women:

1. Join a board gaming group, or an aerial arts group, or take up salsa dancing, or some other structured social activity like that.
2. Talk to the women in the exact same way as you talk to the men. That means, don't talk about how you are looking for a girlfriend because that will make her run, don't stare at her tits, don't monopolise her, don't stalk her. If in doubt, stick to talking about the focus of the hobby group.

Even if what you said was true, inability to socialise does not confer a licence to pay to rape.

What kind of circumstances? I can't think of any excusable circumstances where a man needs to seek the services of a prostitute.

He does not use dating site or meets because he is not able.
He can't navigate the online world. He has FB, and added most of the planet thinking they were true friends.
Like I said, he now has a great support network that are looking out for him.
I know his story and issues. I have seen other men in my town that I know have very profound LD. They probably do not fully understand consent etc... yet I see them with the local prostitutes.

@XenoBitch but if he wants company he could see his friends. Sex isn't a right. We can live without sex. We may want it but we can live without it.