I have quite strong views on prostitution

[Tonight1]

Not at all about the women, just that I would not want to date a habitual user! Or punter as they're called. And yes this came up recently.

This is discussion about how you would feel about it?

AIBU - wouldn't mind
YANBU - would mind

Very fair point. Hadn’t thought about it like that!

@cariadlet @AntonFeckoff

I appreciate both your views, but the average person does not want to live without sex.

In places like Australia, prostitution is legal and actually regulated, so in this situation, is it still considered 'rape' in your view? The women are there voluntarily and get paid good money for a service they willingly provide.

I remember a blogger saying that the average woman has the same access to sex as an A-list celebrity... this is certainly not true for even good-looking men. An average woman could ask 100 men and be reasonably successful... an average man would fail miserably.

Saying 'I can have sex any time I want, but f you, men, you have to rely on your right hand because those are the cards you were dealt' is a bit insensitive... akin to a man saying women have to sit on the sidelines at sport because f you, women, those are the cards you were dealt'. The ability to succeed (more) in each case is simply a 'perk' of each respective gender. Women biologically have greater access to sex, and men biologically are stronger and thus will outperform women at sport.

I'm asking the question, but honestly, I don't think there is an answer. OLD means that women can be very picky about who they bed, and as a result, there will be a lot of men without a sexual future. Prostitution has been used for centuries but is now being shamed. Porn would be a 'second best' but is equally derided (on MN).

I feel sad for the women who have to
turn to sex work in order to support themselves and, as I have heard from reliable sources, almost always a drug habit. It’s a very dangerous industry and, surely, it would not exist if there were no demand - from men.

Very bothersome the replies depends on the circumstances wow . I guess you keep your head hidden if you seriously think all prostitues do it willingly and aren't trafficked and forced to do it by pimps

You guys have noooooo idea just how many men are seeing prostitutes. There's thousands of them in the UK, and they're not even beautiful young things. There are size 16 50-somethings - lots of them - with their phones ringing off the hook.

And you absolutely cannot tell their clients from any other men. They are utterly indistinguishable from the men in your life. Some of them are the men in your life.

"Regulation" doesn't mean a thing. Prostitution is trafficking here in Australia as much as anywhere else, in fact we have a huge problem with sex trafficking. Even for the few women who start it "voluntarily" it's traumatising, horribly damaging experiences, subjected to total male depravity.

Just think of the distress of women right here on MN talking about being subjected to sex they don't want and are coerced or physically forced into by their partners. Then think of that multiplied multiple times a day with complete strangers who have no hesitation in inflicting utter brutality on them. Think of the women trapped in brothels, beaten and raped by pimps (probably from childhood), brought into countries on the promise of real work, their passports stolen, imprisoned, no money, drugged, sometimes even shackled. That's the reality of prostitution.

No, of course not.

A friend of mine has a prostitute who has her 'patch' right outside my friend's house. She asks my friend's husband if he wants business every time he comes home from work. This same prostitute has headbutted my friend when confronted, and the police did fuck all as she is classed as vulnerable.

As I said up thread, a close friend of mine has used prostitutes in the past as he was lonely and wanted sex (not unusual for someone who is autistic). He was taken advantage of and was coerced out of hundreds of pounds.... and the same lady is now trying to contact him over social media for more money.

There is a chap in my town who has quite profound learning disabilities, and the local prostitutes absolutely take advantage of him.

Yes, there is probably a pimp/boyfriend making her do it, but they are not innocent angels that people make them out to be.

So you wouldn't date a man who regularly uses prostitutes? Nor would I.

I wouldn't call that an especially strong view...surely most women wouldn't knowingly date a man who does?

Yes but what about men’s sexual futures????

🙄

I don't get why this is classed as having quite strong views on prostitution. Surely most women would feel the same? Actually it seems on mn they do, from the poll.

Yes, there is probably a pimp/boyfriend making her do it, but they are not innocent angels that people make them out to be.

And so…. what? Because a prostitute might not behave in a very nice way she deserves to have to service men’s cocks for a living?

@C1C1N1C I was at the Nordic Model Now Conference in London last weekend.

Among the speakers, was a survivor who had worked in the legal brothels of Germany. Another woman debunked the myth that legalisation in New Zealand has been good for women. Previously, I have listened to a survivor share her horrific experience of working in a legal New Zealand brothel.

These places do not keep women safe. Most women are not there through choice and are far from well paid.

All legalisation does is increase demand by reducing the social stigma and, because of increased demand, increase the numbers of trafficked women.

https://youtube.com/@NordicModelNow?si=aQm2-Jh7NflIm_ZKhttps://youtube.com/@NordicModelNow?si=aQm2-Jh7NflIm_ZK

I have a family member with Asperger's who has never had a relationship and he used to regularly visit a sex worker in her suburban home. She was a single mother doing a degree. He fell hopelessly in love with her and wanted to "save" her and she stopped him seeing her.

This was decades ago. I was actually pleased the service was available to him, and very surprised he'd actually sorted it out for himself.

Couldn’t date a man who has sex with a woman when he knows she doesn’t actually want to have sex with him. It’s fucking grim.

For fucks sake, did you never stop to think how desperate for money that poor woman must have been?

Did you wonder how many of the men who paid her assaulted her or refused to pay her or refused to wear a condom or pressurised her into performing acts which she found painful or degrading?

Did you wonder if she disassociated during sex to cope with what was happening?

Did you wonder would happen to her kid(s) if their friends found out what she was forced to do to make ends meet?

Did you wonder if she suffered from PTSD?

Or did none of that matter as long as you family member found someone he could pay to fuck?

I think this is over determined.

Anyone who tells you that you are ugly compared to anything is already in run for the hills territory.

To be honest, no I didn't. Around that time I'd seen a couple of documentaries about sex workers who were saying that they had full agency and it worked for them. I took them at face value I suppose, and at the time probably thought I was being liberal and non-judgemental.

I was in my early 20s. There were a lot of things I hadn't wondered about back then.

I've done a lot of wondering since then and totally get the points you make.

And take advantage of vulnerable men...?

It goes both ways.

Same as some people I know. I mentioned one in a PP... and despite not seeing her in person for well over a year, she has been trying to get in touch on his various social media platforms. He was a clear mark, she exploited him for money, and now wants more.

Girls ? You mean women.

@IIsittimeformynapyet Thanks for the honest response.

Liberal feminists have done a lot of damage by pushing the "sex work is work" line.

If you are interested in finding out about the realities, I'd recommend googling Nordic Model Now or Collective Shout or clicking on the link I posted earlier to the NMN YouTube channel.

I think a lot of men nowadays are just expected to go without sex in reality, but then as you say MN forbids porn as well. They'd probably prefer it if men could just get their knackers done like dogs.

I'm very much against prostitution but male sexuality in general is frowned upon here. Women generally have unlimited access to sex if they wish to have it, so it's not a level playing field in that sense.

Your choice entirely