To not plate my 10 year old's pizza?

[Mastmw7g]

DH does most of the cooking and tends to cater to DD. I've become concerned that she will not eat when hungry unless he puts food in front of her. He was out and we had pizza. She told me she didn't see her plate. I said to then grab a plate and join me. She said no and went to her room without eating. DH came home and became upset that she hadn't eaten and said I should have put her pizza on a plate for her.

If my 10 year old turns up late for a family style, serve it yourself dinner (eg. Pizza, wraps) then decides that because it's not been served right in front of him he's not going to eat, then personally, I think he's old enough to deal with the resulting hunger. I don't feel this is a failing on my part.

In fact, my 10 year old has been getting fussy, so there has been times when he has refused to eat what I've cooked and got himself noodles or chicken entirely on his own.

The child is 10, not 3, they should be pitching in and getting towards being able to provide a meal for a whole family, not cutting off their nose to spite their face by refusing to get their own plate.

LuckySantangelo35

omg! No salad!! Cold plates!! eating pizza with no knife and fork!!
crazy!”

That wasn’t my post (I replied to it but failed to highlight). Though I agree with it. So much crap parenting here.
Some people care about their children. Which is apparently odd.

When I make pizza I bring out plates and glasses for drinks for all those present. Weird not to do that regardless of age.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Your husband has created an appalling situation; a child who will refuse to eat unless pandered to and served like a princess. Wtf.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Your husband has created an appalling situation; a child who will refuse to eat unless pandered to and served like a princess. Wtf.

Read it all now. Serving a 10 year old dinner on a plate is treating them like a princess now? WTF?

If I cook, I serve my husband. If he cooks, he serves me. We are neither of us royalty.

It is bizarre, it's part of making a meal to put it on plates but MN has to do the usually 'servant, stepford, martyr' bullshit.

(Posted too soon)

Hibiscrubbed

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 10:25
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This is absolutely ridiculous. Your husband has created an appalling situation; a child who will refuse to eat unless pandered to and served like a princess. Wtf.

Read it all now. Serving a 10 year old dinner on a plate is treating them like a princess now? WTF?

If I cook, I serve my husband. If he cooks, he serves me. We are neither of us royalty.

Her brothers, younger and older, one with ND, managed to get a plate, place a piece of pizza on it, take it through and eat.

This child is so used to being served by daddy that she refuses to do that and would rather slope off to her room than physically pick up a plate and place a piece of pizza on it.

The pandering husband has created this situation, which has likely developed into wilful ineptitude.

You are wrong. The dad's approach works, the Op's approach doesn't.

Why did op even start this thread? To help her solve the issue? Or to get validations from equally neglectful parents on a random site?

I suppose you do you. Some families are a bit rough.

I'm wondering what the other horrible things are Op says about her daughters?

@Hibiscrubbed the father is parenting his child he isn’t pandering to her or treating her as a princess . The OP clearly regards her as a nuisance and can’t be arsed.

GalileoHumpkins

It is bizarre, it's part of making a meal to put it on plates but MN has to do the usually 'servant, stepford, martyr' bullshit”

I wonder why some people have children at all if putting a ready made pizza in the oven and then onto a plate for a 10 year old somehow makes them a martyr.

It is bizarre, it's part of making a meal to put it on plates but MN has to do the usually 'servant, stepford, martyr' bullshit.

Sometimes. In my house growing up we served ourselves, in my house it's a mix depending on what we're eating - I hate it when someone else decided how much of each thing I was to eat.

And the kids are expected to pitch in - eg bring plates/cutlery to the table.

Having dinner served to you on a plate doesn't make you a princess. Refusing to go and get yourself a plate to put a slice of pizza on is what gives off princess-vibes.

What chores does the child do? What do they do for themselves?

Did you call her to dinner? Or did she wander in while you were eating? There’s a big difference between calling children to dinner and then all together getting out plates to go and eat, and just serving yourself without even letting a child know that food is ready. I would find it hard to eat as an adult in the latter situation because it would feel so hostile.

My three year old can serve themselves food if needs be. This thread is astonishing. I mean some people’s drippy parenting.

I hugely doubt OP's dd is a 'princess' what a sexist term in any case.

She is a girl whose mother is knowingly or unknowingly playing mind games with her.

The princess label from posters is validating and perpetuating OP's abuse. Horrible thread, I hope it gets pulled.

Hibiscrubbed · Today 10:30
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My three year old can serve themselves food if needs be. This thread is astonishing. I mean some people’s drippy parenting.”

Good grief.
Some people’s lackadaisical parenting.

Oh Ffs 😂

Your DH isn't mollycoddling her. It's parenting 101 to ensure your DC is fed at regular intervals and to put that food out for them.
You don't wait for a DC to tell you that they're hungry because they can often forget to eat but for nutrition and development - they need to eat. So as the adult it's your responsibility to ensure they do and most parents fulfil that responsibility by making and plating food then everyone sitting together at a table to eat it (obviously DCs take on some of those chores as they get older)
You make it sound like a self-service restaurant where your DD is responsible for her own eating and food.
It's not about your DD not fulfilling her chores around the table or dinner because you haven't given her chores. It's about a basic parenting requirement of providing food.
How did your parents provide food for you when you were a DC? Because your attitude to food, eating and plating must have come from somewhere.

sorry.

you made pizza, cut it, then left it on the side and told everyone to put it on a plate themselves?

Why?

How is this normal? You cut the pizza and plate it up, then get your kids to come get their plates.

do you do the same with all food?

Bizarre.

As a parent your job is to feed your kids, not let them go hungry because you cba to put 2 slices of pizza on a plate for your daughter, ffs.

Teaching a child that sometimes food is self serve and how to do that appropriately is lackadaisical? 😂 ok. God help your little lord and lady Fauntleroys at a buffet.

Expecting the boys to serve themselves but daddy’s little princess is entitled to sit back and be served, that’s a stand up approach?

It’s a pizza. A social meal whereby you take what you want, stick it on a plate, and eat it with your hands.

Hibiscrubbed

My adult children have excellent table manners, in every social situation, thank you. As does our grandchild (who is 3. No, I don’t expect him to serve himself dinner 🤣)

Oh come off it. Nobody has said anything about the presence or absence of side dishes. And for a quick pizza dinner hands and plates are just fine. We do this sometimes, including Cold Plates sometimes, and if it’s just pizza we’d eat it with our hands. The next night we’d be around the table eating something far more complex and lovingly made. Stop implying that basic help yourself pizza for tea is a sure sign of neglect.

The worrying thing here is not trying to get to the bottom of a child not eating, treating it as a viable option for her to wander off without dinner.

OP, you are completely unreasonable and wrong. she's a 10 year old girl and you are treating her nastily and favouring her brothers. of course she goes to her room instead of eating when you purposefully put barriers in front of her eating that you know she struggles with. that's not what a loving mother does. stop trying to "win" and out-manoeuvre a young girl who you are supposed to be nurturing. if she struggles to get her own dinner, ask her why, listen to her properly and try to understand. try to have some compassion.

I wouldn't bother interacting with the poster who is determined to make the thread about them. It's not as though they're adding to the discussion by spamming the thread with the same comments over and over again.

Talipesmum

Oh come off it. Nobody has said anything about the presence or absence of side dishes”

Come off it. OP is clearly lazy AF (husband usually cooks) and just can’t be arsed.