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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not plate my 10 year old's pizza?

486 replies

Mastmw7g · 17/11/2023 04:05

DH does most of the cooking and tends to cater to DD. I've become concerned that she will not eat when hungry unless he puts food in front of her. He was out and we had pizza. She told me she didn't see her plate. I said to then grab a plate and join me. She said no and went to her room without eating. DH came home and became upset that she hadn't eaten and said I should have put her pizza on a plate for her.

OP posts:
Traceyislivid · 17/11/2023 19:14

My daughter is ‘on the spectrum’ with regard to sensory issues. Hates brushing her hair (and teeth). With regard to food she can’t be around when it’s getting served. It’s the most odd thing. She runs out the kitchen when I’ve taken it out the oven then asks for it to be ‘delivered’ to her. Is it odd? In my world yes. But I tolerate it to get her fed. Do you think your daughter has sensory processing issues?

https://www.webmd.com/children/sensory-processing-disorder

Sensory Processing Disorder: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment

WebMD explains sensory processing disorder, a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving information from the senses. People with the condition may be over-sensitive to things in their environment, such as sounds.

https://www.webmd.com/children/sensory-processing-disorder

overwhelmed2023 · 17/11/2023 21:12

Maybe because I'm old and Northern, to ' plate' as in OPs title sounds rather restauranty but 'put the pizza on a plate ' sounds normal. Not being all that serious though ...

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 17/11/2023 22:19

SaltedPies · 17/11/2023 14:23

Some posters are missing the point. OP recently complained about her eldest being a cam girl and also refuse to let her dd 1 live with them as apparently she is difficult ( I wonder why she's difficult 😂) Her 4 dc have grown up in a one bedroom place which in itself is problematic. Op can't be bothered to engage with her dd and posts thread after thread complaining about her female children. She is clearly struggling with some of the basic aspects of parenting, food, accommodation, consistency and love.

And misogyny, based on how much she criticises her daughters.

user96327888 · 17/11/2023 23:01

I am similar and it's due to ND. It's like I lack motivation to eat so only if it's in front of me will I eat otherwise I will eat max once a day but sometimes go without for 2.

HoppingPavlova · 17/11/2023 23:58

@LittleBearPad Do I know who’s eating dinner in my house, yes. It’s mad, I know, but I talk to my family. Do I call everyone down to dinner and then serve and all eat together around a table, also yes

Thats fine. You obviously have a household that all gets in and plonks themselves down (and knows what they are doing), before you start dinner. Mine isn’t like that, esp Thur/Fri/Sat nights. Even between starting dinner and finishing our numbers may well change - change of mind, change of plan, an extra who has come to pick someone up deciding they may as well score a meal if it’s going. It’s not a case of ‘not talking to your family’, as you so smugly put it, but logistics of a large adult family, with young people, under one roof (everyone either at uni or saving for huge deposits to enable affordable repayments). I’m not imposing a rule everyone has to make a decision at 5 and stick to it, if they get a better offer at any point, good for them.

As for the all sitting around the table (with the warm plates with salad on), again, I’m not making anyone do anything. Last nights example. Those who were in and hadn’t already eaten before getting in, sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out. Seemed sensible as other options were stuffing lift around if not ready, or having to spend money on food while out. The rest of us in no way felt, by not all sitting at the table together, that we don’t love each other or whatever other ridiculous nonsense you are ascribing to people, food, tables. Mon to Wed you are likely to find most of us sitting around the table as most are in at dinner time those days and the table feels a more natural fit those days, as opposed to telling people they must sit there every day irrespective. It’s not like we only love each other half the week though …………..

LittleBearPad · 18/11/2023 09:54

HoppingPavlova · 17/11/2023 23:58

@LittleBearPad Do I know who’s eating dinner in my house, yes. It’s mad, I know, but I talk to my family. Do I call everyone down to dinner and then serve and all eat together around a table, also yes

Thats fine. You obviously have a household that all gets in and plonks themselves down (and knows what they are doing), before you start dinner. Mine isn’t like that, esp Thur/Fri/Sat nights. Even between starting dinner and finishing our numbers may well change - change of mind, change of plan, an extra who has come to pick someone up deciding they may as well score a meal if it’s going. It’s not a case of ‘not talking to your family’, as you so smugly put it, but logistics of a large adult family, with young people, under one roof (everyone either at uni or saving for huge deposits to enable affordable repayments). I’m not imposing a rule everyone has to make a decision at 5 and stick to it, if they get a better offer at any point, good for them.

As for the all sitting around the table (with the warm plates with salad on), again, I’m not making anyone do anything. Last nights example. Those who were in and hadn’t already eaten before getting in, sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out. Seemed sensible as other options were stuffing lift around if not ready, or having to spend money on food while out. The rest of us in no way felt, by not all sitting at the table together, that we don’t love each other or whatever other ridiculous nonsense you are ascribing to people, food, tables. Mon to Wed you are likely to find most of us sitting around the table as most are in at dinner time those days and the table feels a more natural fit those days, as opposed to telling people they must sit there every day irrespective. It’s not like we only love each other half the week though …………..

You’re very defensive.

And eating in a bathroom is grim.

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 09:56

I love plating up my children’s food.

As they grow older vanishingly less that i do to “mother” them. So i take what i can when i can! 😊

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 18/11/2023 09:58

It depressing to read what some children have to deal with

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:00

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 18/11/2023 09:58

It depressing to read what some children have to deal with

and then they go on to the stately homes thread

CecilyP · 18/11/2023 10:02

Mastmw7g · 17/11/2023 05:24

I didn't order take out.

So you cooked a pizza in the oven for a family of 4. Took it out of the oven. Then what? Did you slice it up? Did you take the whole thing to the table? Why would you not put it on plates? This is just bizarre!

Coyoacan · 18/11/2023 10:05

Pleaseletitbebedtime · 17/11/2023 04:32

Do you not family meal times when you sit down together around the same time at the table and eat?

This

SaltedPies · 18/11/2023 10:08

sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out.

Eating pasta bake in the bathroom while putting on make up Envy

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:10

SaltedPies · 18/11/2023 10:08

sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out.

Eating pasta bake in the bathroom while putting on make up Envy

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

how many cultures have you lived in… out of interest?

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:12

best thing i did was not have a tv in our kitchen diner.

even if just me here whilst pottering about cooking, cleaning etc… i would probably click it on without thinking. but with no TV, i listen to radio or podcasts, and children forced to talk to me!!

SisterHyster · 18/11/2023 10:28

SaltedPies · 18/11/2023 10:08

sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out.

Eating pasta bake in the bathroom while putting on make up Envy

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

It’s not an English thing. We do it in Scotland too. And I bet they do it in NI and Wales.

What makes your culture the correct one?

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:37

SaltedPies · 17/11/2023 14:24

In fact... I think OP is a troll.

says the poster with no posting history at all aside from posts on this thread

🤔

aSofaNearYou · 18/11/2023 10:39

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

Fair enough to say it's not for you or you personally find it antisocial, but you have to be a certain type of person to describe something like this as "wrong".

margotrose · 18/11/2023 10:41

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

You must be very sheltered then, because it most definitely is a "thing" in other cultures. There's nothing wrong with it either - or do you think people who live alone should eat in silence while staring at a wall?

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:42

i don’t like the sound of any “culture” that judges anything different to its own “culture” to be “just wrong”

LittleBearPad · 18/11/2023 10:43

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:42

i don’t like the sound of any “culture” that judges anything different to its own “culture” to be “just wrong”

I’m not sure watching tv whilst eating dinner is the hill to die on in protecting the UK’s culture.

Afteropening · 18/11/2023 10:49

LittleBearPad · 18/11/2023 10:43

I’m not sure watching tv whilst eating dinner is the hill to die on in protecting the UK’s culture.

agreed

hence not stipulating “to watching”

i don’t just anyone for doing anything as innocuous as this. a “culture” that does sounds unappealing

still waiting to hear what culture we are talking about!

wokbun · 18/11/2023 10:50

I have thought about this since my first response. Stop playing mind games with your daughter. It's cruel. Just get everyone involved in plating up in turns.

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 18/11/2023 10:52

SaltedPies · 18/11/2023 10:08

sat on the lounge and watched a show together while eating, except one who put their pasta bake into a bowl and ran it up to the bathroom where they ate it while continuing with hair and make up before going out.

Eating pasta bake in the bathroom while putting on make up Envy

Eating while staring at the TV must be an English cultural thing, I've never seen this in any other culture. It's just wrong.

I love a Chinese takeaway whilst watching a film on a Saturday evening.

Definitely doesn't feel wrong.

DisquietintheRanks · 18/11/2023 11:03

Just back from Spain and happy to report eating in front of the TV is a thing there too. Not for every meal but yeah, sometimes after a long day's work they like to kick back and relax as well.

Ditto Nigeria.

nopeasplease · 18/11/2023 12:48

This is one of the strangest things I've ever read.

If I make dinner for people I put it on plates for them - even adults! So I have no idea why you wouldn't do it for a small child, I just can't understand your behaviour - hers seems perfectly normal