School mum making it clear we’re not invited to the party

[Thatbucketheadssong]

Just weird.

Mum at school, we’re friendly and chat, kids are friends etc.
She asked me at pick up if I was going to ‘X’s’ birthday party-other girl in the class, my Dd, 5, friends with her. It was the first I’d heard of it, felt slightly embarrassed, said ‘Oh I’m not sure, have to check my WhatsApp’s etc’ She then persisted with ‘Oh X’s mum sent me a message, some people invite the whole class on WhatsApp, others WhatsApp each person’ (yes, I know 😂) we’d obviously not been invited, bit 🤷🏻‍♀️But not too fussed really as our main larger friendship and mums/kids group is outside school and Dd wouldn’t know anyway at age 5 or be that bothered.
This mum clearly wanted to let me know…why? Was it being mean? I could see in her face she knew we weren’t invited, it wasn’t a casual oops mistake at all
Should I stay clear of this one?

This woman is not your friend. Steer clear of her. Sadly reasonably common behaviour.

@Teentaxidriver So odd…what is the point?

100% steer clear

This is absolutely one of the reasons I don't miss primary school or picking up time,

Yes, it is deliberate. God knows why.

She's trying to make you feel bad. Some people delight in causing other people upset. Take no notice, and limit your interactions with her in the future.

She’s obviously not got much else going on.

If you're friends is it definitely unkind? She might have thought you were probably invited and safe to ask. I've wanted to ask someone I was friendly with if their kid was going to a party but didn't just in case they hadn't been invited. If I had asked there wouldn't have been any bad intention, I would have gone on to ask them if they were staying or dropping off as I was trying to decide which I would do.

I would assume she wanted to lift share. Either that or she’s a bitch. I’d reserve judgment for now.

I would think that she either wants to upset you, or she wants you to get into a bitchy conversation about the other mother. Either way, best avoided. Don’t engage.

I bet if you said anything negative about this other mother – and I’m not presuming for one second that you would – she would be straight over to her and tell her what you have said.

Some people love to create drama, and have people bitching about each other. I presume it comes down to insecurity, people like that aren’t worth bothering with. They’ll never be happy unless everyone else is name calling, and you’ll never be able to trust them.

Some people play out some childhood trauma through their children.

Or, she is just not great at social cues.

I tend to just treat everyone as if they are kind and mice and the kind and nice ones appreciate it while the mean ones either feel guilty or give up!

This sort of behaviour often stems from jealousy. At some point she has probably been jealous of something you or your child have done or had and this is her little snidey dog back. steer clear but the problem is hers not yours.

I would assume she is looking to share lifts.

These people are not your friends. These people are not important and in a few years you won’t remember their names of those of their kids.
Fuxk em

I'd assume she'd asked if you were going to share a lift or ask if you wanted to tag team the party (you do this one, I'll do the next).

I wouldn't leap to 'avoid at all costs' 😳

100% it sounds like she knew exactly what she was doing. Some people clearly have nothing better to do with their lives. Steer clear.

I would think she assumed you were invited. NBD. Primary school party invitations can vary based on parents' relationships/favours, kids' relationships, available space. It's really not something to lose sleep over.

Heaven knows but some people can't wait to give bad news and see your face fall. I feel sorry for them

Sounds like she was hoping to lift share and was embarrassed when she realised you weren't invites, so tried to cover it up (badly) by blethering on about different invites.
Why put it down to being malicious when it's probably just one of those foot in mouth moments?

If you're thinking it's malicious then she'd have had to know beforehand that you weren't invited for a start off.

To stir the shit.

There’s at least one at every school. Steer clear. She’s not your friend.

Why are people assuming she wants to lift share? No where in the OP does it say they ever do that

I wouldn't read anything into this at all!

She wanted to know if you & your DD were going (for any number of reasons, lifts, discussing present ideas, just wanting to know if she'd see you there etc). Then when you said you'd have to check WhatsApp she though "eek, probably not invited then, I've put my foot in it", so said something about having received a direct WhatsApp about it to save you further time in checking back and/or embarrassment in asking the party mum direct.

Isn't that how.lift sharing starts?.

Someone asks first?

In my experience there's almost always a simple explanation. Hence people wondering about lift shares. Or just a bit of idle chat that went south when she realised you weren't invited. Always assume cock up not conspiracy.

Because one person said it and lots of others just parrotted it unthinkingly. Happens a lot around these parts. Definitely one of the more bizarre ones for the parrots to copy though.

Either she wanted to lift share or she had a foot in mouth moment. Unlikely to be malicious IMO.