To leave toddler playing in the other room for a bit?

[Frogmarch89]

So 18 month old has a giant playpen full of toys. If somebody is in the room she will only play in it with somebody else, she won't play independently. However if there is nobody else in there she happily plays with her toys and talks to her Teddy bears and dolls.

So sometimes I put her in it, make a cuppa and go in the other room for 20 minutes or so. Both doors are open so I can hear her playing and it is safe in there.

I mentioned doing this to my friend and she says that its not normal to leave a child that young alone. I didn't really think anything of it, it's only now and again and gives me a chance to have a cuppa in peace.

AIBU?

@Whiteday where did I say she was on the floor when I used hot things? Ofcourse that would be a ridiculous thing to do, that's why she would be sat in her high chair playing with playdoh or similar - not so when I was washing up or making a sandwich when it was fine to be on the floor

Funniest post I've read for a long time.

What an odd comment! It was the only way I could go to the toilet (I have twins)

That is the beauty of a playpen. You can leave them playing safely while hanging out clothes, answering the door, going to the toilet etc.

I'm an older generation and I don't really like the idea of video monitors in the bedroom. We had a baby monitor that let us know if dc were crying, in distress etc but it's a bit like trackers on phones it just seems a step too far. Dd2 does have a video baby monitor but I'm glad they weren't around when mine were young.

If its nice and safe then I would say it shows your little one already has a healthy sense of attachment and knows you'll come back - good for you both

You’re glad you weren’t able to safely watch your child?

Are you also glad you weren’t able to have safe sleep advice or safe car seats too?

Survivor bias is rife with “your generation”, but unfortunately you can’t tell your bullshit we were fine mantra to the ones who died.

Absolutely fine, would make sure no water cup in with her. It does everyone good to have downtime and she sounds perfectly safe. It can be a good thing, as it can help with separation issues later on.

I’ve never used a playpen and always left my
children to play if they are happy while I do stuff. At any age really! My youngest often played in the garden on her own before she could walk 😂 things were risk assessed and made as safe as possible for her.

In a playpen?

It's a completely normal thing to do!

And what does it matter if it DOES stretch to an hour? What terrible thing is going to happen if they are playing happily for an hour? (Very unlikely for an 18mo to self entertain for that long anyway).

Make sure you can hear them and are checking in in case of accidents.

I put my son in the cot at 6 weeks so he got used to it with a monitor whilst I was downstairs. It's fine to do that

Oh I did miss the playpen part - I would be happy to leave them playing indefinitely, if they can come and find me if they want to. In a playpen is different. Sorry I'm tired and must have skim read.

But yes it's totally fine to leave them to it for a while if they are happy.

No, it’s not fine to do that. Don’t give out dangerous advice.

Baby needs to be in the same space as you when sleeping (day and night) until 6 months because they base their heart rate, breathing and temperature on you. It prevents SIDS.

A baby monitor doesn’t help with any of that.

That is what a playpen is for. Not an issue at all.

Actually, no one truly knows why it reduces the risk of SIDS, they just know that it does. It's nothing but a guess that it may be something to do with mimicking breathing of the adults in the room.

SIDS is also rare and there are other things that are more likely to help prevent SIDS with much more solid research and evidence behind it such as putting them on their backs to sleep.

It's really a risk assessment that each and every parent needs to make for themselves.

Why would I need to watch my child while it slept when I could hear them? Also I had my eldest just after the back to sleep campaign so I obviously followed that advice (she hated it) and we also had car seats which we used - and seatbelts. I have 4dc and was always within hearing distance. The elder two were about 16 when they had their first mobile phone and they weren't smart so no option to track - and I wouldn't track my 15 year old unless they asked.

your child is safe, well engaged and happy.
your friend is utterly bizarre.

What you’re doing is perfectly normal. The comment from your friend about it not being normal sounds harsh, uncalled for and really not supportive. I’d say it wasn’t a normal reaction from a friend.

This sounds absolutely fine. I laughed at one poster who asked can you install a camera! So you can watch her grow wings and fly out of her playpen? 🤣🤣🤣

I left both of mine playing in a play pen when they were little. I had washing to take upstairs or a quick chance to make a bed and tidy up etc. I don’t agree with kids being stuck to their parents all the time, they need to learn to independently play and occupy themselves. You’re talking 20 odd minutes at a time, you can hear them should they need you. It’s healthy for you as a mother to grab a break when you see fit and recharge a little.

I used to leave mine in a travel cot with toys and watching tv whilst I had a quick shower, so I guess it’s the same. Different strokes

If you can see her I don’t see a problem. Some people are so overprotective and pretty much anal. If you’re comfortable with it and your child is happy where’s the harm.

Nothing wrong with that! I have 16 mo twins and I leave them playing for close to an hour every night to cook. Obviously I pop in to make sure they’re ok every few minutes but we cannot have our babies glued to us constantly!

Fine to have some time out but you also need to keep an eye out, they are able to find the slightest thing to do that is dangerous! Maybe a camera there so you can actually see what she's doing or frequent popping head round door. Would leave mine in small playpen while just going to loo or hoovering but would have visual contact most of the time. Listening out isn't enough at that age really, hearing a worrying noise and not knowing what happened 😐