To leave toddler playing in the other room for a bit?

[Frogmarch89]

So 18 month old has a giant playpen full of toys. If somebody is in the room she will only play in it with somebody else, she won't play independently. However if there is nobody else in there she happily plays with her toys and talks to her Teddy bears and dolls.

So sometimes I put her in it, make a cuppa and go in the other room for 20 minutes or so. Both doors are open so I can hear her playing and it is safe in there.

I mentioned doing this to my friend and she says that its not normal to leave a child that young alone. I didn't really think anything of it, it's only now and again and gives me a chance to have a cuppa in peace.

AIBU?

He was actually.

You are welcome to pretend so you don’t feel guilt. It doesn’t change the facts.

You can go to sleep every night thanking your lucky stars your child survived. Not all parents are so lucky.

You’d do well to remember that before giving out dangerous advice that could put another child in a dangerous situation.

I'm not pretending nor do I feel guilty. Sids is rare you know. And still followed the guidelines. Made sure he was on his back etc. Checked on him occasionally. Not that I have to justify myself and you can stop repeating yourself now.

No, you didn’t follow the guidelines, because the guidelines state baby should be supervised for all sleep until 6 months old.

You know you don't have to follow it all. I went with my judgement and it was fine.

You don’t have to do anything, no.

But if you love your child and want to keep them safe, why would you neglect to follow the guidelines to keep them as safe as they could be?

Even if you neglect to keep your child as safe as you could, why would you then go on to give dangerous advice to other mothers who may not be as lucky as you have been?

Your friend is crazy anxious then.
Child is not being abandoned at home alone as you are literally in the next room & can hear the child playing.
Carry on taking the time for yourself while your child is safe & entertained while your friend panders to their child.

Mine would sit in the chair in the kitchen for about 5 minutes and then bored. However, she would sit in the living room playing with her toys or watching Hey Duggee or Bluey while I popped in and out. The living room and kitchen are literally feet away from each other, she has always been fine. On the floor in the kitchen she's going to be in much more danger than how most people do it.

Just stop. I never neglected my son in any way. He was safe and loved.

It is not necessary to reply to my comments.

You were lucky. The important point remains: do not give out dangerous sleep advice.

As long as you are doing so, I will comment on it.

How would you feel if you found out another mother had lost their baby because they listened to the likes you with your survivor bias “he was fine”?

You just look daft because you keep saying the same thing over and over again. I wasn't giving out advice. I was just saying what I did and guess what millions of parents do the same thing. My mam put us all in our own room from day 1.

Your mam was also involved in dangerous sleep practices. That doesn’t make it okay. It’s called survivor bias.

Safe sleep is so incredibly important that I’ll repeat it a hundred times so the message is heard.

You “just saying” could lead to another baby’s death.

SIDS is incredibly rare. It's highly unlikely that scenario would happen.

Parents are also responsible for doing their own research and making their own risk assessments if they are willing to consider advice from a stranger on the internet.

What other parents do has got nothing to do with me. And my mam trusted her own judgement and did what she thought was best and it worked out. Like I've said before sids is rare.

We are pretty damn good mamas. 😌

I don’t think anyone considers a mother a good one when she neglects to follow safety guidelines for her child 🤔

That's your opinion which I don't care for ☺️

It is NOT that rare though... I have known 5 people who lost children to SIDs (including a family member) within my lifetime (so not talking ancient history here).

I myself very nearly died and was very luckily revived after 8 minutes in cardiac arrest as a baby. I was lucky that due to my family member dying just months early my family had become super paranoid and vigilant.

200 babies per year is not that rare... it's 3-4 per week and it makes up 7% of baby deaths.

I'm sorry that happened to you. This is what it says on the NHS

I'm sorry that you have known multiple people lose babies due to SIDS.

The NHS describes it as rare.

'' In the UK, around 200 babies die suddenly and unexpectedly every year. This statistic may sound alarming, but SIDS is rare and the risk of your baby dying from it is low.''

I know in my heart I wasn't an neglectful parent. I don't need a stranger on the Internet to tell me that I am when I'm not.

200 is 200 too many

It is absolutely neglectful to not follow safe sleep guidelines.

Anyone who doesn’t follow them is neglectful, because they are neglecting to appropriately and safely take care of their child.