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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler playing in the other room for a bit?

289 replies

Frogmarch89 · 16/11/2023 13:43

So 18 month old has a giant playpen full of toys. If somebody is in the room she will only play in it with somebody else, she won't play independently. However if there is nobody else in there she happily plays with her toys and talks to her Teddy bears and dolls.

So sometimes I put her in it, make a cuppa and go in the other room for 20 minutes or so. Both doors are open so I can hear her playing and it is safe in there.

I mentioned doing this to my friend and she says that its not normal to leave a child that young alone. I didn't really think anything of it, it's only now and again and gives me a chance to have a cuppa in peace.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 16/11/2023 13:45

I wouldn't leave an 18month old playing unsupervised in another room but I'm a bit over cautious and as you've described it sounds relatively safe. Could you put a camera in?

shivawn · 16/11/2023 13:47

Sounds completely fine to me OP, she's in her playpen presumably with no hazards and you can hear her playing.

PerspiringElizabeth · 16/11/2023 13:47

Omg definitely fine. It will stand her in good stead.

Mamato29192 · 16/11/2023 13:48

Sounds fine to me

InTheRainOnATrain · 16/11/2023 13:49

If she wasn’t happy she’d let you know. And presuming you also do lots of interacting and playing with her, then it’s fine! Your friend sounds like a bit of a martyr.

RedCoffeeCup · 16/11/2023 13:49

I couldn't have done this with mine at that age as they wouldn't have been happy to be left, but if she's fine then yes do it!

Notmetoo · 16/11/2023 13:49

I wouldn't do it but I would never use a playpen either. But if it works for you and she's happy then it's fine.

threefiftysix · 16/11/2023 13:50

I'm so jealous that you can do that! You're friend is batshit, if she's in a playpen that's totally fine and developmentally really good for her.

PinkRoses1245 · 16/11/2023 13:51

of course it's fine? They and you need space. and don't use a camera, it's total violation of their rights, they can't consent.

KnittedCardi · 16/11/2023 13:52

Absolutely fine. DD's used to play for quite a long time in their cots before and after naps. It's a good life skill to entertain themselves and/or nap. I used to love sneaking a peek and watching them babble away.

MsSquiz · 16/11/2023 13:53

PinkRoses1245 · 16/11/2023 13:51

of course it's fine? They and you need space. and don't use a camera, it's total violation of their rights, they can't consent.

@PinkRoses1245 do you feel the same way about video monitors in their bedroom?

Pinkpinkpink15 · 16/11/2023 13:56

It's fine! It's good for them to play independently.

She's safe and happy, you're happy win/win.

You're not 'leaving her alone' (unless you're getting your tea at the cafe down the road!!)

As she's happy in there, I'd be happy to leave her there while I put some washing away upstairs or whatever as well as while you have 5 minutes peace!!

Original poster
Frogmarch89 · 16/11/2023 13:58

MaryShelley1818 · 16/11/2023 13:45

I wouldn't leave an 18month old playing unsupervised in another room but I'm a bit over cautious and as you've described it sounds relatively safe. Could you put a camera in?

I do have a baby monitor that I could potentially use but she can't get out of the playpen and it doesn't have any hazards in there.

I listen to her babbling away and if it goes quiet I sneak a quick look in.

I honestly hadn't considered it an issue until my friend pointed it out.

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 16/11/2023 13:59

It's fine. I used to leave DD outside in her pushchair while she was napping. I put the baby monitor on her and let her crack on. It was an area where we all left the doors unlocked at night though. And today I let her go around the big part of the soft play by herself (she's almost 2 now) while I had a coffee.

It took some adjustment to the OTT helicoptering when we moved to England, I can tell you.

110APiccadilly · 16/11/2023 13:59

She's safe and happy. If she were getting fed up, I'm sure she'd let you know! I don't see any issue with it.

myotherkidisacassowary · 16/11/2023 14:00

It’s fine, it’s good for her in fact. She’s safely in a play pen so she can’t get hurt, and it’s good for her to learn independent play. As long as you could hear her if she called for you, there’s no harm.

shivawn · 16/11/2023 14:01

A couple of very odd comments in this thread. There's nothing wrong with using a playpen or a camera for your toddler OP if that's what you choose to do.

Your friend is either a very anxious parent or being judgemental. Either way I'd take no notice.

ManateeFair · 16/11/2023 14:02

This is absolutely fine. She's in a safe environment, it's good for her to play by herself for a while and she's clearly happy to do it.

Jk987 · 16/11/2023 14:21

Omg you don't need a camera! What exactly is going to happen? You can hear her play and you'll know if gets upset. Enjoy the break OP!

Needmorelego · 16/11/2023 14:26

That's what a playpen is for 😂
If you were in the same room you wouldn't need one because she would just play in front of you. You need to be in another room so baby goes in a safe and secure place. As long as you can hear her (and she knows where you are) then it's fine.

0MammaBear0 · 16/11/2023 14:27

That's absolutely fine, I leave my toddlers to play independently in their bedroom with their toys for a little bit every day so I can get on top of house chores that need doing. It's healthy for children to be left to play and develop their imagination. Your child is safe there in the playpen and you have the door opened so you can hear her if she needed anything.

WaltzingWaters · 16/11/2023 14:30

Completely fine provided it’s a safe area and you’re keeping an eye and ear out. I do this with my 19mo.

dullandgrey · 16/11/2023 14:32

100% totally fine. Enjoy your cup of tea Smile

notfeeblebutPhoebe · 16/11/2023 14:32

You are doing the right thing here, she is learning by doing. Not checking for approval cues from you as you observe her.
It seems a number of Mothers here have all read "How to bring up a snowflake, the early years"
I remember our DD babbling away, when it went quiet she would be asleep on her toys. Looked most uncomfortable. Ahhhh!

Daffodilsandbees · 16/11/2023 14:33

That’s exactly what playpens are for. It’s fine, or even better than fine as it’s teaching her independent play which will stand you in excellent stead

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